50 Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
Live life with the belief that it is not apocryphal. That what you do matters, to someone, most of all, yourself.

Stand-up guy, slightly bent, always straight. Will always be the one who has his arms outstretched, hands open but not for a handout. Broad shoulders, feet always akimbo, not running away. The one who will listen, not going to judge. Bantering is better than arguing. Man, who old women ask him to help them across the street. Respecting why, but asking how (and sometimes who and when as well).

Today I learned (TIL for those who read Reddit, and who doesn't?) that as of December 28, 2018, I will be the 8 billionth person alive in this world. That's something you never think about. Yay, 2018.

Very excited about violin lessons. Torturing the snot out of my over-patient neighbors, but it's so much fun to create music again with a new instrument.

For those of you who said the profile was too long, here's a synopsis:
* Single/Male
* Looking to meet someone IRL
* Not looking for hookups
* Available (aka, not married)
* Likes politics and conversation (wouldn't mind it if you did as well)
* Appreciates strong women (why would anyone want a weak one?)
* Understands what it means to be a gentleman
* Likes playing the violin (still learning...)
* Have never seen Hamilton, I can wait for the movie
* Have never taken an Uber, my feet work really well
* Would love an explanation of empty profiles
* Not into games/penpals (if your idea of "communicating" is months of emailing back and forth and dead-drop google voice calls, not sure I can accommodate, sorry if that offends, I offer my number, not asking you to do the same, just be real, I don't do catfish well)

Funniest line I've heard this week
"The ignorant are the last people you want to upset. The ignorant are committed." I laughed so long and so hard at that line because, sadly, it is true. I talk about politics and religion. I discuss them and hope that the strength of character can make it a worthwhile conversation.

Intelligence being the most attractive quality a person can possess. The expression, "What's the point of sleeping with someone, if you can't roll over and talk to them afterward, or instead of?" Engage the brain, encourage the heart.

Why is there such an overuse of "like"? If everything is "like" something else, then what is it really? Just think we should say what we mean.

Speak your mind. Know that it's always going to be respected.

Someone said to me the other day
You don't have regrets, you inherit them. You live them because you can't let them go. I'm not sure if that's true, I know I'm doing my best to have as few as possible.

Was on the R train on a typical Monday. Every time the door closed the announcer decided that it was "talk like a pirate day" and announced every stop and even the name of the train in pirate-speak. It made me appreciate how funny things are when you least expect them to be. Although a few of my fellow passengers seemed less than enthusiastic about the prospect of traveling with Captain Kidd all the way from Brooklyn to their destination, this guy made me happy for one-man's enjoyment of his work.

Was on the subway today (seems to be the start of most good stories). There was this couple, he had a suitcase, and a carry-on bag. She had the look of failed stoicism on her face. The more she tried, the more she cried, the more she simply wept. Wondered when they'd see each other again? How long had they been together? Have taken my share of lovers and friends to the airport. Have waited expectantly at the gate for them to get off the plane. There's an expression that we take lovers to airports, and friends to the curb. Is that true? It isn't my expression, I'm the kind that thinks a goodbye is worth saying at the last moment, without reservation.

Was walking home from work over the Brooklyn Bridge. There was this older couple walking up ahead. They were walking hand-in-hand. No hurry, their own pace. The woman let go of the man's hand for a moment and walked ahead of him. They had reached the midpoint (if you've ever walked over the Brooklyn Bridge you know the part, where the view is better than the other parts of the walk, although all of them are pretty spectacular). The man caught up with her a few seconds later. Passing them, I overheard their conversation:

Man: Why did you let go of my hand? (catching up to her as she stood at the railing looking at the view with the wind blustering, making her eyes tear).
Woman: Because I wanted to know what it felt like to have you want to come hold it again.

How lucky can two people be?

Was walking home today. Saw this woman, she was beaming and bouncing and just so effervescent. It was the look of someone rushing and gushing to meet their love. jealous and envious and expectant all at once were my emotions. Would very much like someone to have that expression coming to meet me. Wondered would she grab the other person, kiss them expectantly? Was it new or something just so shopworn that it was just too lovely to look at all at once? How lucky they must be.

Best things heard, so far
"I never told you I loved you, you never taught me how."

Truest thing heard so far
"I may be rags, but they're my rags, earned by me, not from someone buying my favors."
--a blackinia from Janagpur

"I think poverty is man made, it is not given by god."
--Ela Bhatt (if you've never heard of her, look her up, things will be different after that)

Smiling at strangers
Why don't we smile at each other more? When did it become standard practice to stare off into the middle distance on the subway? Why is eye contact akin to stalking and grounds for macing or a dirty stare? Was raised that a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet. Tell my daughter this all the time and she is astounded how at easy it is when she sees me talk to absolutley anyone. Of course, it embarrasses her, yet, I am hoping it instills the wonder of exploration as well.


Nerds and Jocks
Knowing this is true:

Women and men
* gender equality and that equal work, means equal pay
* opening doors
* putting notes in your lunch (perhaps even delivering it sometimes)
* standing aside to let you go first
* walking on the outside part of the sidewalk closest to the street (look it up, it used to be important)
* offering to pay for meals, not being offended if you say no
* bringing flowers for no apparent reason
* old-fashioned, gentleman-like behavior
* romance, and doing things for the other person for no other reason than you want to and that you can actually help when it's not always required
* having that "look" from across a room and knowing exactly what it means because you know each other well enough to have shared secrets
* knowing you have shared secrets
* anticipating getting you alone, because that's the best part of my day
* shared interests
* sandwich night
* you can make things better because you should
* being intellectually curious (ABC=Always Be Curious)
* love at second sight. Have you heard of this concept?
* that chivalry doesn't mean that only men give up their seats on the subway? What happened to equality?
* the efficacy of honesty

* Does anyone else get through the weekly issue of the Economist? Never finish the current one before the next one shows up. It can't just be me. Is it written for people who can grasp socio-econo-political nuances through osmosis? Do they sleep with it under their pillow? Does it help? Why is my copy always late? Yes, I read it in print. I know, bourgeoisie.

Why does height matter in a relationship? Who made that a "thing"? Some of the most powerful men in history have been with women taller than themselves. Have we progressed no further in evolution than for the superficial to matter this much? Don't we all eventually want to look IN to each other's eyes, not strain our necks looking at the bottom of the other's chin? It's like the age criteria. Perhaps the priorities are more superficial than they need to be.

Well, can any of your neighbors tell, Kate, I'll ask them?
Why do many men feel this way trying to tell women how they feel?

Why do so many believe the copyright disclaimer statement they're putting on their profiles is real:

"The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute). "

isn't actually real, someone is just passing along silly bad information. Not a lawyer, know how to use google.
What I’m doing with my life
Exploring. Laughing as often as possible.
Just signed up for violin lessons. Very excited about this. More music in my life would be a good thing.

Baking at 2am when I can't sleep. Especially pignoli nut cookies with almond paste. Anything made from scratch dammit, is worth doing.

Admitting things
* I do like conversation.
* I do as I say, say as I do.
* If I'm going to fail at something, I prefer to fail full-assed.

Tilting at windmills because I'd rather be wrong for all the right reasons.
I’m really good at
* Being early.
* Being honest.
* Spleling.
* Knowing the answers to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me".
* Finding NPR on the dial no matter what city I'm in at the moment. (apparently, a lot of men put NPR on their profile, if they do, how come I hear there are so many men who send one-word messages?)
* Dancing slightly akimbo.

Listening to someone tell me when I'm completely wrong, and accepting their point of view.

Admitting I don't do trendy. I did wait on line one time for 5+ hours for a hug from Amma. That was better than any cronut.

That it's actually okay to stay in on a Friday night.
The first things people usually notice about me
* My face smells like this stuff:,default,pd.html?cgid=shaving-products-after-shave#cgid=shaving-products-after-shave&start=1
* The earrings my 12-year-old made for me for Father's Day (even if they were 7 months late). Love kids' priorities
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
* Ruby Sparks, what an awesome premise. Imagine if we could will a partner as exactly as we wanted from our imaginations into reality? What would happen if we got exactly who we wanted? Then what do we do? Would we be bored? Would it be enough? Is it unseemly to want to find what we want?
* No Such Thing, finally got to see it again. Just wow.
* Moscow on the Hudson (all of it is simply beautiful, being an immigrant, just wrenches my heart)
* Where God Left His Shoes (how come they don't make movies with amazing dialogue like this any more?)
* This Must Be The Place (Sean Penn has never been better, the soundtrack is great) One of the best movies I've ever seen "...and two of them..." this passage alone is the best dialogue I've heard in years)
* Trumbo
* When Night Is Falling (again from Canada, how come they make such good movies?)
* The Wrestler
* Barfly (watch Mickey Rourke here and then in The Wrestler, what a transformation, not a good one, just amazing)
* Gangs of Wasseypur (1 and 2)
* Well Done, Abba (want to know the absurdity of living in India, watch this, Swift couldn't have written this better)
* The Siege (prophetic for its time)

Another shortened list. However, I read. I hope you do as well. Doesn't matter what, just that you have the curiosity to want to know. Cereal boxes do count.

* Almost anything I can find from Tagore to Amullya Malladi (if you are Indian, I encourage you to read either Mango Season or Serving Crazy With Curry, they WILL resonate better than The Namesake, which, let's face it, if you're Indian EVERYONE expects that you've read it and wants your opinion)
* Rohinton Mistry
* Chinua Achebe (absolutely anything by this amazing writer)
* Douglas Adams (I miss him, he was a good friend)
* Don Winslow (so grateful he wrote a sequel to the Power of the Dog)
* Roger Zelazney (Lord of Light, take the Gita, rewrite it as a science fiction novel, really?)
A lot more, ask, we can talk about it.

50 Shades of Gray put me to sleep. Reality is so much better.

The list is longer than this. In all things, I strive to watch and read things that move me.

* The Wire (poor Snotboogie)
* Show Me a Hero (make by the same guy as The Wire). If you've never heard of what happened in Yonkers about low-income housing, this will be eye-opening that this could happen in "NY"
* Little Mosque on the Prairie (from CBC, trust me, if you can find this, it's worth it)
* You, Me, Her (best line, "Oh, yeah, that's what makes this creepy")

Again, ask, I'm sure there's more to this list that we can compare.

A shorter list than was here previously. I'll listen to anything and will probably listen to it a second time.

* Barfi - Main Kya Karoon (I can sing that all day long)
* Michael Franks
* Plastique Bertrand
* Khaled (NOT DJ Khaled, I heard this was just co-opted)
* Cheb Mami
* Carly Simon (Itsy Bitsy Spider gets me every time)
* Little River Band (Reminiscing, seriously, what a song from the 80s)
* Tom Waits (man, that voice is mesmerizing)
* Lily Allen (swan song for anyone who has something to say to an ex, and not in a nice way from "It's not me, it's you")
* Joan Osborne
* Jazz Loft project (
* Talking Heads, "This must be the place" (Naive version)

Food: I practice the point-and-pray method of eating. What did you have in mind? I have no allergies or dislikes. Food is not fuel, it's to be enjoyed and shared.

Knowing everything is made better with Maggi sauce.
The six things I could never do without
* My daughter (decidedly not a thing for those semantic types out there, perhaps the junior editor will someday fix the "things" to something a bit more forgiving)
* Humor PLEASE know how to laugh, don't worry about telling a joke, but at least crack yourself up telling one even if it's a bad joke. Just not one at the expense of someone else's feelings
* empathy
* Intellect
* Books (all of them), I DO want to know what you've been reading and why you find it interesting
* Pen or pencil, or whatever is available (for crosswords as well), hell, I've been known to use crayon in a pinch
* Paper
* My ability to count.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Holding my daughter's hands (these days, when she lets me, 12 is a complicated age). Amazes me how beautiful and completely mesmerizing they are.

How memories are never what they were once you remember them.

How come more people don't know the smell of Chandrika?

How come people stand in the subway doors or push their way on as soon as they open? Why don't people take off their backpacks when they get on the train? Yes, I'm that guy, he stands aside, takes off his bag, and offers you his seat.

How to teach my daughter to have manners even when others don't.

Wondering why sports and music stars get more respect than academics? Having a daughter, this is very relevant that kids are expected to "stay in school" but sold on the idea of a quick fortune by their idols. I think we need better idols.

When did people start saying "sorry" for everything? I thought, if you do something unintentionally, you say, "excuse me". If you do something on purpose to someone else and want to express regret for causing them harm, you say, "I'm sorry". Yet, all I hear no matter what the situation, is, "sorry" for everything. The apology loses its power. Have we forgotten what heartfelt regret means and just apologize regardless of the slight, intentional or not?

How is a cassoulet any different than fancy disco fries?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Why do so many people have homonym issues? They're right there for anyone to see, not mine, theirs.

Why do the instructions on a package of Ginsu knives say, "Keep out of children"?

When did corny become passe?

The lyric, Didn't give you minutes, not even moments..

Since I'm on lyrics, how come we don't know this to be absolutely true without someone having written it down, Oh, but to shine like Joan of Arc, you must be prepared to burn?

Love letters never sent. Heartfelt emotions that mean the world when written that are never received in the same vein. Things left unsaid as most people die faster than it takes to turn over a pancake.

How amazing the sound is a child's laugh, and how irrepressibly infectious it is.

How come, that when we think of flying a kite we just don't leave work and do it? I do. On a regular basis? As often as possible. Ever fly a kite in the rain? Challenging, but can be done. Or in the snow. Again, challenging, but can be done.

How absolutely under-rated knock-knock jokes are.

Knowing that a stranger is just a friend who I haven't met yet. And as corny as it sounds, putting that into action.

Why only 6 things?
On a typical Friday night I am
Morris Dancing

Otherwise, for those that don't believe in Morris Dancing anymore (it's a mystery to me how you can't):

* Writing, the same as breathing.
* Reading.
* Dancing (when the spirit moves and quite possibly the music (these days, even without the music), just wish the hips would obey and follow)). Doesn't even have to be in public, wouldn't mind someone to do it with me more often.
* Walking (one step, two steps, three steps, pretty soon, you're amazed to be 3 steps further along than when you started).
* Exploring (see walking).
* Smiling at strangers (incredible how much that works).
* Talking to tourists and finding out where they're from and what they love about the City. Finding out about them.
* Getting absolutely and completely and gloriously lost.
* Gawking skyward and hoping for a blackout so I can see the stars more clearly.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Being named "chief of the fugawees" by the Havasupai tribe I lived with a long time ago.
You should message me if
* You've read this far.
* Have a sense of humor.
* Like to talk.
* You get through the Economist, or at least pretend that you do (I can't remember the last time I have)
* You've written anything at all in your profile, not just a picture, something at all meaningful about you
* You're not a guy and catfish is not a way of life (was recently educated on this by a friend, seriously folks, have you nothing better to do?)

Your idea of this process doesn't involve emailing a few times, perhaps texting, a date, and then disappearing. What exactly is the process? I'm here to meet someone without the obfuscation and the hiding behind dead-drop emails (we're not all Aldrich Ames) and blocked phone numbers. Will only chase what I'm invited to chase. A principle I live by is, never go to a party to which I'm not invited. If you'd like to be pursued, let a fella' know you're interested.

Ever try to disprove a negative? If a guy shares information about himself, he's pushy. If he doesn't share it quickly enough, he's a player and hiding something. Some one must realize that the playing field is not level.

* You like holding hands more often than you don't
* You like kissing, regardless of the context, but only after getting to know the person
* Don't believe kissing is wrong

42 (you know what this means, or at least be curious enough to find out). This one is important.