56Columbus, United States
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My self-summary
UPDATE 2015 Still here , Still not stupid
To spam trolls using cat and taco in your names , Yes it is as obvious as you think it is .
To Trine Day trolls , Yes you are just as obvious .

2014 UPDATE To all the profiles from Indiana , West Virginia , Texas , California and additional locations 100s to 1000s of miles away from mine.
I know WHO you are and I know WHY you are here .
Try harder boys.
To all the fake profiles and teen traps and honey traps , I know that game too .
To all those who view my profile multiple times and send messages only to delete their fake profiles in an hour ...
Seriously?? Did you flunk out of spy school or just coast through on Daddy's money?

UPDATE I Started this profile 4 years ago during my separation, I was at that time seeking my peers. My divorce has been final a year. I am still NOT seeking to share my valuable time with married cheaters, selfish assholes or basic liars. My screening process for conversation is intense and extensive the screening process for playing naked is not at all for the timid and there are no shortcuts.
I do not require friends or lovers or relationships and I am completely content.
I do not require free counseling ,validation nor your opinions regarding my personality or your assistance in how to better write my profile to attract attention .
This site is known and always has been known as the Facebook of Dating not the Facebook of Fucking.
Simply because the internet is full of basic porn and allows the outlet to entertain our basic urges and take shortcuts does not mean that is its purpose.
This was created as a dating site and a site to make friendships NOT primarily to mingle body parts.
This is not Adult Friend Finder , There are many sites online to find zipless fucks and catch meaningful STDs
They are designed and advertised as tools to hook up.
This site is for people that wish to meet on a deeper level or form friendships on a deeper level beyond their goodie bits.
It is not fair for AFF people or porn to hog the internet. Everyone has enough space and it is rude to attempt to change this one to suit your desires.
Do not imagine you have the balls or the rights to express in a message that I owe you my attention in any way because this profile remains here or because I am active on other profiles online.
If it wanders across your mind to write to me , Sit back a moment and think first if that is truly your wish to draw my attention.
And to the multiple trolls. I know who you are and why you are looking.
The remainder of the original profile remains the same.

Like all of you I have been many things on my way to me....
Child, Daughter, Sister, Mother, Wife, Ex-Wife, Friend, Enemy, Artist, Sales Guru,Student, Teacher, Dancing Chicken, Wandering Lost Soul, Bad Karaoke singer, Lover, Someones sin, Someones hope, Someones dread, New Wife, Step-Mom and now soon to be 2nd time Divorcee...and the list grows on and on ...
I think I have arrived at my final destination of Crazy lady on the Corner. I don't really have my own corner I would be Crazy Lady on the Subway but we don't have those here. In the meantime I will try and find a corner and confine myself to it so I don't bother everyone over much.

I am Creative, Engaging, and Stubborn

It has been brought to my attention that the following post regarding my bisexuality takes up a large part of my profile it has also been brought to my attention that very few here actually read so this post makes no real difference and I am just blowing smoke up my own ass.
For the record my post has been here 8 months without the added explanation of my sexuality.
In that brief time
I have had to suffer daily questions with regard to it from
Couples looking for playmates ,
Bicurious newbees,
Various young men looking for an education they assume an older more experienced woman would provide,
Married men who think all women are merely means to an end for their personal pleasure,
Single men who think all women are merely means to an end for their personal pleasure,
Bisexual men looking for understanding,
Crossdressers looking for non judgment,
Straight women who fear that I will attack them while at the same time fearing I will not be attracted to them,
Straight men who fear I know more about women and view sites like this as their own stomping ground. I may illustrate their lack of attention to personal growth thus limiting their choices so they need to knock me down a peg or two these are particularly vile and aggressive,
Gay women who post they only want strictly Gay women not Bi not Straight,
Submissives looking for Doms ,
Doms looking for Submissives
I have answered all their questions openly , patiently and politely with customary grace though internally I wished to run amok with an ax ala Joan Crawford circa Straight Jacket 1964.

The most important part of the post seems to have escaped each and every one and that is simply this.. in all caps maybe

Note to the unenlightened...
I list myself as Bisexual simply because it is who I am and who I have been from a very young age.
I am out and open to my family , friends and the most important humans to me my two amazing sons who responded when told with "Gee Mom tell us something we don't know" .
This told me two things I did something right with them and It is simply another part of who I am.
I do not list it here to entice or tempt or be all edgy.
It does not mean I am not selective or that anyone has a chance.
It does not mean I am Tasmanian Devil from Loony Tunes without sexual self control.
It is simply one other part of me, please don't assume it has anything to do with you and we wont have any problems.

....and now I cease to be polite and commence the running of the amok with an ax.
What I’m doing with my life
Breathing one breath at a time and reminding myself to keep laughing and to always find time to dance.
Learning to adapt yet again to complete and total change.

I am a freelance artist/ puppeteer/ costumed performer for various vendors/ home organizer/ event planner/ caterer/ costume designer/ make-up artist/ craftswoman...
think Bob Mackie on crack.
I always wanted to work for Jim Henson or in lieu of that be a Muppet.
So I created that for myself.
I developed and performed Elvis the Dancing Chicken for Krogers for 15 years grand opening many of the stores in central Ohio.
That led to me being Pillsbury Doughboy, Tony The Tiger, Cheetos Cheetah, M&M, Dole Banana, Tommy Rugrat etc etc... for all of the grocery chains in Columbus and local schools.
I ran the costumes for the State Fair and major conventions and buyers shows.
Currently I use them for Ren Fests and children's parties.
I’m really good at
Being a friend, Listening and finding the common sense in most any situation.
Useless classic film trivia,
Singing karaoke badly
Making exact replicas of the Muppets from old socks and bread dough
Replicating Elvis and Marilyn Monroe's faces from millions of tiny seed beads.
Dancing in a chicken suit.
Breathing inside parachute material while controlling 50 lb backpack batteries and balancing an 8ft bar in front of me to hold up a giant Pillsbury Doughboy costume.
Talking til I foam at the mouth and fall over
and boring everyone around me with extensive diatribes on the JFK assassination.
Researching and explaining Conspiracy Fact Vs Conspiracy Theory
Making children smile.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes.
My outfits.
My glowing personality.
How incredibly nice I am.
They wonder how I can sing Loving You and actually hit higher notes then Minnie Ripperton ( the secret is whiskey)
and that I am usually reading a book or hand-beading Elvis faces in the oddest of places or that I am the only one dancing in the room.

(note..The glowing personality and incredibly nice part up there was added when a friend edited my profile please do not hold me to that if you are being a total ass in IMs.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Motown, jazz or 70s rock; I can dance to anything but it has to have a melody and actual LYRICS.
Pasta and wacky sauces that I make up as I go along.
I plan to eventually watch every movie ever made so I can't pick just one, though I will admit to a current weakness for anything with Colin Firth in it at the moment.
Likewise for most books but I do collect fairy tales and folk tales and mythology and obviously anything related to the political assassinations of the 60s.
Six things I could never do without
My eyesight
My sarcasm and sense of humor
My Dignity
My relationship with my sons
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The meaning of it all and my EXACT place in it.
The path to TRUE BLISS.
JFK JFK JFK CIA Shenanigans More JFK The Military Industrial Complex more JFK a little RFK but that was so obvious it insults all of our intelligence so it doesn't really take up all that much time.
...and where is that mother ship???
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading or discussing in a forum or posting links or researching.
Singing karaoke all around town.
Wandering my avatar through Second Life
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My life is an open book you just have to have the courage to ask and be as forthcoming in return.
You should message me if
You want to get to know someone outside the box; if you're looking for normal ....scamper on there is nothing close to that to see here.
You know yourself completely and no longer need anyone else's help finding you but simply want to share you.
You see the extraordinary possibilities.......
You read my profile completely and understand the stubborn part and if you didn't then go back and reread it, then go look up the word stubborn; once you are completely comfortable with that then message away.
And a note to the married guys...
If you're married and want to use me or anyone else to hurt the woman you once made promises to and you're now not willing to be man enough to keep those promises or ethical enough to free her to find someone that would see her completely and value her as she deserves then you can scamper on as well.
...and I suggest you scamper quickly
The two of us