28Lafayette, United States
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My self-summary
"If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me and escape"

- My name is Chelsea.
- I have an 8 year old son (his dad and I were married but are now divorced).
- I don't know what I'm looking for here. In fact, I don't normally look. If something is meant to be, it will happen.
- I'm not looking for a father for my son. He has one. In fact, I would like to keep my love life completely separate from my son for a very long time. He will only meet someone if I am planning on being with them forever.
- I don't want someone to "take care of me". I enjoy my independence and providing for myself and my son.
- I don't want to be showered in expensive gifts or jewelry, however, I do love gift giving and would love to find someone who "gets me"...who just understands me enough to know what I would want for holidays and special occasions. Hint: Gifts that come from the heart are the best and will get you very far with me...mixtapes (CDs, playlists, whatever you want to call it now), a song, poem, video or art (something that shows creativity and feeling), sharing a new experience together (like traveling somewhere fun for the first time together or seeing a band or comedian together) or being introduced to or included in a hobby that's important to my significant other.
- Speaking of travel, I haven't done much of it but I really want to. I've never been outside of the USA and I've never been on a plane.
- I come off as an asshole even when I'm not trying to.
- I fall for songs with great lyrics. It's not about a catchy beat or what's on the top 40.
- I don't like country boys/girls. I'm sure you're all great, but I definitely have a type and you're not it (no offense).
- Chances are if you have a picture of yourself shirtless (without good reason, like swimming or something) or holding a dead animal of some sort on your profile, I won't be interested in you.
- If you immediately ask me about kik, porn, snapchat, sex, handies, blowies, boobs or anything of that nature, I won't be messaging you back.
- I like tall, skinny artistic types. That's what I'm drawn to. Great hair is a plus too! I like to have something to hold on to. ;)
- I am currently in college. My major is Creative Writing with a focus on Screenwriting and my minor is Social Media Marketing.
- I don't go out much but when I do I'm either checking out my friends' comedy shows or listening to some of my favorite local bands: The Cavemen, Rareluth, Selfawarewolf (no longer together, so sad), Carbon Poppies, Brass Bed, etc.
- I consider myself bisexual although I've never been in a relationship with a woman. I've had crushes on them and I've kissed them.
- Guilty pleasures: Long baths or sitting down in the shower while listening to good music, playing in the rain, any tv show about buying, renting, decorating or designing houses. I'm fascinated by real estate, architecture, and interior design even though it's not a career I would choose for myself.
- I'm not the type to make the first move. I'm kind of shy at first, so if I give you a "like" on here, that's your chance. Just sayin'. :)
What I’m doing with my life
I am currently in college, majoring in Screenwriting. I work a a supervisor in a retail setting...which I hate and am trying to escape. I used to be a very successful blogger and I'm trying to get back to doing that full-time so I can leave my job and focus on my writing.
I’m really good at
Being unapologetically myself
The first things people usually notice about me
My boobs. (I can't hide them unless I wear a turtle neck or something...and I'm not doing that). My glasses. My eyes. Or that I turn red easily...when I'm nervous, when I'm embarrassed, when I've been working out, and sometimes for no reason at all. Upon shaking or holding hands, I'm always told my hands are small by the opposite sex.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Prozac Nation, The Bell Jar, Catcher in the Rye, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and then I balance out all that depression with books written by comedians.

TV Shows: You're the Worst, Broad City, Workaholics, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Rec, Modern Family, Psych, Suburgatory, Dexter, How I Met Your Mother, Weeds, The Office, Big Bang Theory, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Community, Orange is the New Black, Supernatural, Californication, Criminal Minds, Shameless, New Girl, Mr. Robot, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, Gilmore Girls, Arrested Development, Scrubs, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Saturday Night Live, Girls, and 2 Broke Girls.

Movies: The United States of Leland, The Chumscrubber, Thumbsucker, Wristcutters: A Love Story, My Fair Lady, Garden State, Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, TiMER, 10 Things I Hate About You, Indecent Proposal, Boondock Saints, The Upside of Anger, Juno, Hard Candy, Daydream Nation, Easy A, Heathers, Closer, anything that has to do with Kevin Smith, Natural Born Killers, anything that has to do with Tim Burton, all of the brat pack/John Hughes movies of the 80s, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Empire Records, and (500) Days of Summer.

Music: They Might Be Giants, Melanie Martinez, Get Set Go, The Beatles, Quasi, Sarah Jaffe, Elliott Smith, David Bowie, Fall Out Boy, Perfume Genius, The Blow, The Magnetic Fields, Sia, Benji Hughes, Eminem, Kate Nash, Cake, Weezer, Tegan & Sara, Brass Bed, Wilco, Regina Spektor, The Uncluded, Grandaddy, Twenty One Pilots, Josh Ritter, Panic! at the Disco, Fiona Apple, Damien Rice, Aimee Mann, Okkervil River, The Beach Boys, Hall & Oates, M. Craft, Darwin Deez, Bright Eyes, Garfunkel & Oates, Iron & Wine, The Violent Femmes, Pixies, Amanda Palmer, and Watsky.

Food: I pretty much live off of smoothies lol. And I think it's weird to lump in food with music, movies, books and TV.
Six things I could never do without
1) Family (my son being my number 1!)
2) Friends
3) Music
4) My fluffy blanket
5) Love
6) Internet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
my future, the meaning of life, how to manage my time wisely, etc.
On a typical Friday night I am
I could be working, I could be spending time with my son, I could be out with friends, It really just depends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a blog where I am very raw, honest and vulnerable. Check it out:

Also there is a video of me on Youtube rapping "Smell Yo Dick". If you can't handle that or don't think it's even a little bit funny, don't bother. :P

It shouldn't need to be said, but this video is definitely NSFW.

My newest video is an attempt at stand-up comedy and also NSFW:
You should message me if
you can hold an actual conversation. I have had a guy start a conversation with me on here by saying, "yea". I'm not sure what he thought that would accomplish, but I was quick to end the conversation by saying "no". Don't be that guy!
The two of us