I haven't yet reached the point of online dating post traumatic stress disorder...but I've definitely earned my merit badge. I'm like an OKC Native American tracker -- I can find myself through this place by smell alone.
I also realized that I called myself "hysterical" in previous profile iterations yet my profile read like a washing machine instruction manual. So here's my attempt at both informing and making you laugh your butt off: Like John Oliver or Jon Stewart.
First some OKC Questions:
- When did Chapstick become a vital item for one's existence? I mean, I don't like chapped lips either...but I've never broken down in tears because I forgot my Chapstick at home
- Is there a guy that photoshops your head into the same picture from Warrior Dash? Like one of those carnival backdrops with a hole for your head? Am I the only one without this picture?
- I get it. You listen to NPR and don't own a television...plus you've listed 5 authors as favorites that even Barnes & Noble themselves didn't know existed...call me when you want to have a pizza, a beer and discuss the earlier works of Judy Blume
- I get it...you like men over 6 foot, who are "fit", between the ages of 25-45, have a job, a car and a home., yet definitively are single and don't want a "hook up"...EVERY one of you wants that. I did the math...there's like 12 of those in the Detroit area with 600 of you competing for him. Doesn't anyone want the cute guy, with a great career that will make you laugh your ass off and treat you incredible?
(Please...the above was meant to make you laugh. Honestly. If you took it seriously than we probably aren't meant to be together)
Back to the profile...
I'm a great catch...if your definition of "great catch" is having someone that will make you laugh your ass off constantly, send you flowers randomly, bring you chicken soup when you're sick and make your mom wanna friend me on Facebook.
I'm a guy's guy in many ways...I love sports, action movies, stand-up comedy and slapstick comedy movies...yet I also adore independent film, live music, theatre and the arts. Duality is hot!
Travel is something I greatly enjoy...and I often get paid to do it for work and cool places too! And I'd absolutely love to have someone amazing to be by my side and have great adventures.
I promise I'm well worth knowing even if it doesn't lead to "sparks". I have a list of friends that have been in my life for more than 20 years that would tell you that I'm loyal and always there for them with a shoulder or laugh...what woman in her right mind wouldn't want to take advantage of that?
Between those moments I spend time paying the bills with a career I greatly enjoy, playing a decent second base and slapping liners to left (I can't hit to right to save my life) and traveling whenever possible for work and play.
Notice anything missing in this equation?
(Hint...she's female...and I don't know who she is yet either)
I'm a movie junkie, buff, whatever you wanna call it...I range from the Godfather films to the dialogue pieces of anything written by Mamet, epics like the Lord of the Rings and Star Wars series, Apatow goofy comedies, Albert Brooks movies, Wil Ferrell films, Kevin Smith work...and I am a major Marvel movie junkie.
As for TV..I've limited what I watch lately but love Billions, Vinyl, Baskets, Unbreakable KImmy Schmidt, Shameless, Bob's Burgers, Family Guy, Modern Family and more
Music is almost too impossible to list...its really mood...I have an old Ipod Classic that's loaded with zillions of songs
(Kidding...see what I did there)
My dogs (they count as one), family, friends, good food, good music
NO...not "Settling" contenedness
Finding the right combination of job happiness, home happiness, hobby happiness and yes...romantic happiness. All to the point where people think "He must be on drugs...there's no way he can be that happy always"
So yeah...if you want that...then reply. I double dog dare you!