30Camarillo, United States
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My self-summary
Dear visitor,

Hello and welcome. I can promise that you won't be disappointed by this exhilarating read to follow as I have masterfully crafted a profile which perfectly reflects how deep and boldly interesting I am. Rest assured that by its conclusion you will realize that I am as cool as my mother constantly reassures me I am.
What I’m doing with my life
What, are you my fucking parents or something? Jesus, I pay the bills. Don't worry about it.

Seriously, though, I'm an engineer.
I’m really good at
Increasing entropy all up in this bitch.
The first things people usually notice about me
...that I'm hiding in the bushes... Though I'm getting better at going unnoticed.

I don't really know... I'm lanky and awkward? I guess I've been told I have ridiculously long eyelashes but they seem pretty average to me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, A Brief History of Time, Some stuff by Bill Bryson, etc.
I will be honest; I don't read that much. It's not that I'm an illiterate cretin or anything, it's just that I'm usually spending my free time on other interests that I honestly think of as more constructive. Ask me about them. They are awesome.

Movies: The Shawshank Redemption, Adaptation, Boondock Saints, Casablanca, Pulp Fiction, Dr. Strangelove and many others I can't think of.

Music: Pretty much everything from Simon and Garfunkel to Slayer. The exempt genres are hip hop and EDM which I can only listen to ironically for about 5 minutes before I snap. I'm not sure how anyone can enjoy listening to music that sounds like dial up modems raping each other.

Food: Good beer. Sushi is pretty awesome, I guess
Six things I could never do without
My dog and probably some other stuff. He's laughably awkward but also a total badass and my favorite hiking buddy.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend about 90% of my time thinking of clever palindromes and the remaining 10% pondering the mystery of why I never get laid.

I often lie awake at night wondering how many Ph.D carrying stripper are out there in the world.
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
...I kidnapped the Lindbergh baby

I was once accused of being a closet intellectual.

also, every now and then I steal road signs
You should message me if
If you feel like it, but please understand who I am first. I'm not a partier, I don't go clubbing, and I don't give a shit about fashion or anything superficial. I'm an engineering/science nerd who takes almost nothing seriously outside of the things I passionately nerd over. My free time is spent either being outdoors or staying in and nerding over some stupid project. Basically don't message me expecting me to be someone that will go bar hopping with you every weekend. But if you're looking for a dork who listens to Rush and has played d&d but still has automotive grease in his fingernail beds and the grit to trail run 15 miles and love every bit of misery that comes with it, feel free to message me. I can't, however, encourage this in good conscience

Also if you want to go climbing. Especially if you're close enough to join me at my indoor gym. I need more people to climb with because my friends are getting more and more married and boring.

Highly religious fucks need not apply. Same goes for regressive leftists who are obsessed with identity politics and all that stupid shit. Pretty much no one with a batshit insane ideology to preach. Only real people who derive their self-worth from meaningful experiences, activities they're deeply passionate about, and personal growth.

With a relative amount of regard,
The two of us