online dating is hard for everyone! but if you actually want to get a response (from any woman, including me) here are quick tips: a) an initial message that refers to her profile in a specific way, so she knows you read it; b) avoiding a big copy paste in an initial message. if you wrote a good thing, put it in your profile; c) actually only responding to women who don't clearly say in their profile they are looking for someone radically different from you. let's all find a good match! it goes both ways! you should want a woman who complements you too!
Back to our regular program:
Wayyyyy more straight than most wacky folks, but more wacky than most straight folks. no one has to agree with me, but i'm tough to convince. i've been called a 'rare flower' and 'local treasure' both within the last few months. i'm generally confident in spite of the strategic risks i take, though i can be quite anxious at Times, particularly as i push myself further into a 'doing all the things while introverted' lifestyle.
i actively work to be kind. i can be playful and passionate, but peaceful is my most common mood. i'd love to hang out with someone who brings out the playful more. i'm generally satisfied with where i've arrived, and optimistic about where i'm going. i date people who don't currently live in anger or sorrow most of the time.
i'm around a lot of underground stuff - unique cool opportunities - and i'd love a partner who wants to do Some of the Things Together. i value and make time for a relationship with one beloved and caring primary partner. getting to that point takes some time.
art is my Big Thing. my main hangouts are around contemporary & modern visual art and theatre. i like music that typically isn't and mostly wasn't top 40. i can get into many genres. i like learning about music & movies from people more focused on these media. i like exploring in cities & in nature. i love walking, keeping a relaxed pace, & going with the flow. i'd love to get into cross-country skiing, kayaking or canoeing. i'm getting into comedy; i inject it into my slightly surreal art. https://youtu.be/Hm1JRHqZkNE?list=PL3L7DkhrMzdsbmAVwKFiWJdZ7CAKjTra2
close friends are 'on the straight side with a wacky streak,' or 'wacky but Very stable/high functioning.' They're not into conspiracies, nor evangelical about diet. they don't complain much about little things. i could date someone Very-Liberal to mostly moderate, but not conservative or libertarian. the 'radical left' can be difficult: i don't like blame/shame, frequent rage, or black & white thinking.
someone who can make me think. who shares rich conversations And silent times. who's empathetic, supportive, & Giving. who Doesn't Deliver Lectures all the time, but treats/talks to women generally the same way he talks to male Peers. who's Ready for a real relationship.
often quirky, Always fairly slender men (runner/tennis build, not football/stocky). never w/permanent facial hair. ie: leonard cohen, barack obama, anderson cooper, lance armstrong, david bowie.
i have a kid, but he's a grown-up. i'd prefer not to date someone with kids younger than teens, or wanting new ones.
ginger beer, hard cider, liquers, malbec
it's a wonderful life, defending your life, i <3 huckabees
WERS, WUMB, music from around the world
the little prince, sinclair lewis, edith wharton
but one way or another, always evolving. (i am not ani difranco ;) http://youtu.be/TMGJhPO0fUo
if you're the opposite of what i seek (as opposed to say, outside the edges), why waste our time? win win's are the best.
Opposites include: current/recent military/police; Stocky/ heavy build/ football player body structure, permanent facial hair; no cultural interests; >1.5 hours' drive from boston; <39; anti vaxxer, food obsessive; lifestyle S/M; children <13; conservative or libertarian
i'm not using this site for friendship building.
Monogamy & Me:
I'm looking for a primary partnership with one man, who is looking for the same. non-monogamy is not in any way incompatible with close, primary partnership relationships including marriage. Having an occasional date with someone who's not on a 'relationship ladder' path to primary partnership is not a disqualifier. Being married, or poly with a primary, is, as is being 'heavily into poly' and someone who will be constantly trolling for new relationships.