49San Francisco, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a loving, responsible, experienced dominant gentleman, both sexually & romantically.

I'm seeking an intelligent, imaginative, charming, talented, graceful, lovely, submissive gal, for a long-term, monogamous, kinky relationship. And I need her to love partner dancing, or have experience with other dance forms and want to learn partnering.

If you like what you read, write me! If I can't tell from your profile text or Questionnaire that you'd be interested, I'd hesitate to write you.

I'm 6'1, trim, athletic, anglo, and objectively handsome (sea-gray eyes & short brown hair). I'm young for my age, in appearance and energy. You'll have to take my word for it at the moment... I promise you better pics if we hit it off in email!

A relationship in which the partners have agreed to dominant and submissive roles allows a very deep intimacy -- a merging of the two. It's not for everyone, certainly -- most men wouldn't shoulder the responsibility, and most women wouldn't surrender their autonomy (or vice versa). But a surprising number of people fantasize about this style of relationship, and if you can't get that vision out of your mind's eye, it may be that you are naturally suited to this romantic dynamic.

I'm a devoted partner; I seek to know my girl inside and out; to guide her towards her own greatest good, as well as into a deep, intense bond with me. Though I reserve the final say in a romance, I never exercise it for its own sake -- discussion is always crucial.

I'm pretty into kink/SM, and I wish OKC would tag me as such! :-)

I'm also deeply into cracking each other up with funny voices, foreign characters, silly walks & gestures, and other delightful tomfoolery.

I'm an East Coast native, born in Manhattan and most fond of Boston. I'm not really at home out here on the Left Coast; I'm just here for the tech startup scene.

See also fetlife...
What I’m doing with my life
I tend to focus intently on a few challenging endeavors. For example, I'm trying to change the way most knowledge professionals use computers, seriously.

And I seem to play the role of online "kink counselor" fairly often. Recently I've been recording some of the advice I commonly offer on a blog, BDSM: Things You Need to Know (

And I go to dance venues where I can do improvisational partnering twice a week. I'm an avid, athletic dancer: dips, lifts, moving into and out of the floor...
I’m really good at
Seeing the potential of the world, feeling baffled that we aren't anywhere close to it, and thinking about how to move us forward just a little bit.

Also partner dancing; deep conversation; theatrical-quality tomfoolery; sexy storytelling; going shopping with my gal; nurturing and guiding and testing same gal; and kinky, transcendent sex (aka BDSM).

And by the way... I love to critique others' work. And imagine the future. And to write, when I have a good story that wants telling.
The first things people usually notice about me
Perhaps that I'm tall, handsome, intense, and articulate... or that I'm an amazing dancer... or maybe that my smile is boyish and kind of goofy. And I'm not just full of myself; if I love you I'll be full of you, too!

After a while they might notice that I'm a critic of reality...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I read a lot of non-fiction, especially science -- it fascinates me. I voraciously read the NY Times. Hm, I can't remember the last fiction I read!

I am enthralled by nature documentaries. I also like dystopian fiction (Brazil, The Matrix), and Golden Age musicals with inspiring dance numbers (The Pirate, American In Paris, etc).

Just what are you going to learn about me by having a list of music and foods? :-)

OK, OK, I like world music -- Latin, South African, Indian, Brazilian, Mid-Eastern, Celtic. And I'm a sucker for a well-crafted, danceable pop tune.

As for foods, I trend vegetarian, but I also like victuals that once swam or flew. I mostly take a pass on mammals. (I have been known to bite mammaries now and again.)
Six things I could never do without
A vision of what the world could really be.
A Plan to make some part of that vision real.
An extremely close bond, even a merge, with my partner.
Windows on the world: news, blogs, documentaries, etc.
Hot cocoa and cashews.
Music to move by, and a wood floor to move on.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
OK, I'll come clean: S&M. As well as the above six things.
On a typical Friday night I am
How about an *ideal* Friday night?

Selecting your sexy on-the-town outfit
Discussing our livelihood intently over supper
Making you laugh over and over
Dancing with you passionately
Tying you up tightly
Making you suffer and cry
Making you come til it hurts or hurt til you come
Coming hard inside you
Cuddling up with you sweetly
Hearing you thank me profusely
Appreciating your gifts eloquently
Dozing off contentedly
Waking you up in the middle of the night and "raping" you roughly
Then holding you closely and...
stroking your head on my shoulder as you drift back to sleep
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Did I mention S&M? Dominance and submission? How much more private do you expect me to get!

I am a christian atheist.

I don't totally *get* San Fran. It seems like the most overrated place I've ever lived. I keep hoping I'll walk blindly into a wormhole and end up at the corner of Newbury & Clarendon in Boston on a summer day...
You should message me if
You're looking for a brilliant, original, entertaining, sincere friend -- I'm a friends-first type.

You will put your Gentleman first, always. You will obey him and relish his direction and guidance. You will give him whatever he needs to feel fulfilled -- no matter how daunting, whenever he needs it.

You are petite and flexible, and want to learn to do this with me:
The two of us