28Ithaca, United States
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My self-summary
Updated 3/2/17.

Consciousness Exploration

I'm self-centered in that I'm centered and interested in my self. I am giving, in that I love to give of myself and my talents, which I do best when I center my focus around my own well-being first. I wish more people were selfish, in the sense of actually seeking the truth of themselves.

I enjoy playing with language. My work – excuse me, my play – as an author is telepathy: transferring experiences from my mind to yours. Conscious creation and conscious exploration.

I enjoy reinventing myself and exploring unconscious realms. I love tracing my emotions back to the first memory, the first time I felt that way.

Consciousness Alchemy (psychology, hypnosis, shadow work, etc) fascinates me. In a partner, I'm primarily seeking someone who will be my companion in consciousness exploration.

Understanding myself through my reflections in a partner is bliss.

Authenticity and integrity are my own guideposts. If your honest truth is that you have an emotional problem with short people and you're madly in love with your sister – express it. Whatever your truth is, I've lived and loved with someone crazier. The hidden parts of people are the most fascinating parts.

I cherish coming to know others deeply and to be known in return. This takes vulnerability, authenticity, compassion, and a radically accepting attitude.

I love intimacy. I love seeing others as they truly are, with their guard down. I like revealing myself and feeling accepted for my naked, true self. To be seen and to see, deeply, through the heart, is what I want from friendship, romance, love, relationships and sex.

[Relationship Status]

I'm polyamorous and currently have two partners. I do not consider myself "poly saturated." In fact, I'm highly interested in finding someone new to spend time with.

[Important Note]

I have zero interest in a casual-sex relationship. I crave connection. Feeling understood is THE aphrodisiac for me.

[My Love Languages]

1. Spiritual connection that can be felt, intellectually perceived, and explored
2. Feeling genuinely seen, heard, and radically accepted for who I am
3. Feeling safe and supported through authentic communication and actions backed by integrity
4. Money and gifts
5. Shared values and dreams

[Nom On This]

This profile is like an analogy of me, where "me" is my ego. My ego is an analogy of my real me. My "real me" is an analogy of the universe. These statements are an analogy for the nature of the universe – expounding on each reality through another analogy.


2009: Met fallen_paladin on OKCupid. Then moved to California to live with him in 2010, and we hand-fasted.

Paladin is highly introverted, whereas I like a lot of attention, cuddling, talking, and sex. It's not in his nature to keep up with me. He really is my Paladin, and I am his Priestess.

2012 through 2015: Spent two to six months traveling each year with Paladin. Visited Kaua'i island, Florida, Maine, Vermont, Kansas, and many other states besides. Participated in permaculture internships, communities, and consciousness alchemy events.

September 2015: Fell in love with MobiusCastle and moved to Ithaca to be with him. Paladin moved in as well in January 2016. Paladin has been very much relieved since I found Castle, as Castle fulfills me in many ways that Paladin does not.

May 2016: Commitment ceremony with Castle.

[My Work]

I lead consciousness retreats.

I'm writing the complete truth of my life as a series of novels.

I'm a board game designer and illustrator.

[About Polyamory]

Polyamory is loving multiple people at once, completely transparently. It is about being your full self with more than one person.

This beautiful short comic shows the different relationship types very clearly, easily and quickly (please do check it out!):

After you've looked at the above comic image . . . I believe I am somewhere between polyamory hierarchy, egalitarian polyamory and relationship anarchist. It depends on whether or not we're looking at me in practice, in emotions, or in philosophy.

[Before You Write Me]

Please read the "you should message me if..." section.
What I’m doing with my life
Striving toward losing my mind in the hopes of re-minding myself where the home of my heart truly resides.

Seeking insight through inward sight – in-sight.

Finding all the members of my internal committee of self and re-membering them.

I've been using an array of emotional processing techniques that delve into established physical and emotional patterns.

Consciousness Alchemy finds the root of these patterns and allows you to see and connect with the root . . . It allows you to accept and forgive yourself in ways that self-help books, talks and documentaries have not allowed me to do. (At least, not on such a scale.)

[Things I Am Doing]

Consciousness Alchemy.
Writing my life as a novel.
Designing and publishing board games.
Establishing a new, rambling, permaculture garden.
Facilitating consciousness alchemy events.
Sewing myself organic cotton clothing.
Buying local, and eating organic.
I’m really good at
Consciousness Alchemy
Dancing with abandon
Expressing myself
Board games

If you're interested, ask me about my online diary.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably that I'm eating a huge salad.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Feel free to skip this section. I think the novels and music someone loves are more interesting after we've exchanged some messages and gotten to know each other.

Captive in the Dark & Seduced in the Dark (A Dark Erotica Duet)
Steven Brust's books, especially his "Vladimir Taltos" series
Flatland by Edwin Abbott
Karen Miller's "Kingmaker, Kingbreaker"
Naomi Novik's "Temeraire" Series
Erica Jong's "Isadora Wing" novels
Carol Berg's books, especially "Flesh & Spirit" and "Breath & Bone"
Jean Auel's "Earth Children" series
Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead"
Jo Graham's "Numinous World" series, especially "The General's Mistress" and "Hand of Isis"

"Initiation" by Elisabeth Haich
"The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz
"The Hand-Sculpted House" by Ianto Evans, Michael Smith and Linda Smiley
"Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn
"The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff
"Conversations with God" (the trilogy and the books that follow) by Neale Donald Walsch
"Sugar Blues" by William Dufty
Joan Grant's "Far Memory" books, biography and "Many Lifetimes"
"The Art of Happiness" by Dr. Howard Cutler and the Dalai Lama

I stopped watching TV 2010 through 2015. In 2016 I enjoyed a few romance movies. No movies/shows thus far in 2017.

For each that I follow, I've included a link to one of my favorite videos of theirs. This list in somewhat ordered with those most important to me at the top.

Teal Swan,
Alan Watts,
Ted Talks,
Markus Rothkranz,
Lindsey Stirling,

Spirited Away
Howl's Moving Castle
Ghost in the Shell: Innocence
Full Metal Alchemist
Death Note

I listen to music I can dance to, relate to, meditate to or have sex to. I like things ranging from Japanese music, to folk music, to gypsy punk, to modern pop, to oldies to lots of stuff.

Mostly I like good conversation. Or quiet introspection.

Indian classical is the only music I can listen to for hours without becoming annoyed or depressed by the music – unless I'm dancing. I dance for hours!

Pomegranates! I love fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and all the incredibly creative things that can be done with them. I used to make gourmet specialty health foods as part of my business and lifestyle. Usually I eat very simply, spending eight to fifteen minutes preparing a meal.

Staples in my diet in the past six months have been:

Leafy green salads with olives, apples, flax oil, and spices
Kale chips (home made, dehydrated at 110ºF)
Cranberry-apple sauce (made in my food processor)
Blueberry-acai-mango smoothies
Chia-mulberry pudding

These are just examples – it changes with the season.
Six things I could never do without

My Six Favorite Activities

1. Talking one-on-one authentically
2. Trance dancing (no drugs)
3. Consciousness alchemy (hypnosis, C.A.T., subspace, meditation, etc)
4. Public Speaking
5. Reading, Writing & Editing
6. Ecstatic intimacy
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why aren't people selfish enough? Your world revolves around you. That's great! It should!

Taking care of your needs, getting what you want out of life and being compassionate for yourself is sexy, healthy and beautiful.

It is a lot easier to help others and be compassionate for others when you're really good at helping yourself and loving yourself.

If you do not go within, you go without.
On a typical Friday night I am
. . . bending gauge-18 copper, meditating, facilitating consciousness alchemy, designing a board game, dancing, attending a potluck, designing an off-grid dream cob house, sewing clothing, sleeping, making love, or reading.
You should message me if
If you want to be a spiritual explorations companion.

You don't smoke.

You're interested in authentic, vulnerable, open communication and connection.

Consciousness alchemy interests you deeply, calling to you in its many forms – yoga, neuro-linguistic programming, meditation, gratitude lists, journaling, nature (re)treats, intuitive art making, intuitive gardening, blindfolded exploration, etc.

You choose a conscious diet that is intuitively matched to your highest desires for yourself.

You're an adaptable, growing, changing person. Particularly if you're going through a major transition in life right now.

You embrace polyamory and are interested in knowing my two lifetime partners.

You have at least a 80% match with me.

The idea of driving to my place and watching Teal Swan videos together and then doing the activities she prescribes is appealing to you.

You enjoy quiet introspection.

You drink at least one quart of water daily.

You are interested in becoming my disciple and/or guru.

. . .

Note: The following is just for fun. No need to read this list if you're not a board game geek.

Board Games I've Played
Roughly organized with games I most want to play right now (March 2017) towards the top.

* = own
*** = WANT to own

Code Names*
Zendo (a Looney Pyramids game)*
Race for the Galaxy*
Lewis & Clark***
Pounce* (Standard deck of cards game)
VivaJava: The Coffee Game***
Other Temperate Fruits*
Voice of Conscience: Onyx Deck*
Voice of Conscience: Ruby Deck*
Voice of Conscience: Emerald Deck*
Heir to the Phoenix Crown*
Terra Mystica***
Red 7***
Power Grid*
Numinous Nonflict*
Tiny Epic Galaxies*
Glory to Rome*
Carcassonne: The City*
Castles of Burgundy
Stone Age
Le Havre
Apples to Apples*
Dominion* (I own Intrigue, Prosperity & Alchemy)
Aye, My Overlord
d0x3d! – A Network Security Game*
Sid Meier's Civilization: The Card Game*
Beyond Balderdash*
Tiny Epic Kingdoms
Decisive Desserts*
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder*
Voice of Conscience: Sapphire Deck*
Uprising: A Kingdom Torn Asunder*
Priests of Ra***
Notre Dame
Through the Desert
Blue Moon City
Love Letter*
Chicago Express
Ticket to Ride*
The End of the Triumvirate
Caylus Magna Carta*
Lost Cities
Traders of Carthage
Guggenheim* (Requires only pen & paper)
For Sale
Fantasy SG*
7 Wonders
Piece o' Cake
Diamonds Club*
Buffy the Vampire Slayer*
Starcraft: The Board Game*
Stratego LOTR*
Chinese Checkers*
Last Word*
Kanasta, Rummy, Spades, Hearts, etc, etc, etc*
Magic The Gathering
Lunch Money
Four Square
Catch Phrase
Scene It
Arkham Horror

Games I've not played but have particular interest in playing:

Sid Meier's Civilization: The Board Game
El Grande
Puerto Rico
Tigris & Euphrases
A Game of Thrones
San Juan

Games I've played and wouldn't want to play again: Risk (dice-based and dull), Monopoly (overly long and dice-based), Chess (overly long and monotonous), Cards Against Humanity (unpleasantly graphic about some of the worst things in humanity and choked full of references I don't get and don't want to get), Fortress America (too many dice, aesthetically unpleasing), Zombie Dice (dice-based), battleship (boring, mostly luck)

Note: I've played dozens more games that I don't recall the names of.

Other Notes

You can increase the accuracy of your rating with an individual by going to "the two of us" section and then going to answers "she cares about" and then answering some of those that also are important to you. That can make a huge difference in just 10 questions.

Yes, I'm a raw vegetarian (usually vegan). I don't like to make a fuss about it. I'm not an activist, and I am not offended by meat. If I threw a hissy fit every time somebody did something bad for the planet I'd have died of a heart attack a long time ago.

My lifetime partners' profiles are here:

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi

My quizzes (made in 2009, updated 2013)
Preferences & Perspectives Quiz

How Taboo & Kinky Are You? Test (2010)

"Today's justice is often just rationalized revenge." ~ Me
The two of us