a bit of this,
a byte of that,
a bite of you, hehehe...
& a different point of view;
some things, to me are see-through
in trying to find, "what is true?"
yet, others still
are opaque and oblique;
I bend myself around them,
I seek and I seek--
portal after portal...
I am a slipstream;
what can I channel--
what can I create? "
Greetings! Let me be blunt for a moment.
I am a poly-singleish non-monogamist human.
My intention lies in finding physical chemistry with a creative friend to go on adventures and do fun things with, be it art, music, sharing skills, consume media, etc.
I'm kinda kinky (still developing), a playful dom-switch, and I'm fluid inside and out...I dress more feminine if it suits me, when I feel safe and that varies of course, but I have come into a pretty hybridized style to let me feel like me no matter where I am :)
In many ways I can say that I am equal parts many things. In some ways this balance is great, and in some ways it is challenging.
I want to use my body as much as I use my mind, which is a bit on the extreme side apparently... so things like embodied movement, ecstatic dance, and yoga are important in my life to maintain balance. Balance is important in my life to maintain happiness. Happiness and personal joy are the medicine that I use to befriend existential dread ^_^
Primarily? I am trying to build a long, rich life. Walking a path to transcend my limits. To join the collective(s) to support a more connected and healthy civilization, through organizing a long-term plan to build a non-profit sanctuary/ institution of knowledge, and acquiring skills and experiences conducive to the above.
Secondly, as an integral sub-evolution to the Primary, I am continually challenging my sense of my gender & physical expression, integrating unreconciled memories & emotions that surface in the process. I remain fluid and non-binary, and I like this :)
Auxiliary: saving to buy an adventure-worthy set of wheels, getting a degree in something I am passionate about. Also, making awesome electronica/idm and teaching myself to play the piano. Having a feeling of being met in respect and freedom in my relationships. Being sexually satisfied. All great things that I bring into my life and connect with in opportunities to share that with others!
navigating desires, fears, hopes, dreams, choices
and constantly doubting myself unecessarily! hooraaaayyy.....!1...... its a struggle, I deal usually.
science fiction fantasy urban magic, reference/textbooks, mystic poets, metaphysics,
some favs on my shelf right now:
The Kingkiller Trilogy by Pat Rothfuss (inc.)
The Codex of Souls by Mark Teppo (inc.)
Jump 225 Trilogy by David L. Edelman
the Priscilla Hutchins series by Jack McDevitt
Larry Niven, Frank Herbert, Ursula Le Guin, Greg Bear
Keyboard Player's Chord Bible
The Essential Enneagram
various writings of Kahlil Gibran & Rumi
downtempo ambient spacefunk futuresoul
midtempo ethnobass psytrance braindance/idm
fusion jazz rock melodic/symphonic/orchestral
new-age world eastern devotional
#3 Omgnomnoms: somewhere between (a not-as-poor-as-they-used-to-be 90's kid) and (a gourmet chef)... give me all the phở, gyros, pizzas, noodly stir-frys, garLicky french fries, deep-fried PB-Js whenever possible, coconut/cinnamon everything, good veggies&roots, many many fruits, dank smoothies with lots of protein and maca...doesn't look like I eat much though, does it?? It's always been a struggle for me to eat enough to fuel my absurdly high caloric needs. I still occasionally forget to eat or simply ignore my hunger; old dying habits of suppressing myself. Developing a good relationship to food has been something that has taken me a long time to get to where I am at now. I am always open to trying new tastes and relish opportunities to learn from others who get cooking more than I do ^_^
other people's pets
my synth && all the chords
books/the Internet/really fucking good quotes & passages
healthy skepticism/my everlasting curiosity!
space, physics, sciency stuff in general
crazy existential stuff, faith, orders of consciousness, the mechanism of birth/life/death/beyond
I am sparing this box from the burden of bearing the weight of any kind of exhaustive mental inventory. Trust there is a lot going on in this noggin. Ask me Anything.
For real tho, reality check: I'm really weird. I like to enjoy myself, and I am nerdy as fuck. I might seem like a sane normal human but there are just things and ways that don't usually occur to me. I support and broadcast positive, constructive, transformative vibes.
1. Having an OKC profile helps me keep my shit together!
(No, seriously. The process of writing and forcing myself to reflect upon what I objectively and subjectively represent is one of the few ways I know of to stay coherent and observe my flux across time. So it's important to me and I make sure to do it every so often.)
2. At age 7, once I was diagnosed with ADD, I began to develop an intense mistrust of institutionalized medicine. Internally I decided to develop my own authority of mental well-being and focused on how to manage and harness my faculties.
3. It still makes me blush and turn rubbery and giggly when someone I like says I'm anything nice. Probably literally anything. I haven't tested this or whatever though. I mean it happened again so I'm pretty sure this is a thing and I am just cute so I should stop stressing it :D
And/or, you know... you just want to.