41 Silver Spring, United States
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My self-summary
9/9/15: I'm still kind of taking a break, but I'm just starting to regain interest in connecting with new people. I'll be honest & say my threshold is set pretty high right now due to limited free time. But in theory I should start answering messages again. I say "in theory" because after catching up on my messages just now, I can say that a lot of you obviously aren't reading my list of how not to message me.

Note: I just wanted to say that I fall behind on responding to messages really easily. It may take up to a couple weeks for me to reply. In large part because I actually put thought into my messages.

Yes, I have face pics, but I'm selective about sending them.

I am non-monogamous and do have relationships of various types and intensities already in my life. Monogamy is 95% off the table for me; if it's 100% necessary for you, then we're not compatible for dating. Compromise is possible, but if we have to start in a place where I have to do all the compromising, that creates a whole other set of issues. Feel free to message me for potential friendship.

I am looking for new people in my life, but it's not my life's focus. I have a great deal of love, commitment and affection in my chosen family; I'm not filling a void, and I'm not in a hurry. I don't do the online chat thing much if at all, so if I'm interested, I'm much more likely to try to find a time to meet you for coffee or a drink.

OkCupid keeps matching me with people I already know, so I do feel like its system must work.

Note: I am interested in casual sex, but I took it off my list of "looking for" because too many people are clearly just writing to everyone who has that listed.

Just because I am interested in casual sex does not mean I am indiscriminate. I still want to know something about you. Being interested in casual sex is not enough of a common interest to get me interested in you. I have to actually like you enough to have sex with you, so say something interesting.

Being interested in casual sex also does not mean I am *not* interested in anything else.
What I’m doing with my life
A lot. Things are pretty busy right now.

Work, family (biological & chosen), fun, and more work.

I'm a big nerd: comic books, documentaries, Star Trek, etc. except I'm not much of a gamer.

I write a lot.
The first things people usually notice about me
Apparently, my smile... which you can't see here.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Off the top of my head..

Books: The Hunger Games, Beloved
Movies: The Avengers, Reservoir Dogs, Clue
Shows: Anything by Joss Whedon or Aaron Sorkin (well, almost anything. I've fallen behind on all the recent stuff. ) Avatar: The Last Airbender
Music: Guster, The Police, Adele, Ben Folds Five, Janelle Monae
Food: Indian, Mexican, Italian, Greek
The six things I could never do without
Based on my mood at the moment:

My phone. (Because it is how I find everything.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My partners.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging out with my friends, having a play date, or at a party.
You should message me if
You're kinky, queer, and/or poly and looking to expand your social circle... and have something to say. Making an effort on grammar, spelling and punctuation is also appreciated.

If we have match & friend percentages of less than 80%, you also might want to tell me why you're writing (e.g. we have some particular interest in common or you liked my answer to a particular question.)

If your listed location is not local to me, I am not likely to answer you unless you are frequently in my area. So you should let me know if that's the case.

I hate that I feel compelled to put a series of disclaimers on my profile, but I just waded through a crapton of sucky messages, so here goes:
*One word messages - deleted.
*Messages only containing an emoticon - deleted.
*Messages that call me kitten, princess, or any other cutsey nickname without us having had any conversation - probably deleted.
*Messages that say nothing except how I fit a particular fetish of yours - deleted.
*Messages containing the word Nubian - promptly deleted
*Messages leading with "I've never had sex with a black girl" - definitely deleted.
*Messages written as though someone is charging you per punctuation mark - not necessarily deleted, but gets serious eye rolls.
*Messages written as though someone is paying you per punctuation mark - see above.
*Messages from people not local to me or with lower than an 80% match rate, with no information about why I should ignore those facts - probably deleted.
*Messages about how you're in town for the weekend and would like to hook up - not necessarily deleted, but probably.

Also, I am not a submissive. Seriously, stop asking. Top-leaning switch, if you must know.