Fine. I've never lost my keys. I'm joking somewhere around 80% of the time, but I'd like to meet someone willing to get serious. I'm trying to prove that dry wit and sincerity are not mutually exclusive. Yes, I have to prove I have a dry wit first. Oh, stop it.
I'm often told that I don't seem like I'm from New York (I am). I love this city, but that's high praise.
Oh, and when I once asked a date how I was different from my profile, she paused and said, "I thought you'd be ... meaner." Sorry to disappoint.
I'm an ad creative at a small agency. I'll spare you a Mad Men joke. I love what I do, even though it doesn't seem to make me better at selling myself.
Those are my skills? The hell have I been doing?
Want me to grow a beard? Give me six months. I'll get back to you.
Shows: I watch a lot of sports, but I've been known to enjoy watching Stacy and Clinton have a laugh about how much better looking they are than the poor woman they brought on their show. I like when they go into her closet and theatrically trash everything. Like you'd waste that many good hangers.
Music: I ostensibly bought the Jersey Boys soundtrack for my parents, but we all know who got the most mileage out of that thing.
2. Pio Pio -- It's basically Peruvian crack. Actually Peruvian crack is probably actual crack. Their chicken is awesome, is what I'm saying.
3. Gummi Bears -- there's a point where you start bringing gummi bears into the cab on the way to the bar that you realize you may have a problem. By "you" I mean "I."
4. My Jay Sean Pandora station that also plays Breaking Benjamin, Killswitch Engage, etc. -- which you know I've been working on for years because no one has started a Jay Sean Pandora station since 2010.
5. Turkey, yogurt, eggs, cauliflower, baby carrots -- Let's just say it's not the most creative weeknight menu at the Blanquito Mansion.
6. My New York Mets pajama pants -- but we're not really there yet, are we?
Also a lifelong Mets and Knicks fan -- proof of my dedication to long-term relationships under the most trying of circumstances.
...you sing tasteful harmony.
...you need a freelance goalkeeper.
...you enjoy sports, fitness, food, writing, people watching, banter, cocktails, or any combination thereof.
...you'll get me into yoga, Pilates, or any other exotically named exercise regimen.
...you've never looked at a guy and said, "those jeans aren't skinny enough."
..you just want to talk Game of Thrones. I will have NSA GoT conversations with anyone.