32 Washington, United States
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My self-summary
Likes: hammocks, museums, sandwiches, and mini golf. Dislikes: kangaroos, raccoons, olives, and tourists. Friend of the National Zoo. Seth Rogen is my spirit animal.
What I’m doing with my life
Whenever my tee-ball team would lose and I was sad, my dad would always ask me the same thing:

"Did you have fun?"

I knew what I was supposed to say, so I always said it even when it wasn't true:


"Then you're a winner."

Thanks, dad.

Anyway, I'm busy being a winner. I am the physical embodiment of "Work to live, don't live to work" so don't ever expect me to talk about how my day at the office went, or stress about some big meeting or presentation. I put in my 8-10 hours every weekday, and don't bring my work home with me. I'm too busy reading/going to baseball games/playing shuffleboard/having living room dance parties to worry about that.

That being said, I do like my job, and am thrilled every day to get to go to work and support the performing arts, which are my biggest passion.
I’m really good at
- air hockey
- karaoke
- being confused for Zach Galifianakis while walking down the sidewalk
- playing the piano
The first things people usually notice about me
A child I had never met before was once asked to give me a super hero name. Kid looked me up and down, stared me in the eye, and said "Hot Dog Eater."

So I guess I look like I eat hot dogs. Which I admit I have done before and almost certainly will do again.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like liking things, but I hate this section so much.

Books: Kurt Vonnegut, David Foster Wallace, John Updike, Dave Eggers, Roberto Bolano, Cormac McCarthy, and Joe Meno all take up the most space on my shelves. Also a bunch of Murakami that I don't remember buying, I think they just appeared.

Last concert attended: Taking Back Sunday at 9:30 Club
Next concert coming up: Kyle Morton at 6th and I

Food: Mexican food above all else, but pretty much anything except for cauliflower and olives (edit: I had a cauliflower taco and now I'm on board with that stuff)
The six things I could never do without
1. Something to read
2. Delivery/takeout
3. Quiet/alone time
4. Sports (watching, playing, arguing about)
5. High fives
6. The performing arts - I'll go to pretty much any play/musical/opera/ballet I am handed tickets to
I spend a lot of time thinking about
On a typical Friday night I am
Seeing a play or musical, catching a Nats or Caps game, or firmly planted on my couch playing Overwatch
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Never have I ever been outside of the Eastern Standard Timezone
You should message me if
you want to get stoned and go to a museum