31 Calgary, Canada
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My self-summary
I'd love to get messages, but I'm too shy to start off a conversation. So if you think I'm cute, say hi. I'm easy. (..not like -that-, obviously.) I've been rejected/ignored, so I tend to be too nervous to say hi to anyone anymore. If you see that I've lurked on your page, and you think "Well, hey, she sounds mildly amusing!", feel free to say hello. It's very rare that I won't reply, even if it's more wondering why someone so much cuter than me is saying hello to me.

However, I still don't want to join you and your husband/boyfriend in a threesome. That still stands. If you have a penis, awesome, but I don't want it in me or on me. I'm a one-woman girl, so while I appreciate polyamorous or open relationships, they're not my thing. I've also recently come out as asexual. It's something I'm still figuring out but it's nice to put a name to the emotions.

I'm a big girl who's trying hard to work on changing that. I've gone down a few sizes already and I'm going to keep going. Openly gay, other than a few people at work who don't know, but I don't really care who knows. I miss holding hands in public.

I've just gotten out of a relationship that ended badly. She treated me like crap. So I'm looking for a girl that won't.

Also, it's come to my attention that if I were straight, I could do very well for myself on this site. Sigh.

The nickname is kind of a long-running joke, from Pushing Daisies. If you can figure it out, we should be best friends.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a floral manager with Safeway. It's a lot of work, and I might bitch about it, but oh my god, I love my job. Even the paperwork part of it. I'm anal, so doing all the paperworky kind of stuff is ...fun? Oh, dear.

I also take care of my father, who's mildly physically disabled, so he and I are very close. I live at home to take care of him, but I still have my freedom, which is important to me.
I’m really good at
cooking, floral design, making people laugh.
The first things people usually notice about me
I do have bright red hair (color of which varies depending on how long it's been since I last dyed it) so that tends to stand out.

That, and boobs. They're pretty jiggly.

I love that word. Jiggly.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
a. Anything by Nick Hornby, Dan Savage, Augusten Burroughs, David Sedaris, and Christopher Rice. The Vampire Chronicles (minus the final one) by Anne Rice. Books of random humor and/or lists. Most Stephen King books but especially the Dark Tower series. Some comics - I especially love Deadpool, X-Men, Runaways, and Watchmen.

(b) I love all kinds, from dramas to comedies, animation to documentaries, and everything in between. I'm a big Disney/Pixar fan, as well as Studio Ghibli.

Favorite directors: Quentin Tarantino (Favorite: Death Proof), Kevin Smith (Favorite: Clerks/Clerks 2), Richard Curtis (Favorite: The episode of Doctor Who he directed last series, which utterly destroyed me. You know which one I'm talking about, Love Actually), Michael Moore (Favorite: Bowling for Columbine), and Edgar Wright (Favorite: Hot Fuzz/Scott Pilgrim vs. The World)

While I love great movies, I love bad/cheesy ones too. I'm a huge MST3K nerd.

TV: I have no life, so I watch a lot. Lots of it from the UK. Because their comedy is beyond US stuff. (They can swear.)

Other: Anything Gordon Ramsay is in. He's my swearing inspiration. Survivor, Amazing Race, Masterchef Australia (..but not the others), Penn & Teller: Bullshit!, I love RuPaul's Drag Race. I love it so, so much. Oh my god. I'm also a huge Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter fangirl. So, yeah.

(c) Music: No Katy Perry. No country.

Food, Vietnamese Food, Indian food (Whoever invented the paneer pakoras should get a frigging medal), Poutine, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, Steak, donairs, soup (I make killer borscht) Sushi. Suuushi. I think I could sit there and eat edamame for hours. You want to win my heart? Take me for sushi.

(e) Comedy: Patton Oswalt and David Cross make me laugh so hard I pee a little, but I love Russell Howard, Frankie Boyle, Dylan Moran, and a ton others.
The six things I could never do without
1. My friends/family. I'm very loyal. If you want me around, I'll stick around.
2. Laptop/phone. I always thought "Pfft. What the hell do I need a smartphone for?" Now I love it. We are as one.
3. My music. I love having a soundtrack to my life.
4. My cats Ayame, Misha, Thor, Loki and Captain Jack
5. Movies. Whether it be some highbrow artsy indie
film, or a guilty pleasure. And trust me, my guilty pleasures are
as guilty as they come.
6. Popcorn. (Yes. Popcorn. It's like my
goddamn drug.)
6.5. Flowers, plants and other pretty things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Movies. Too much, in fact.

Words that sound funny when you say them a lot. Scuba. Scuuuba. It's a funny word. Say it. Scuba.

Random quotes from TV shows/movies I watch. (See above.)

Random things in general.
On a typical Friday night I am
At home, probably watching a movie, or on the computer.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I may or may not sing show tunes when I'm drunk.
You should message me if
- You don't mind hanging around with a big geek
- You match, or aspire to, my level of awesomeness
- You've got an awesome sense of humor
- You don't put more emphasis on personality than looks (I'm totally the friend who would be described as "...she's got a great sense of humor" or "... she's got an awesome personality." I really have an awesome personality.) - -- You're cool with someone who swears a lot.
-You like food, movies, music, or some combination of
the three.
- You want to hang out with someone fun.
-You're a Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter fan. Seriously. Come say hello.