31Manhattan, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Hey, let's do something different. I'm having back surgery on July 25th, and while I should be back to normal in a few weeks, this isn't a great time for me to meet in person. So, wanna chat? Get to know each other through an endless series of long-winded messages where we learn way too much about one another before meeting? Maybe build way too much expectation for our eventual in-person meeting? Sweet. I'm in. Let's give it a shot.

Seriously, I just can't meet up for a few weeks, but I'd love to chat. Okay, here's my profile.

As much as I love talking about myself, wouldn't you rather make your own impression?

Fine. I've never lost my keys. I'm joking somewhere around 80% of the time, but I'd like to meet someone willing to get serious. I'm trying to prove that dry wit and sincerity are not mutually exclusive. Yes, I have to prove I have a dry wit first. Stop it.

Oh, and when I once asked a date how I was different from my profile, she paused and said, "I thought you'd be ... meaner."
What I’m doing with my life
Born and raised in Manhattan; living on the UES. In college I was an English major, baseball player and the singer in a cover band that would gig in bars and frats. Today I correct grammar, play soccer (goalie, which of course means I'm very responsible, and good with my hands) and sing in a choir (baritone -- I'm like a homeless man's Groban).

I'm an ad creative at a small agency. I'll spare you a Mad Men joke.
I’m really good at
A) Cooking my own tomato sauce, b) singing, especially at inappropriate times, c) complaining about terrible sports announcers, d) knowing the capital of every country, e) Minesweeper, and f) correcting grammar errors.

Those are my skills? The hell have I been doing?
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably that I'm really very extremely white? But what I get from new people the most is definitely, definitely how sarcastic I am. Which, I know I said I'd show rather than tell, but just know that we're aware of the problem and we're working on it.

Want me to grow a beard? Give me six months. I'll get back to you.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movie: "Shakespeare in Love" - Unabashedly.

Shows: I watch a lot of sports, but I've been known to enjoy watching Stacy and Clinton have a laugh about how much better looking they are than the poor woman they brought on their show. I like when they go into her closet and theatrically trash everything. Like you'd waste that many good hangers.

Music: I ostensibly bought the Jersey Boys soundtrack for my parents, but we all know who got the most mileage out of that thing.
Six things I could never do without
1. My shower -- the only place in town that lets the singer do Boyz II Men, Metallica and Josh Groban all in one set.

2. Pio Pio -- It's basically Peruvian crack. Actually Peruvian crack is probably actual crack. Their chicken is awesome, is what I'm saying.

3. Gummi Bears -- there's a point where you start bringing gummi bears into the cab on the way to the bar that you realize you may have a problem. By "you" I mean "I."

4. My Jay Sean Pandora station that also plays Breaking Benjamin, Killswitch Engage, etc. -- which you know I've been working on for years because no one has started a Jay Sean Pandora station since 2010.

5. Turkey, yogurt, eggs, cauliflower, baby carrots -- Let's just say it's not the most creative weeknight menu at the Blanquito Mansion.

6. My New York Mets pajama pants -- but we're not really there yet, are we?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Isn't "short-term dating" just failed long-term dating?
On a typical Friday night I am
Like the rest of us, I'm making sure my azaleas are watered. Actually it's not so much the watering, it's more just leaving my scent in the garden so the woodchucks won't come in and eat everything while I'm out with my friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Kindness is very important, I'm looking for something long-term, and friendship is sexy. I know, what a hero. Back to the jokes.

Also a lifelong Mets and Knicks fan -- proof of my dedication to long-term relationships under the most trying of circumstances.
You should message me if
...your enthusiasm disgusts people. want to find a karaoke bar that has "Despacito." need a freelance goalkeeper. enjoy sports, fitness, food, writing, people watching, banter, cocktails, or any combination thereof.'ve never looked at a guy and said, "those jeans aren't skinny enough." don't wait to text back. It's cool, I did it too. just want to talk Game of Thrones. I will have NSA GoT conversations with anyone.
The two of us