Now with extra social anxiety; awkward pauses are my speciality!
Special bonus!- I tend to err on the side of caution when someone seems not interested(so as to not be "that guy"...), so I will quickly lose interest if you show none.
Also, remaining calm when I am injured. One time I was riding my motorcycle on 24th Street, hit a patch of oil with my front wheel while braking for a stop, and went down. After I righted the bike, I realized something in my hand was going crunch-crunch-crunch when I actuated the clutch, so since I was near SF General I rode myself over there, parked my bike, and then lost consciousness because of the pain. Woke up and walked myself in, but never panicked.
Same kind of thing when recently a folding knife closed on my thumb and cut my finger in half lengthwise. Not pleasant, but never felt panic.
B. Burke PhD and Lenora M. Yuen PhD. Well, actually, I haven't
read it yet. Been meaning to. I'll start it tomorrow,
The Word For World Is Forest,Ursula K. LeGuin The way she makes you inhabit the over-the-top-macho villain's head is both enlightening and unsettling.
A Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood If the GOP had it's way...
Star Maker, Olaf Stapledon; If you have ever looked up at a starry sky and wondered what it is all for, please, please, please, read this book. Bundled with it in the Dover edition is his Last And First Men, a future history of the human race, from the First Men(Us), to the Seventeenth Men, living on Neptune with both they and the planet adapted, billions of years in the future, and facing the certain destruction of mankind. Told as if a member of the 17th Men was reaching back through time to tell one of us the story.
Wicked, Gregory Maguire; The Wizard
of Oz from the Wicked Witch's perspective; if you believe
that history is written by the victors in their favor, this
is for you.
Immortality, Milan Kundera; amazing.
Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson; great Swiftian extrapolation.
Anything by Tim O'Brien
Idoru, William Gibson
Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, Hunter S. Ok, Ok, Must stop, must stop. I like to read, can you tell? I get the shakes every time I walk in a book store. But one last quote before I quit(last great book YOU read: this profile):
"I look in the paper for a good comic strip to bring Ruth. All of them today would only hurt her feelings. Try this sometime: read the comics as though time were awfully short. You will be hard pressed to find anything funny. You will understand irony. You will put down the paper and look at the way the sun happens to be lighting the sky, and you will be thinking one word: please." Elizabeth Berg , Talk Before Sleep(About a woman whose friend is dying of cancer).
Currently reading: Black Elk Speaks, Jungian-Senoi Dreamwork Manual,Strephon Kaplan Williams.Speaker for the DeadOrson Scott Card
First edit in a LONG time: When my daughter was born, my dad sent me a copy of The Hobbit, the 50th Anniversary edition, hardbound faux gold leaf with the slip cover, inscribed "For Stella, when she is old enough, Grampa Ron". Well after years of playing with that neat gold book, she was recently old enough. It became our bedtime story, a bit of a chapter each night. She was sad when it ended, so can you imagine her excitement when I told her there were THREE more books? We just started The Two Towers, and she is giddy because it is now apparent that Gollum will be joining the story again. Her thing right now is to jump down from trees and other things onto all fours, and say in her best Smeagol voice (which is actually pretty good IMHO) "What has it got, in it's nasty little pocketses?" :) I'm so happy to be reading again, and in these circumstances...
Wings of Desire,Fight Club, Brazil, Blade Runner,Shawshank Redemption.Se7en, Usual Suspects
As for television, I did like Six Feet Under, the bits of Battlestar Galactica I've caught have been good, considering the cheesy 70's show it's based on, but if I have the time, I'd rather read, or see a movie.
On the ole iTunes playlist(Ster-e-o? What dat?): 120 Minutes,
Vol. 1&2, ACDC, Aerosmith, Aimee Mann, Aphex Twin,
Apocalyptica, Aretha, Beastie Boys, Beatles, Beck, Big
Boi, Bill Hicks, Billie Holiday, Bing, Bjork, Black Crowes,
Black Eyed Peas, Blondie, Blur, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley(Damn
iTunes; can't it recognize a last name to alphabetize?),
J.Cash, Cat Stevens, Cheap Trick, Christina Aguilera,
The Clash, Debussy, Concrete Blonde, Creedence, Crowded
House, The Cure, Cypress Hill, Danzig, Bowie, David Gray,
Dead Kennedies, Deborah Harry, Depeche Mode, (stay tuned
PJ Harvey, Nirvana, and Tom Waits stand out as never doing wrong by me...
Also, I just discovered I have a form of Tourette's, triggered by idiots driving too fast in the rain and skidding into my car on the freeway. I'm told no one else curses when that happens.
Just recently I had a dialogue here that really helped gel it for me. It essentially went like this:
Me:So, you know, I feel in the past I've made the mistake of latching on to one person far too soon, and this go I've decided I want to make a decision in a more balanced way. I am not a player, I just want to be sure when the time comes.
Them:I think I understand. I'm not exactly worried about relationship choices right now. I know what you are describing though, from both ends. Human connection is desired but difficult in the modern world.
Me:Yes, finding "The One" would be wonderful, but I also know I've thought I found them many times before. Perhaps a little perspective is in order? Human connection is a necessity, but often bundled with much baggage and caveats; it would be wonderful to have shared experiences that are not concerned with tomorrow, or ten years hence. I really want to have fun and play, be playful without being sleazy, get away to a different reality for a short while.
I can be serious about relationships, I am also open to the many forms they may take. Things I was sure about in my 20's seem laughable now; it will be interesting to look back again in 20 years...