belhaven_er
30 Jackson, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
belhaven_er
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm restless. I love old movies. And Rachel Maddow. And documentaries. And bourbon. And rumple shots. And imgur. And dark nail polish. And mascara.

Still heartbroken about Jon Stewart leaving The Daily Show.

I'm a contradiction. I'm not quite ready to grow up and fall in line, but I fake it very well.

I've always questioned authority, and I wanted to be a writer when I was a little girl. I like to think that's why I'm not a fan of cops and I prefer cheap bourbon.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a legal assistant for a family law attorney.

But on any given day, I'm playing the role(s) of therapist/detective/runner/bill collector/sounding board/charmer/scapegoat/negotiator /bearer of bad news...

...all while burning through sticky notes, envelopes, and printer ink at an alarming rate.
I’m really good at
Getting lost

Doing my makeup/changing clothes while driving - this comes in handy more often than it should

Preventing my apartment complex from burning to the fucking ground by being, I'm fairly certain, the only person who actually cleans the dryer lint traps (you're welcome, neighbors)

Overusing commas and dashes...(and ellipses)

Forgetting names. Even 5 minutes after you tell me.

Remembering song lyrics. Any genre, any decade... good songs, shitty songs, doesn't matter... if I've heard it more than 4-5 times, then my brain has, for whatever reason, decided that it is VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION that should be remembered forever - at the expense of people's names, apparently :/

Picking out the perfect present

Basketball (yes, really)
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyelashes (people always think they're fake) and my VERY Southern accent
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - The Motorcycle Diaries, Motherless Brooklyn, This is Where I Leave You, The God Delusion, shopgirl... anything by Raymond Chandler or Augusten Burroughs

Movies - A Prophet, Requiem for a Dream, Secretary, Notes on a Scandal, The Third Man, In Bruges, Goodfellas, Arsenic and Old Lace, Bridesmaids, North by Northwest, Dog Day Afternoon, Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight, Pulp Fiction, The Candidate

TV Shows - Bored to Death, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Affair, Game of Thrones, Orphan Black, You're the Worst, Justified, Billy on the Street, Full Frontal, Last Week Tonight, Real Time, The Daily Show, Veep

Music - Hayes Carll, Sean Hayes, Ray Lamontagne, Bob Dylan, Wilco, Dwight Yoakam, Widespread Panic, Gov't Mule, Curtis Mayfield, Amy Winehouse, Ben Harper, Ray Wylie Hubbard, Adele, Drive-By Truckers, Kathleen Edwards, Alabama Shakes, Neko Case, Jonny Lang, Lucero, Bon Iver, Lucinda Williams, Grateful Dead, Johnny Cash, The Kills, Todd Snider, Justin Townes Earle, Patty Griffin, The National, Joe Pug, Black Keys, Lumineers, Jason Isbell, Jackie Greene, Warren Haynes... pretty much anything recorded in Muscle Shoals and anything with Jack White - my crush since high school
AND... I can't listen to Nina Simone's "Mississippi Goddam" without crying
AND... Hole has been completely overshadowed by the hot mess that is Courtney Love's personal life, but their music gives me chills

worcestershire sauce and soy sauce make everything taste better.
love hummus and fresh vegetables. and cilantro. and homemade salsa.
HATE mayonnaise
The six things I could never do without
NPR

Sharpie pens

Dive bars

Stiletto heels

Bourbon

Satirical news shows
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to drag a kicking and screaming Mississippi into the 21st century.......... just kidding, that's impossible.

If our president-elect actually has small hands, or if his suits are poorly tailored; and if his suits are poorly tailored, is that an oversight? Like how he thinks hair sewn into his scalp looks natural? Or is it just vanity? Does he think if his suit is a little baggy then we will just believe that his tailor is awful and then overlook his borderline obesity? When you're born rich but nobody cares so then you have to start grifting, are you a true grifter...? Is grifting a nature vs. nurture thing? Am I the only person who imagines his ideal pet as one of those hairless cats? Can a human spontaneously combust from ego overload? How does a 70 year-old man who has gotten like 3 hours of sleep a night for the last 20-30 years and who lives off of fast food and "twitter drama" find the energy and the motivation to become the laughingstock of the entire world? Did we really elect this idiot as president?
On a typical Friday night I am
Running late, most likely.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm deathly afraid of squirrels. And those little birds that are always hopping around your car in parking lots.

...I'm also pretty fucking terrified of the VERY REAL possibility of a President Donald Trump (my skin crawled and my life flashed before my eyes just typing that).
UPDATE: please send help, I am almost out of whiskey and not ready to face our new Dear Leader/reality
You should message me if
You've ever heard "Conversation With the Devil"
Bet you haven't ;)
More