32 Fairbanks, United States
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My self-summary
So, this is the part where I get to tell the internet everything it never asked. I usually end up over sharing, so this time I'll try medium sharing. Here we go...

I was born here in Fairbanks and have lived here most of my life. I lived for a year in New Mexico, but that's a story to be shared at another time. I had the opportunity to travel a lot as a child and have tried to continue it in my adult life with limited success.

I enjoy getting out and about in the summer time, primarily biking and walking Angel Rocks. I try to get out camping each year, but life has a funny way of keeping that from happening. During the winter I don't quite become a homebody, but I'm not really a fan of the ice and snow, so I tend to do more indoorsy things. I do like getting out to Chena Hot Springs at least once a winter, though (usually New Year's Eve).

I'm a part of the BDSM community here in town. While I identify as a submissive, it does not mean that I am YOUR submissive. My activity really changes with the weather, but I'm sure it's better for my mental health.

What I’m doing with my life
These are the questions that keep us awake at night. Seriously, though, what AM I doing with my life?

Currently I'm working with a non-profit organization assisting adults with developmental disabilities. I've been with it for over six years, and it's treated me as well as any other job in the human services. Sad to say, that's kind of about it.

I have loose plans to return to school someday, get something on paper that says I'm economically viable, but between my schedule and living a comfortable life, it's been difficult. I do try to live my life as an example for others. This at times has made me feel both conceited and bitter, but I'm learning humility as I grow and I hope that means I will be better equipped at handling reality.

I’m really good at
Through every permutation of these essays I have in one way or another said that I don't like this one. I still don't.

People come to me for advice, so I'm hoping that I'm actually good at that and not just sending people to their dooms. That would be awkward.

Aside from the usuals of staying up all night and procrastinating to the eleventh hour, I like to think I'm good at teaching people. I taught capoeira for about six years until I hurt my back (bulging disc, L4&5). I haven't had many opportunities to teach people since then, though people ask me to train at my job, it never seems to happen.

I'm not sure if you can really be good at being patient, but I've been told that I have a lot of it. I think it's a side-effect of the job, as I really wasn't patient growing up.

I think I'm good at comforting people. I'm always learning new ways that people respond, and I do my best to learn each person as quickly as I can. We all need someone who can comfort us in our lives, so I like to be prepared.

Oh, I'm good at losing hours playing video games. Not quite a virtue, but such is life.

The first things people usually notice about me
This question always irked me. What if I said it was my eyes and then met someone and they said to themselves "I didn't notice that chick's eyes at all, yo" (I don't know how they talk)? Apparently my eyes are NOT the first thing someone would notice about me. Irksome, yes.

Anyhoo. I've been told I watch. I've never been able to tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. When I was younger I was very much an introvert, so I would watch the way people interacted so that I knew the ways I should act so that I could fit in (I was a boring child). It's a habit I've never really gotten out of. I still think it's useful, though not for the same reasons.

I talk. A lot. If I'm in a smallish group of people, and not having an off day, I can lead conversations or pull them back on subject if need be. I like to think that I have presence while speaking, but I've never listened to myself as an outsider, so I'll never know.

I, of course, would like for people to say they notice something positive about my looks. I have a bit of vanity to me, but that, as well, is something that hasn't been readily shared with me.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books. I like books. I don't read as much as I'd like to, though. Mostly because my mind wanders and I have difficulty retaining much of what I ready. It's a shame, really. The favorites I can remember have been Ender's Game and the Shadow sub-series (Orson Scott Card). The Death Gate Cycle (Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman). Immortals (Tracy Hickman). I collect select titles from DC, not quite "books," but literature nonetheless.

Movies. Most people like movies, right? Unless they're based on books, then not so much. What Dreams May Come will always top this list. Lilo & Stitch. Sleeping Beauty. The Rock. Equilibrium. Orgazmo (if you haven't seen it, shame on you). American Beauty. Unbreakable.

Music. I like music. I have next to no musical talent, but I still enjoy it. I listen to A LOT of Pandora, so it really lets me broaden my horizons. Been listening to the Blur Öyster Cult station lately. It's been good to me. Lots of Slipknot on my iPod. Stone Sour. Marilyn Manson. P!nk. Halestorm. The Offspring. Queen. Johnny Cash. All good go-tos when I need music.

I like simple foods. Seriously. Give me pizza and burgers and I'm good to go. Loves me some pasta, too. Not a fan of seafood, though, which makes me a strange Alaskan, apparently. While there are foods that I don't particularly care for, I will eat anything that has been designated as food so long as it has been prepared and set before me. Don't want to be rude.

The six things I could never do without
I'm not going to list survivals here because that's as lazy as the designers of the essays. Ahem, six things I'd rather not do without (in no particular order).

Physical intimacy. Not necessarily sex, but just intimate touches. I had a lot of fears as a kid that I was alone (not figuratively), so touching and being touched alleviates those fears.

Socialization. I am a people person. I generally like to be around a group of close friends or having outings scheduled with people and couples. When I encounter a large number of people I don't particularly know, I tend to turn inward, but it is easily reversed by a conversation.

Internet. I can go without for decent periods of time, but I like to be connected. I have friends all over the world and the internet makes that much easier.

Books. I like e-readers well enough, but I have a hard enough time retaining information, so I need all the help I can get. Books help with that.

Mobility. I know it's a bit (really) ableist of me, but the thought of not being able to get around under my own power terrifies me. This expands past personal mobility to transportation, as well. I like to be able to see my options.

More knowledge. I like learning. If I knew everything there was to know, I think I'd be pretty lost in the world. Kind of like Stich when he spent his first night with Lilo (watch the movie). I like to call myself a "well of useless information," but it's how I keep people from thinking that I'm full of myself about the amount of knowledge I have rattling around.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
I used to spend a lot of time thinking about a lot. I'm trying to pare down on that.

When I was 14 I was pretty decent at not having my brain terribly jumbled. Then people started asking "what are you thinking" and it ruined everything. I'm working on getting back to that. For the meantime we'll say polyamory, relationships in general, scenes, money, the job... I like to think they're fairly normal things. I think about inventions and then ask myself why I never take the time to attempt a prototype. I then answer that I'm afraid to fail. Me and myself have a complicated relationship.

On a typical Friday night I am
Some sort of plan. I spend every-other-Friday night with my brother and sister-in-law and some of their friends being nerds. The other Fridays usually get filled up pretty quickly. High school never prepared me for being popular (no one ever laughs at that joke [I wasn't popular in high school], and that makes me sad).

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
"Ask and I'll tell you" is a pet peeve of mine on here. It's the same as saying "nothing" because you're obviously not putting anything. Rant over.

I like to think I'm not afraid of many things, but dementia scares the hell out of me. Ever since I saw Safe House with Patrick Stewart I've been pretty terrified (my great-grandmother having Alzheimer's didn't help). I place a lot of stock in my mental abilities and the thought of those abilities being turned against me...I try to not think about.

You should message me if
Well, preferably if you want to. That's a good enough reason for me. I'm easy.

Really, though, if you've made it this far and don't feel like messaging me (because you wouldn't skip any of my essays, would you, Reader?), then I don't think there's much hope here.

Maybe if I say "please?"


Take care and later days