31Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
IMDB rejected my proposed synopsis of Pee-wee Herman: "Flamboyant man-child talks to his furniture."

The new royal baby should be named "Heir Bud: Marma-Duke of Cambridge" in honor of his grandfather's favorite film series.

When he is a teenager and gets caught drinking underaged, the tabloid will read "Heir Bud in the Club Gettin' Tipsy"

A few weeks ago, I was listening to an episode of This American Life that was exploring coincidences. There was someone talking about how their friend would find coins in their shower that must have fallen off the skin of the bather. The friend had never heard of this happening. But on the next day, he was astonished to find that it had happened in his own shower. And then, Ira was trying trying to find other people who have this same experience and couldn't.

Not only does this happen to me frequently, but apparently there was a dude in New Zealand in the early 20th century who was arrested for vagrancy and when they cleaned him off, found coins in his beard that fell into the tub. The coincidence here -- he had the same first and last name as me, both of which are not that common. This American Life should have called in the experts.

Furthermore, I listen to Garrison Keillor almost every Saturday night while trying to figure out where my place is in a world where Mark McGrath is a cruise ship captain. Highbrow + Lowbrow = Unibrow I guess?
What I’m doing with my life
Teaching US History to seventeen year olds in Brooklyn before coming home and watching The Wire or Breaking Bad or (insert Netflix documentary here). Also, I write and host trivia nights at bars in Williamsburg sometimes.
I’m really good at
Explaining things to teenagers, oddly remembering random things that I read 15 years ago, pancakes

Singing upbeat songs in a Morrissey voice.
The first things people usually notice about me
My Epidermis.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Authors: David Foster Wallace, Zadie Smith, Joan Didion, Dave Eggers, David McCullough...

Shows: Freaks and Geeks, Breaking Bad, It's Always Sunny, Arrested Development, The West Wing, The Wire, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, Mad Men, Homeland, Bob's Burgers, Archer, The League, Workaholics

Music: The Shins, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Mountain Goats, Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, Bon Iver, Postal Service, Regina Spektor, Iron and Wine, Sunny Day Real Estate, 90's nostalgic radio hits...
Six things I could never do without
Crosswords, Netflix, chairs, vulcanized rubber, pasteurization, Trivial Pursuit
I spend a lot of time thinking about
what the 2nd most (insert superlative category here) is...
On a typical Friday night I am
With my super cool friends concocting pun-ny Air Bud or Fast and Furious movie sequel titles and working on the world's longest crossword puzzle (22 ft) that is posted along my hallway.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I prefer baths in a cast iron claw foot tub.
I taught myself "Name" by Goo Goo Dolls on the guitar the other night.
You should message me if
If you can name all the presidents.
The two of us