24Boston, United States
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My self-summary
I was born on a mountain crag at night while the cries of the snow leopards echoing below. Left to die in the savage snows. They came and took me as their own. I was with the pack ten years before men came.

They took me out of curiosity. I was hauled to their cities in chains as a new found wonder. One night I bit out my jailer’s throat and ran free under the moon. By then I knew speech. I made my way to the New World on a steamship.

Since then, I’ve tamed lands, beasts, and women. Dark eyed servant girls laughed and filled my cup with wine; my cellars were stacked high with gold. Still. I was troubled by dreams. Talons of snow in the dark. The shrieking wind.
What I’m doing with my life
Gold. Jewels. Horses. Yachts. Actually I call them “boats” now. It’s gauche to call a yacht a “yacht.” They teach you that in schools for extraordinary people. Oh, you haven’t been?

Hang gliding. Paragliding. Flying private planes drunk like JFK junior. Chess. Jaguar wrangling. The finest Colombian cocaine. I once tamed a lion simply by looking at it. I also teach adult literacy at my local library.

Seriously: I have a job, It’s not my life. I do it so I can get a check that lets me make art, make music, travel, and live and shit. Let’s get sauced some night and talk shit and see if we like each other.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Dale Carnegie’s How to Not Get a Boner on the Bus and Weird Everyone the Fuck Out,
The Bible,
The Qu’ran spelled with a Q and prominently displayed so you know how multicultural I am,
The Big Bang Theory if every episode were just 22 minutes of the cast being slowly skinned alive,
ASOIAF which I don’t need to spell out for you cuz you’re a dork,
Claude “Ass Shredder” Debussy,
Johann Sebastian “Thunderscrote” Bach,
Spongebob if baked.

I also religiously watch the Human Centipede
Six things I could never do without
Alcohol. Music. Tits. Three tits so the math works out
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How am I gonna support my 22 kids?
On a typical Friday night I am
Streaking through cities while evading the police. I also help the elderly.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My pin number is 6969 ;)
You should message me if
don't call me, i'll call you
The two of us