Ideally you're the type of person who likes to go out in heels (because you look awesome in them) but can't wait to get home at the end of the night so you can take them off (because they're uncomfortable as fuck); you'll say my jokes are stupid (but still laugh); you like good food but you, sometimes, just want to go to Meat Market, eat a burger, and tell me not to judge you (which I won't).
But apart from that I'm a tech nerd who works at a software company and helps people make awesome online shops. I'm a mix of good writing skills and good coding skills. I help our client's tech nerds understand the software, write better code and make beautiful, easy-to-use websites. In other words, I find out how stuff works and then write about it.
Before that, I studied philosophy and ethics at university but it turns out there aren't a lot of jobs for philosophers these days. I don't know what I'm going to do with all these togas.
I like to cycle and take pictures, watch movies and the latest big drama out of the States. I also really enjoy computer and board games. Ideal first date is cocktails, good food and then hitting up an arcade for some air hockey and House of the Dead, or meeting up for brunch and wandering around London talking shit and making up stories about the people we pass.
I'd like to see more of the world, hopefully you do too. I don't take myself too seriously, and neither should you.
- Dodging traffic on my bike
- Finding grammatical errors and restructuring sentences
- Baking jaffa cakes
- Demolishing said jaffa cakes
- Saying the alphabet backwards (pro tip: if you practice while sober then you can use it to pass sobriety tests when you're drunk)
- Running with scissors ("stab-wound free since '93!")
- Making references to memes, and TV show, movie and game tropes
- Not playing by the rules
- Getting results, damnit
Movies: sometimes there's nothing better than sitting on the couch with someone and watching a stupid action movie. If you like the idea of occasionally just grabbing some popcorn and watching Die Hard or The Matrix then I think we'll get along just fine.
TV: there's a lot I like. To list a few: Community, How I Met Your Mother, Firefly, Boston Legal, Archer, Veep, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, American Dad, Family Guy, Battlestar Galactica, True Detective, Dollhouse, Justified, The Good Wife, The West Wing, 30 Rock. If it's well written, well acted, and makes you laugh or think then I probably watch it. SORRY, I still haven't seen The Wire or ... Game of Thrones.
Music: all things, really. I tend to find tracks I like rather than bands. However, some favourites include Ludovico Einaudi, Idlewild, Prodigy, White Sea, Cults, Slash, Walk The Moon, very early Fleetwood Mac (blues), Led Zeppelin, Biffy Clyro, Black Keys. Very happy to listen to random house / electronica / synth pop if you have it. I like finding out what makes a band special to someone. I like to have music on all the time, even if it's just in the background, and noise-cancelling headphones on at work.
As for food, 'omnivorous' is the best way to describe my tastes. There are few foods I don't enjoy and it's pretty much mandatory that you like steak, ribs, and cocktails. I know the best burger places in London. If you can make baked eggs and brew good coffee for breakfast then I'm yours. I'll wash the dishes.
My computer/internet. Let's face it: we all love the internet, it's probably the single best invention in existence and keeps me in a job. Y'know, if you except things like fire, indoor plumbing, and door handles that you can't get the belt hoops of your jeans caught on.
A duvet, when it's 8am and raining outside.
My infallible ability to count.
Why killer whales didn't call themselves 'sea pandas' instead. Branding fail.
WHY PEOPLE WALK SLOWLY. THIS. IS. LONDON.
Whether answering all of these sections entirely in rhyming /
Couplets would make me seem pretentious or smart /
I suppose then that it's all down to my good timing /
Watch as I turn profile writing into an art.
Wait. They're not rhyming couplets. Damnit. Will fix this later.
Oh and politics.
You like water. I'm 60% water so you already like 60% of me. That's pretty good right?
You'll laugh at my dumb jokes and try your hardest to make me laugh with yours.
You're a dreamer, optimist, and idealist. You see the best in things. You find it hard to hold grudges. You meow at cats.
You're looking for something that could become serious / long-term.
You reckon we could go a day communicating entirely with memes and reaction gifs.
Preferably, you're interested or curious in kink and D/s stuff.
You're Oxford Dictionary in the streets, Urban Dictionary in the sheets.