32Sanbornville, United States
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My self-summary
I travel often, mostly for work. Currently in Alaska or Hawaii or somewhere on the west coast. Any adventurers who are figuratively 'in the same boat' inquire below. It comes down to a few things that I will try to map out mathematically

Life with no pants > Life with pants
I <3 naps + hugs

It's summer in New England, let's go kayaking of canoeing for a day and end it with a bonfire looking up at the starry night.
What I’m doing with my life
I work, and I like to think I'm good at my job. Luckily, I haven't killed anybody, so I like to consider that a success, considering incompetence isn't just a river in Egypt.

I watched an unhealthy amount of HGTV when I was younger, so I flip houses in my free time. I'm looking for someone who likes to work with their hands, and/or likes to put bitch stickers on all my inevitable bad ass eventual scars while calling me an idiot. Either will work for me. Oh the memories we will make when I hammer my pinky finger and you think it's a little girl screaming. I'll be your biggest fan if you'll be mine.

I swear like a sailor, because I fucking am one.
I’m really good at
-destroying your hopes and dreams in MarioKart 64,
-not drowning,
-non-speaking roles in motion pictures,
-singing 'Sister Christian' in the shower,
-Blanket Forts,
-losing socks in the dryer,
-finding obscure links and gifs on the Internet to enhance conversation,
- relevant,
-jogging in slow motion,
-Eating grilled cheese,
-getting to the top of the stairs and forgetting why I went up the stairs,
-kicking you while you are down when playing monopoly,
-using antlers in ALL of my decorating,
-obscure movie references,
-getting to the bottom of the stairs and remembering why I went up them,
-finding socks in the dryer,
-navigating hot air balloons,
-avoiding attacks by wild animals,
-avoiding attacks by domesticated animals,
-awkward moments,
-letting you cry it out after I beat you down in scrabble,
-saving kids that fall down wells,
-critiquing Gordon Ramsey's cooking, etc.
The first things people usually notice about me

Update, sorry to say, worked off the moobs.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Sure. I'm a bibliophile. I probably visited your profile for tips on which books I should be reading.

Taquitos. Whoever invented taquitos should be canonized, or knighted. Or both.

Tv shows, I don't own a tv, but the simpsons have a place in my heart.

I was watching House for a few weeks one time, then I was quickly coming to the conclusion that A) I had cancer, B) I was dying, or C) dying from cancer.

I'll watch it still, but only in moderation.

Quotes... I guess...
"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show...and see if she likes the goods" -Ron Burgundy
Six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to fit more antlers into my decorating.

More obscure movie references.

what I typically do on a Friday night.
On a typical Friday night I am
I just got done thinking about this... Weird. I try to enjoy myself and enrich the lives of others. I'll go to a public place, hope that someone has Airdrop on and send memes to random strangers. It's thoroughly entertaining. Also, I'm easily entertained.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't have a mustache.

One time I rocked out to the radio in my car, and when I got lost, I asked for directions. Once.

I cut my sandwich into triangles.

I spend an unusual amount of time thinking about how much fun I can have high-fiving everyone trying to take photos at the Leaning Tower of Pisa
You should message me if
-You have a wedding/family gathering to go to and need a date who is sociable, looks good in a suit, and can deal with intrusive family members politely.
-You have a team scrabble tournament coming up and want to win.
-If you are either witty, quirky, nerdy, active, smart, an individual, unique, not scared, or any combination of these. We should get along.
-You know a kid that's trapped in a well.
The two of us