28 Ithaca, United States
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My self-summary
Updated 12/12/16.

Understanding myself through my reflections in others is my greatest bliss. I enjoy studying consciousness – particularly my own and the consciousness of those close to me.

Authenticity and integrity are my own guideposts. If your honest truth is that you have an emotional problem with short people and you're madly in love with your sister – express it. Whatever your truth is, I've lived and loved with someone crazier. The hidden parts of people are the most fascinating parts.

I cherish coming to know others deeply and to be known in return. This takes vulnerability, authenticity, compassion, and a radically accepting attitude.

I love intimacy. I love seeing others as they truly are, with their guard down. I like revealing myself and feeling accepted for my naked, true self. To be seen and to see, deeply, through the heart, is what I want from friendship, romance, love, relationships and sex.


I'm polyamorous and currently have two partners. I do not consider myself "poly saturated." In fact, I'm highly interested in finding someone new to spend time with.

My love languages are: Money and gifts; being seen and heard; feeling safe and supported; integrity and authenticity; radical acceptance; shared values and dreams.

This profile is like an analogy of me, where "me" is my ego. My ego is an analogy of my real me. My "real me" is an analogy of the universe. These statements are an analogy for the nature of the universe – expounding on each reality through another analogy.


2009: Met fallen_paladin on OKCupid. Then moved to California to live with him in 2010, and we hand-fasted.

Paladin is highly introverted, whereas I like a lot of attention, cuddling, talking, and sex. It's not in his nature to keep up with me. He really is my Paladin, and I am his Priestess.

2012 through 2015: Spent two to six months traveling each year with Paladin. Visited Kaua'i island, Florida, Maine, Vermont, Kansas, and many other states besides. Participated in permaculture internships, communities, and consciousness alchemy events.

September 2015: Fell in love with MobiusCastle and moved to Ithaca to be with him. Paladin moved in as well in January 2016. Paladin has been very much relieved since I found Castle, as Castle fulfills me in many ways that Paladin does not.

May 2016: Commitment ceremony with Castle.

Important Note

I have zero interest in a casual-sex relationship. I crave connection. Feeling understood is THE aphrodisiac for me.

Consciousness Exploration

I'm self-centered in that I'm centered and interested in my self. I am giving, in that I love to give of myself and my talents, which I do best when I center my focus around my own well-being first. I wish more people were selfish, in the sense of actually seeking the truth of themselves. (I also enjoy playing with language.)

I enjoy reinventing myself and exploring unconscious realms. I love tracing my emotions back to the first memory, the first time I felt that way.

Consciousness Alchemy (psychology, hypnosis, shadow work, etc) fascinates me.

I'm a board game designer and illustrator. It's something I do for fun, although my games do sell here and there. I grew up playing video games and board games – designing them comes naturally.

[About Polyamory]

Polyamory is loving multiple people at once, completely transparently. It is about being your full self with more than one person.

This beautiful short comic shows the different relationship types very clearly, easily and quickly (please do check it out!):

After you've looked at the above comic image . . . I believe I am somewhere between polyamory hierarchy, egalitarian polyamory and relationship anarchist. It depends on whether or not we're looking at me in practice, in emotions, or in philosophy.

[Before You Write Me]

Please read the "you should message me if..." section. If you don't qualify, your message will be deleted.
What I’m doing with my life
Lately I've been getting to know myself on a deeper level than I realized was possible. I've been using an array of emotional processing techniques that delve into established physical and emotional patterns.

Consciousness Alchemy finds the root of these patterns and allows you to see and connect with the root . . . It allows you to accept and forgive yourself in ways that self-help books, talks and documentaries have not allowed me to do. (At least, not on such a scale.)

[Things I Am Doing]

Consciousness Alchemy.
Writing my life as a novel.
Designing and publishing board games.
Establishing a new, rambling, permaculture garden.
Facilitating consciousness alchemy events.
Sewing myself organic cotton clothing.
Buying local, and eating organic.
I’m really good at
Consciousness Alchemy
Dancing with abandon
Expressing myself
Board games

If you're interested, ask me about my online diary.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably that I'm eating a huge salad.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Feel free to skip this section. I think the novels and music someone loves are more interesting after we've exchanged some messages and gotten to know each other.

Captive in the Dark & Seduced in the Dark (A Dark Erotica Duet)
Steven Brust's books, especially his "Vladimir Taltos" series
Flatland by Edwin Abbott
Karen Miller's "Kingmaker, Kingbreaker"
Naomi Novik's "Temeraire" Series
Erica Jong's "Isadora Wing" novels
Carol Berg's books, especially "Flesh & Spirit" and "Breath & Bone"
Jean Auel's "Earth Children" series
Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead"
Jo Graham's "Numinous World" series, especially "The General's Mistress" and "Hand of Isis"

"The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz
"The Hand-Sculpted House" by Ianto Evans, Michael Smith and Linda Smiley
"Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn
"The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff
"Conversations with God" (the trilogy and the books that follow) by Neale Donald Walsch
"Sugar Blues" by William Dufty
Joan Grant's "Far Memory" books, biography and "Many Lifetimes"
"The Art of Happiness" by Dr. Howard Cutler and the Dalai Lama

I stopped watching TV 2010 through 2015. Now, in June 2016 I'm experimenting with watching a few romance movies. I'm actually enjoying them to my own astonishment. They are great conversation-starters for me and my partners.

Anime Movies
Spirited Away
Howl's Moving Castle
Ghost in the Shell: Innocence
Full Metal Alchemist

I listen to music I can dance to, relate to, meditate to or have sex to. I like things ranging from Japanese music, to folk music, to gypsy punk, to modern pop, to oldies to lots of stuff.

Mostly I like good conversation.

Indian classical is the only music I can listen to for hours without becoming annoyed or depressed by the music – unless I'm dancing. I love, love dancing for hours!

Pomegranates! I love fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and all the incredibly creative things that can be done with them. I used to make gourmet specialty health foods as part of my business and lifestyle. However, now I eat more simply.

Staples in my diet in the past six months have been:

Thawed raspberries with raw goat milk.
Leafy green salads with olives, apples, flax oil, and spices
Champagne mangoes (the tart little ones)
Cranberry-apple sauce (made in my food processor)
Blueberry-acai smoothies

These are just examples – it changes with the season.
The six things I could never do without

My Six Favorite Activities

1. Talking one-on-one authentically
2. Trance dancing (no drugs)
3. Consciousness alchemy (hypnosis, C.A.T., subspace, meditation, etc)
4. Public Speaking
5. Reading, Writing & Editing
6. Ecstatic intimacy
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why aren't people selfish enough? Your world revolves around you. That's great! It should!

Taking care of your needs, getting what you want out of life and being compassionate for yourself is sexy, healthy and beautiful.

It is a lot easier to help others and be compassionate for others when you're really good at helping yourself and loving yourself.
On a typical Friday night I am
. . . meditating, facilitating consciousness alchemy, designing a board game, dancing, attending a potluck, designing my dream cob house, sewing clothing, sleeping, or reading.
You should message me if
If you want to be friends.
You don't smoke.
You're interested in authentic, vulnerable, open communication and connection.
You enjoy photography, board games, yoga, spirituality, raw veg cuisine and/or consciousness alchemy.
You're willing to meet as friends with no expectations.
You're an adaptable, growing, changing person. Particularly if you're going through a major transition in life right now.
You're aware that I'm polyamorous.
You're interested in knowing (at least as acquaintances) my two lifetime partners.
You're okay with my values, particularly my emphasis on taking really good care of one's health.
You have at least a 80% match with me.

Note: You don't need to read my anything past this point in order to know me well enough to write me a letter. :)

Board Games I've Played: Ranked
Roughly organized with games I most want to play right now (June 20th 2016) towards the top.

* = own
*** = WANT to own

Code Names***
Red 7***
Race for the Galaxy*
Lewis & Clark***
Pounce* (Standard deck of cards game)
VivaJava: The Coffee Game***
Power Grid*
Voice of Conscience: Onyx Deck*
Voice of Conscience: Ruby Deck*
Voice of Conscience: Emerald Deck*
Numinous Nonflict*
Tiny Epic Galaxies*
Glory to Rome*
Heir to the Phoenix Crown*
Carcassonne: The City*
Castles of Burgundy
Stone Age
Le Havre*
Apples to Apples*
Dominion* (I own Intrigue, Prosperity & Alchemy)
Aye, My Overlord
d0x3d! – A Network Security Game*
Sid Meier's Civilization: The Card Game*
Love Letter*
Tiny Epic Kingdoms
Decisive Desserts*
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder*
Beyond Balderdash*
Voice of Conscience: Sapphire Deck*
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder*
Priests of Ra***
Notre Dame
Through the Desert
Blue Moon City
Chicago Express
Ticket to Ride*
The End of the Triumvirate
Caylus Magna Carta*
Lost Cities
Traders of Carthage
Guggenheim* (Requires only pen & paper)
For Sale
Fantasy SG*
7 Wonders
Piece o' Cake
Diamonds Club*
Buffy the Vampire Slayer*
Starcraft: The Board Game*
Stratego LOTR*
Chinese Checkers*
Last Word*
Kanasta, Rummy, Spades, Hearts, etc, etc, etc*
Magic The Gathering
Lunch Money
Four Square
Catch Phrase
Scene It
Arkham Horror

Games I've not played but have particular interest in playing:

Terra Mystica
Sid Meier's Civilization: The Board Game
El Grande
Puerto Rico
Tigris & Euphrases
A Game of Thrones
San Juan

Games I've played and wouldn't want to play again: Risk (dice-based and dull), Monopoly (overly long and dice-based), Chess (overly long and monotonous), Cards Against Humanity (unpleasantly graphic about some of the worst things in humanity and choked full of references I don't get and don't want to get), Fortress America (too many dice, aesthetically unpleasing), Zombie Dice (dice-based), battleship (boring, mostly luck)

Note: I've played dozens more games that I don't recall the names of.

Other Notes

You can increase the accuracy of your rating with an individual by going to "the two of us" section and then going to answers "she cares about" and then answering some of those that also are important to you. That can make a huge difference in just 10 questions.

Yes, I'm a raw vegetarian. I don't like to make a fuss about it. I'm not an activist, and I am not offended by meat. If I threw a hissy fit every time somebody did something bad for the planet I'd have died of a heart attack a long time ago.

My lifetime partners' profiles are here:

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi

My quizzes (made in 2009, updated 2013)
Preferences & Perspectives Quiz

How Taboo & Kinky Are You? Test (2010)

"Justice is often just rationalized revenge." ~ Me