31 Sanbornville, United States
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My self-summary
I love cheese.

Strong arms that can rescue you from a fire or hold you at night and start one.

Read more for extra cheesy goodness.

I travel often. Any adventurers who are figuratively 'in the same boat' inquire below. Natives welcome. It comes down to a few things that I will try to map out mathematically

Life with no pants > Life with pants
I <3 naps + hugs

Looking to find the Joanna to my Chip. If you know who I'm referencing, then you should message me.
What I’m doing with my life
I work, and I like to think I'm good at my job. Luckily, I haven't killed anybody, so I like to consider that a success.

I flip houses in my free time so I'm looking ideally for someone who likes design, or likes to swing a hammer, or likes to make lemonade on hot days, or likes to put bitch stickers on all my inevitable bad ass eventual scars while simultaneously calling me a pussy and an idiot. Oh the memories we will make when I hammer my pinky finger and you think it's a little girl screaming. I'll be your biggest fan if you'll be mine.

I swear like a sailor, because I fucking am one.
I’m really good at
-destroying your hopes and dreams in Mariokart 64,
-not drowning,
-non-speaking roles in motion pictures,
-singing 'Sister Christian' in the shower,
-losing socks in the dryer,
-finding obscure links and gifs on the Internet to enhance conversation,
- relevant,
-jogging in slow motion,
-Eating grilled cheese,
-getting to the top of the stairs and forgetting why I went up the stairs,
-kicking you while you are down when playing monopoly
-getting to the bottom of the stairs and remembering why I went up them,
-navigating hot air balloons,
-avoiding attacks by wild animals,
-avoiding attacks by domesticated animals,
-that awkward moment at the end of a first date when you aren't sure if the next move is a hug, a kiss, shaking hand, a fist bump, or a high five.
-people needing therapy after playing me in scrabble,
-saving kids that fall down wells,
-critiquing Gordon Ramsey's cooking, etc.
The first things people usually notice about me
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Sure.

Taquitos. Whoever invented taquitos should be canonized, or knighted. Or both.

Tv shows, I don't own a tv, but the simpsons have a place in my heart.

I was watching House for a few weeks one time, then I was quickly coming to the conclusion that A) I had cancer, B) I was dying, or C) dying from cancer.

I'll watch it still, but only in moderation.

Quotes... I guess...
"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show...and see if she likes the goods" -Ron Burgundy

"Because I have known despair, I value hope.

Because I have tasted frustration, I value fulfillment.

Because I have been lonely, I value love" -Leonard Nimoy
The six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why ashes aren't called "experienced firewood"

what I typically do on a Friday night.
On a typical Friday night I am
I just got done thinking about this... Weird. I try to enjoy myself and enrich the lives of others. I'll go to a public place, hope that someone has Airdrop on and send memes to random strangers. It's thoroughly entertaining. Also, I'm easily entertained.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't have a mustache.

One time I rocked out to the radio in my car, and when I got lost, I asked for directions. Once.

I cut my sandwich into triangles.
You should message me if
-You have a wedding/family gathering to go to and need a date who is sociable, looks good in a suit, and can deal with intrusive family members politely.
-You have a team scrabble tournament coming up and want to win.
-If you are either witty, quirky, nerdy, active, smart, an individual, unique, not scared, or any combination of these. We should get along.
-You know a kid that's trapped in a well.