35Cleveland, United States
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My self-summary
Yes, my profile is hella long. No, I won't change it. It's descriptive. Deal with it. I'm less bitchy after the first few paragraphs (after the "things not to message me with) here.

I'm annoyed with the fact that pretty much everyone on here wants to "hook up" but doesn't want relationships. So sure, I'll fill out a profile, but you likely won't read it, and just message me with, "hi".

Things NOT to message me:

~ "Hey cutie" (or you're cute, hey beautiful, etc). Beauty is on the inside and the outside. On top of that, I know I'm cute. I don't need you to tell me that. Telling me that only irritates me because you think I'm going to fall all over you because you called me cute. I'm not. So no. Stop. Tell me I'm cute once you've had a real conversation with me. That is a compliment. Telling someone you've never met they're cute based on their pictures is you trying to get laid.

~ I'm sapiosexual. If you don't know what that means, look it up before you talk to me. Good grammar and spelling are much sexier than "Hey cutie, r u gunna cum over here and talk 2 me 2nite" *rolls eyes*. (Yes, that was a real message)

~ "Hey sexy" or even worse, "hey sexxy, hey sexxxy." Adding more x's doesn't make you creative. It makes you look like an idiot.

~ Don't message me assuming I'm desperate for sex. I'm really not. YOU might be, but I'm not, and I don't appreciate the assumption that because I'm fat means I can't get any. It means you won't be getting any, and I'm a fantastic lay. Ask my boyfriend.

~ Yes, I have a boyfriend. No I won't break up with him for you. If you want to know why I'm on here, keep reading.

~ Don't ask me what I'm looking for. I have a very detailed fucking profile. Read it. If you still want to message me afterwards, then do so. But don't expect me to respect you if you ask me that.

I know that 95% of you won't bother reading this profile, and will message me with "hi" or "hey" or something equally stupid. I will view you as stupid because of it.

I am Spontaneous, Fun, and Weird. I like random things. I get distracted a lot. I forget a lot. I had brain damage a while ago and it lends to a poor memory. However, this generally means surprises happen more often. (Good and bad!) I've learned to roll with it, and in general it doesn't effect me much.

I enjoy doing a lot of different things. I crochet and knit and like to go geocaching when I can. Geocaching is about as much as I get out in nature. On rare occasions I'll go camping, but usually only at Brushwood or some other festival type situation. I do love bonfires, but I have to use enough OFF to make the entire thing potentially combustible to be near me so the mosquitoes leave me alone. They're attracted to me in droves. It's like I'm their queen.

I enjoy photography, listening to a wide variety of music (see below), and going for long drives. I like to bake and while I can follow a recipe and cook, I'm down with take out too.

I enjoy having a theological discussion as much as something silly about a TV show. I like walking in parks and I enjoy sunsets. I adore Lake Erie, and I've been to the Pacific Ocean, but not the Atlantic.

To get this out of the way..... I'm not into god, you can't convert me. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and somewhere around the age of 16, I realized I'm not a huge fan of any religion. I follow my own path now, which doesn't involve a god/gods/specific religion/whatever.

I am looking for someone who can hang out with me, who likes to try new things, enjoys comfortable things like netflix in pajamas and wouldn't roll their eyes at a chick flick, murder film, or drama. I also want someone who can hang out and be silly, like going to Chuck-E-Cheese, (regardless if we take kids or not).

Someone who understands kids is a must. Of course, I'm not going to thrust them (I have two, my daughter lives with me, and my son lives with his father in Seattle) upon you immediately, that would be insanely mean, and even I am not that cruel.

I enjoy board games and some other card games. CAH, Gloom, Pandemic, Castle Panic, Munchkin, Ticket to Ride, etc. Online games are fun sometimes. I love Katamari Damacy. I have a Wii and a PS2 and a PS3, but mostly my PS3 gets used for Blu-Ray movies and Netflix. I hang on youtube and watch a lot. TableTop is awesome.

I have no pets, the boyfriend is allergic.

I have a blog about my life for public consumption. If you're really adventurous, you can view it here, though I don't update it as often as I should:

I'm looking for someone who actively tries to make relationships work. I'm open to poly, when it's done correctly, as I am currently seeing a wonderful man.

No, you will not replace him.
Yes, he is in my life for the foreseeable future.
No, I won't dump him for you.

I don't care if you're a guy or a girl. I like both equally. It's the personality that matters.

I know a lot of people don't grasp that there's a difference between an open relationship and poly and OKC doesn't have a check mark box for Poly instead of "open relationship" so we have to suffer with open relationship and explain to people the difference. So here goes me trying to explain it so I don't have to keep doing so in messages.

An open relationship is often considered two people being in a relationship and they want to see other people. Often times, they want nothing to do with the other person's other lovers, etc.

Poly is me wanting to meet my bf's other lovers. Hoping we can become friends. Maybe even do movie or game nights on a regular basis. Possibly even happy fun sexy times.

I will meet his potential other girl/boyfreinds. He will me my other potential girl/boyfriends. This is non-negotiable.

We will not be having sex right away. It's something that takes time and I will get to know you first. Don't bother messaging me if you're looking for something quick. The process isn't quick.

I want someone who isn't afraid of children, though I'm not looking for someone necessarily step into the parenting role. I've raised them solo most of their lives and I know I would have a hard time sharing that parenting role. Plus they have a dad already.

I'm fairly certain that there are very few people out there who will fit in with all of this. Most people see that I already have a boyfriend and peace out. Or kids. Or a weird life. But I do rather enjoy the idea of finding someone who can long term this crazy life nexus with me/us.

I think Meyers-Briggs is a crock of shit, as every time I take it I get a different result. It literally just depends on my mood when I take the test. I know some people take it and get the same result every time, but it's VERY fluid for me. I guess it's because I continuously grow and change, and am not a stagnant person. I often get INTP and ENTP, but yesterday I got ENFJ and last month I got INTJ. So honestly, the only consistent I see there is the N. lol.

Also, smoking/vaping/420-ing is out. If you do any of the above, don't bother contacting me. It seems this will rule out 3/4 of the population, but *shrug* I'm allergic to pot and I hate cigs and vaping is just as disgusting.

If that sounds like something you are interested in, by all means, contact me. :)
What I’m doing with my life
One day, I'd love to travel. There are so many things in this world that I'd love to visit and see. Just one day in Egypt, Rome, Ireland, many places and such a short lifespan we humans have. I doubt I'll get to see everything on my bucket list, but I'll be thrilled when I can get a passport and stamp five different countries (not connected to the US) on it. :)
I’m really good at
We'll go with writing, reading, hanging out, scrap booking, making my friends laugh and being silly. I love to crochet and knit and enjoy making something out of nothing.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have no idea - go ask someone who just met me what they noticed. My sarcastic personality and charming witty demeanor? *laughs* Physically I've been told my eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books....I can go on forever with books. I LOVE books. I love to read. I read mostly fiction, but I branch out occasionally. I like stuff as tame as Harry Potter to Jean Auel, to cheesy romance novels by Nora Roberts to popular science magazine and medical weekly, to stupid bestseller books like Brisingr and Twilight, Temeraire, Young adult fix like Hunger Games and Lunar Chronicles series, to murder mystery novels, to science fiction books, (GoT books are awesome). I read as much as I can, as often as I can. I also like to write a bit and have toyed with the idea of getting something published someday. But I think I'm too shy about people reading my own writing. I don't trust people who don't read.

Movies/TV. like watching TV, but I don't have cable. I use Netflix and stream crap offline. Any good sci-fi flick will keep me entertained for hours. Serenity, Stargate(s), Dr. Who (new and old), Battlestar Galactica (new and old), I like action and romance too. (A girl has to have her cheesy chick flick on occasion, but I don't torture others with them unless they volunteer.) I like anime, and Spirited Away is a favorite. Nausica, etc. Lots of Studio Ghibli. I classics like Princess Bride and Neverending Story, Gone with the Wind and Sound of Music (I'm a sucker for a good old fashioned musical). I like a moderate amount of horror movies, but nothing too icky. I like the super cheesy horror movies. I like things like Hunger Games (books and movies) and enjoy super hero flicks like Iron Man. I'm not a huge fan of "stupid comedy" but I did laugh at Elf and Dodgeball. However, I cannot stand Anchorman. (Count it against me if you must.) Some stupid I can handle, too much grates on me. I deal with stupid people enough in my life, I don't really want to watch it too.

Music is as eclectic as everything else. I have a broad range. I like some stuff in the top 40 range, and I like music from my parent's era. I like a lot of it. It just depends on my mood what I'm actually listening to at the moment. Some artists off my itunes list: Adele, Flobots, Santana, Evanescence, Taylor Swift, David Bowie, Jason Aldeen, Pink Floyd, Flobots, Jewel, Andrew Bird, Hunter Hays, Splashdown, Universal Hall Pass, The Glitch Mob, Pink Floyd, Faith Hill, Celine Dion, Blackmore's Night, DATA, Sufjan Stevens, Carrie Underwood, Dave Matthew's Band, Loreena Mckennitt, Lady Gaga, No Doubt, Johnny Cash, Josh Grobin, White Stripes, Enya, Type-O Negative, Abney Park, Jeff Buckley, Barenaked Ladies, Beatles. Yeah. I kinda float everywhere.

Food. I love just about every type of food and I'm not afraid to try something new. :) There isn't much I don't like, and I'm willing to try anything twice. I have a hankering to find good Thai around me and some Mediterranean food around here would be tasty. Sushi is *always* a win, and Kasai in Wadsworth is great. I like Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Indian, typical American, honestly a lot of everything. Good cheesecake is sometimes better than sex, and if you bring me brownies when I'm dealing with my period, you'll be my new favorite person.
Six things I could never do without
Is this after my basic needs are met? lol...if so,

A Computer/Internet, (does that count as two???)

No. I didn't include people in here, because people aren't things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Where my life is going, what I'll be doing, goal setting, how my kids will grow up, planning my ultimate vacation, etc.
On a typical Friday night I am
Likely watching Netflix, contemplating if Chinese/Pizza is in the budget for dinner.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Umm. . . I like cheesecake more than I should?

I've been through some pretty tough and somewhat brutal relationships, but I've come out smiling. :)
You should message me if
You think that you'd be interested in talking to me. If you have an open mind and wouldn't mind contacting me. It's all at your own risk. I'm a little weird. :P

If you made it through my entire profile and don't think I'm insane. If you aren't afraid of trying something new.

If you don't know what to say, grab the book nearest you and read me the second paragraph on page 3, and tell me why you are reading that book. It could be interesting!
The two of us