Life with no pants > Life with pants
I <3 naps + hugs
It's autumn in New England. Let's go apple picking and make an apple press to make cider.
I flip houses in my free time so I'm looking ideally for someone who likes to make lemonade on hot days, or likes to put bitch stickers on all my inevitable bad ass eventual scars while simultaneously calling me a pussy and an idiot. Oh the memories we will make when I hammer my pinky finger and you think it's a little girl screaming. I'll be your biggest fan if you'll be mine.
I swear like a sailor, because I fucking am one.
-non-speaking roles in motion pictures,
- being an asshole (but I could be YOUR asshole ;)
-singing 'Sister Christian' in the shower,
-losing socks in the dryer,
-finding obscure links and gifs on the Internet to enhance conversation,
- relevant, http://imgur.com/gallery/LTg1h
-jogging in slow motion,
-Eating grilled cheese,
-getting to the top of the stairs and forgetting why I went up the stairs,
-kicking you while you are down when playing monopoly
-getting to the bottom of the stairs and remembering why I went up them,
-navigating hot air balloons,
-avoiding attacks by wild animals,
-avoiding attacks by domesticated animals,
-that awkward moment at the end of a first date when you aren't sure if the next move is a hug, a kiss, shaking hand, a fist bump, or a high five.
-people needing therapy after playing me in scrabble,
-saving kids that fall down wells,
-critiquing Gordon Ramsey's cooking, etc.
Taquitos. Whoever invented taquitos should be canonized, or knighted. Or both.
Tv shows, I don't own a tv, but the simpsons have a place in my heart.
I was watching House for a few weeks one time, then I was quickly coming to the conclusion that A) I had cancer, B) I was dying, or C) dying from cancer.
I'll watch it still, but only in moderation.
Quotes... I guess...
"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show...and see if she likes the goods" -Ron Burgundy
what I typically do on a Friday night.
One time I rocked out to the radio in my car, and when I got lost, I asked for directions. Once.
I cut my sandwich into triangles.
-You have a team scrabble tournament coming up and want to win.
-If you are either witty, quirky, nerdy, active, smart, an individual, unique, not scared, or any combination of these. We should get along.
-You know a kid that's trapped in a well.