I love authenticity and honesty, even when the honest truth is that you have an emotional problem with short people and you're madly in love with your sister. Whatever your truth is, I've lived and loved with someone crazier. The hidden parts of people are the most fascinating parts.
I've come to realize that the most important experience to me at this time in my life is coming to know others deeply and to be known in return. This takes vulnerability, authenticity, compassion, and a very accepting attitude.
I love intimacy. I love seeing others as they truly are, with their guard down. I like revealing myself and feeling accepted for my naked, true self. To be seen and to see, deeply, through the heart, is what I want from friendship, romance, love, relationships and sex.
I'm polyamorous and currently have two partners. I do not consider myself "poly saturated." In fact, I'm becoming quite interested in finding someone new to spend time with.
This profile is like an analogy of me, where "me" is my ego. My ego is an analogy of my real me. My "real me" is an analogy of the universe. These statements are an analogy for the nature of the universe – expounding on each reality through another analogy.
Over the course of 2015 I traveled four months out of the year, made many new friends, visited several different eco-centered communities and fell very much in love. I moved from Buffalo to Ithaca to be with my new love, and my husband moved in as well.
I've been with fallen_paladin for six years. He's highly introverted, whereas I like a lot of attention, cuddling, talking, and sex. It's not in his nature to keep up with me. He really is my Paladin, and I am his Priestess.
It has been a huge relief to the strain of my relationship with fallen_paladin, as well as an exciting adventure to me to now be in love again and living with my new husband, MobiusCastle. (Our commitment ceremony was May 2016.)
I have zero interest in a casual-sex relationship. I crave connection. Feeling understood is THE aphrodisiac for me.
I'm self-centered in that I'm centered and interested in my self. I am giving, in that I love to give of myself and my talents, which I do best when I center my focus around my own well-being first. I wish more people were selfish, in the sense of actually seeking the truth of themselves. (I also enjoy playing with language.)
I enjoy reinventing myself and exploring unconscious realms. I love tracing my emotions back to the first memory, the first time I felt that way.
Consciousness Alchemy (psychology, hypnosis, shadow work, etc) fascinates me.
I'm a board game designer and illustrator. It's something I do for fun. I grew up playing video games and board games – designing them comes naturally.
Polyamory is loving multiple people at once, completely transparently. It is about being your full self with more than one person.
This beautiful short comic shows the different relationship types very clearly, easily and quickly (please do check it out!): http://i.imgur.com/xPacZwN.jpg
After you've looked at the above comic image . . . I believe I am somewhere between polyamory hierarchy, egalitarian polyamory and relationship anarchist. It depends on whether or not we're looking at me in practice, in emotions, or in philosophy.
[Before You Write Me]
Please read the "you should message me if..." section. If you don't qualify, your message will be deleted.
Consciousness Alchemy finds the root of these patterns and allows you to see and connect with the root . . . It allows you to accept and forgive yourself in ways that self-help books, talks and documentaries have not allowed me to do. (At least, not on such a scale.)
[Things I Am Doing]
Writing my life as a novel.
Designing and publishing board games.
Establishing a new, rambling, permaculture garden.
Facilitating consciousness alchemy events.
Sewing myself organic cotton clothing.
Buying local, and eating organic.
Dancing with abandon
Why I Like Board Games So Much
I get asked about this a lot. I found a great video on youtube that says exactly all that I want to say on the topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRf5e2nsOWI
If you're interested, ask me about my online diary.
Captive in the Dark & Seduced in the Dark (A Dark Erotica Duet)
Steven Brust's books, especially his "Vladimir Taltos" series
Flatland by Edwin Abbott
Karen Miller's "Kingmaker, Kingbreaker"
Naomi Novik's "Temeraire" Series
Erica Jong's "Isadora Wing" novels
Carol Berg's books, especially "Flesh & Spirit" and "Breath & Bone"
Jean Auel's "Earth Children" series
Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead"
Jo Graham's "Numinous World" series, especially "The General's Mistress" and "Hand of Isis"
NON-FICTION / EYE-OPENING DIALOGUES
"The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz
"The Hand-Sculpted House" by Ianto Evans, Michael Smith and Linda Smiley
"Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn
"The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff
"Conversations with God" (the trilogy and the books that follow) by Neale Donald Walsch
"Sugar Blues" by William Dufty
Joan Grant's "Far Memory" books, biography and "Many Lifetimes"
"The Art of Happiness" by Dr. Howard Cutler and the Dalai Lama
MOVIES / SHOWS
I stopped watching TV 2010 through 2015. Now, in June 2016 I'm experimenting with watching a few romance movies. I'm actually enjoying them to my own astonishment. They are great conversation-starters for me and my partners.
Howl's Moving Castle
Ghost in the Shell: Innocence
Full Metal Alchemist
I listen to music I can dance to, relate to, meditate to or have sex to. I like things ranging from Japanese music, to folk music, to gypsy punk, to modern pop, to oldies to lots of stuff.
Mostly I like good conversation.
Indian classical is the only music I can listen to for hours without becoming annoyed or depressed by the music – unless I'm dancing. I love, love dancing for hours!
Pomegranates! I love fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and all the incredibly creative things that can be done with them. I used to make gourmet specialty health foods as part of my business and lifestyle. However, now I eat more simply.
Staples in my diet in the past six months have been:
Thawed raspberries with raw goat milk.
Leafy green salads with dried raw olives, apples, flax oil, and spices
Champagne mangoes (the tart little ones)
Cranberry-apple sauce (made in my food processor)
These are just examples – it changes with the season.
My Six Favorite Activities
1. Talking one-on-one authentically
2. Trance dancing (no drugs)
3. Consciousness alchemy (hypnosis, C.A.T., subspace, meditation, etc)
4. Public Speaking
5. Reading, Writing & Editing
6. Ecstatic intimacy
Taking care of your needs, getting what you want out of life and being compassionate for yourself is sexy, healthy and beautiful.
It is a lot easier to help others and be compassionate for others when you're really good at helping yourself and loving yourself.
You don't smoke.
You're interested in authentic, vulnerable, open communication and connection.
You enjoy photography, board games, yoga, spirituality, raw veg cuisine and/or consciousness alchemy.
You're willing to meet as friends with no expectations.
You're an adaptable, growing, changing person. Particularly if you're going through a major transition in life right now.
You're aware that I'm polyamorous.
You're interested in knowing (at least as acquaintances) my two lifetime partners.
You're okay with my values, particularly my emphasis on taking really good care of one's health.
You have at least a 80% match with me.
Note: You don't need to read my anything past this point in order to know me well enough to write me a letter. :)
Board Games I've Played: Ranked
Roughly organized with games I most want to play right now (June 20th 2016) towards the top.
* = own
*** = WANT to own
Race for the Galaxy*
Lewis & Clark***
Pounce* (Standard deck of cards game)
VivaJava: The Coffee Game***
Voice of Conscience: Onyx Deck*
Voice of Conscience: Ruby Deck*
Voice of Conscience: Emerald Deck*
Tiny Epic Galaxies*
Glory to Rome*
Heir to the Phoenix Crown*
Carcassonne: The City*
Castles of Burgundy
Apples to Apples*
Dominion* (I own Intrigue, Prosperity & Alchemy)
Aye, My Overlord
d0x3d! – A Network Security Game*
Sid Meier's Civilization: The Card Game*
Tiny Epic Kingdoms
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder*
Voice of Conscience: Sapphire Deck*
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder*
Priests of Ra***
Through the Desert
Blue Moon City
Ticket to Ride*
The End of the Triumvirate
Caylus Magna Carta*
Traders of Carthage
Guggenheim* (Requires only pen & paper)
Piece o' Cake
Buffy the Vampire Slayer*
Starcraft: The Board Game*
Kanasta, Rummy, Spades, Hearts, etc, etc, etc*
Magic The Gathering
Games I've not played but have particular interest in playing:
Sid Meier's Civilization: The Board Game
Tigris & Euphrases
A Game of Thrones
Games I've played and wouldn't want to play again: Risk (dice-based and dull), Monopoly (overly long and dice-based), Chess (overly long and monotonous), Cards Against Humanity (unpleasantly graphic about some of the worst things in humanity and choked full of references I don't get and don't want to get), Fortress America (too many dice, aesthetically unpleasing), Zombie Dice (dice-based), battleship (boring, mostly luck)
Note: I've played dozens more games that I don't recall the names of.
You can increase the accuracy of your rating with an individual by going to "the two of us" section and then going to answers "she cares about" and then answering some of those that also are important to you. That can make a huge difference in just 10 questions.
Yes, I'm a raw vegetarian. I don't like to make a fuss about it. I'm not an activist, and I am not offended by meat. If I threw a hissy fit every time somebody did something bad for the planet I'd have died of a heart attack a long time ago.
My lifetime partners' profiles are here:
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi
My quizzes (made in 2009, updated 2013)
Preferences & Perspectives Quiz
How Taboo & Kinky Are You? Test (2010)
"Justice is often just rationalized revenge." ~ Me