beardmonster
33Saint Petersburg, United States
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beardmonster
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My self-summary
My wallet says that I'm a "bad motherfucker", and who am I to argue with him? He has all the money.
I'm well-educated, well-traveled, and well-read, but I'm not a pretentious asshole about it. I have tattoos, a Master's degree in philosophy, 3 motorcycles, no kids, and my own imdb entry. And I always put the toilet seat back down.
I'm quite the catch.
What I’m doing with my life
I love you, baby, but you got to understand: when the lord made me, he made a ramblin' man.

My adult life involves way more peeing in cups than I ever anticipated.
I’m really good at
-making mix cd's.
-catching flies, moths, mosquitoes in mid-air with my bare hands.
-my job. I take a lot of pride in what I do.
-I make a pretty awesome peanut sauce from scratch.
-opening jars, bottles, etc.
-I make a good anchor for tug-o-war should the occasion arise.
The first things people usually notice about me
other than the fact that I'm this burly, tattooed biker?
It's probably my construction worker meets cop meets 70s dad meets adult film star mustache. Or maybe it's my boyish good looks and Brando-esque charm.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - Currently reading: Neil Gaiman's Norse Mythology, Capitalist Realism by Mark Fischer, and Driven by James Sallis.

Movies - The last two movies I saw that really blew me away were Blue Ruin and Mad Max: Fury Road. Holy shit, that movie was damn near perfect. I also love 70s exploitation trash, and I rewatch Hell Ride like once a month and pretend I'm Michael Madsen.

Shows - I don't think I've ever gone more than two or three days without watching The Simpsons.

Music - the latest batch on rotation: Mothership, Jason Isbell, The Black Angels, Nikki Lane, Strand of Oaks, Conan, Outkast, Weedeater, Ryan Adams, and Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats.

Food - All types (except pickles, olives and coleslaw). I'll try anything twice. Anything. I've eaten guinea pig (it was alright). I love to cook and I'm pretty good at it, if I do say so myself.
Six things I could never do without
motorcycles
knife
pen
lighter
phone
club soda (with lime)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
-knuckle tattoo ideas.
-what would Steve McQueen do?
-the Benny Hill theme music (yakety sax).
-space. Specifically, the vastness of the universe and how small humanity is within it.
-clever comebacks to prior conversations.
-how awesome it would be if Florida had mountains.
-butts. specifically large/round ones.
-riding my motorcycle through the desert.
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably dicking around in my garage. I've gotten really into building shit lately. Either that or out riding my motorcycle and doing hoodrat shit with my friends.

But there's a really good chance I'm in a hotel room in some small town in the middle of nowhere, getting some sleep so I can go back to work the next morning.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
As an adult, I was once on the receiving end of a "down low, too slow" from a severely developmentally disabled youngster. There's no bouncing back from that one.
You should message me if
You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me.
I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel.
More
The two of us
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