24Boston, United States
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My self-summary
I was born on a mountain crag at night while the cries of the snow leopards echoing below. Left to die in the savage snows. They came and took me as their own. I was with the pack ten years before men came.

They took me out of curiosity. I was hauled to their cities in chains as a new found wonder. One night I bit out my jailer’s throat and ran free under the moon. By then I knew speech. I made my way to the New World on a steamship.

Since then, I’ve tamed lands, beasts, and women. Dark eyed servant girls laughed and filled my cup with wine; my cellars were stacked high with gold. Still. I was troubled by dreams. Talons of snow in the dark. The shrieking wind.

Seriously: I'm in an relationship with an amazing girl and we're looking for a cool girl to meet and if the chemistry's there, play around.
What I’m doing with my life
Gold. Jewels. Horses. Yachts. Actually I call them “boats” now. It’s gauche to call a yacht a “yacht.” They teach you that in schools for extraordinary people. Oh, you haven’t been?

Hang gliding. Paragliding. Flying private planes drunk like JFK junior. Chess. Jaguar wrangling. The finest Colombian cocaine. I once tamed a lion simply by looking at it. I also teach adult literacy at my local library.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Dale Carnegie’s How to Not Get a Boner on the Bus and Weird Everyone the Fuck Out,
The Bible,
The Qu’ran spelled with a Q and prominently displayed so you know how multicultural I am,
The Big Bang Theory if every episode were just 22 minutes of the cast being slowly skinned alive,
ASOIAF which I don’t need to spell out for you cuz you’re a dork,
Claude “Ass Shredder” Debussy,
Johann Sebastian “Thunderscrote” Bach,
Spongebob if baked.

I also religiously watch the Human Centipede
Six things I could never do without
Alcohol. Music. Tits. Three tits so the math works out
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How am I gonna support my 22 kids?
On a typical Friday night I am
Streaking through cities while evading the police. I also help the elderly.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My pin number is 6969 ;)
You should message me if
don't call me, i'll call you
The two of us