They took me out of curiosity. I was hauled to their cities in chains as a new found wonder. One night I bit out my jailer’s throat and ran free under the moon. By then I knew speech. I made my way to the New World on a steamship.
Since then, I’ve tamed lands, beasts, and women. Dark eyed servant girls laughed and filled my cup with wine; my cellars were stacked high with gold. Still. I was troubled by dreams. Talons of snow in the dark. The shrieking wind.
Hang gliding. Paragliding. Flying private planes drunk like JFK junior. Chess. Jaguar wrangling. The finest Colombian cocaine. I once tamed a lion simply by looking at it. I also teach adult literacy at my local library.
Seriously: I have a job, It’s not my life. I do it so I can get a check that lets me make art, make music, travel, and live and shit. Let’s get sauced some night and talk shit and see if we like each other.
The Qu’ran spelled with a Q and prominently displayed so you know how multicultural I am,
The Big Bang Theory if every episode were just 22 minutes of the cast being slowly skinned alive,
ASOIAF which I don’t need to spell out for you cuz you’re a dork,
Claude “Ass Shredder” Debussy,
Johann Sebastian “Thunderscrote” Bach,
Spongebob if baked.
I also religiously watch the Human Centipede