30Camarillo, United States
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My self-summary
Dear visitor,

Hello and welcome. I can promise that you won't be disappointed by this exhilarating read to follow as I have masterfully crafted a profile which perfectly reflects how deep and boldly interesting I am. Rest assured that by its conclusion you will realize that I am as cool as my mother constantly reassures me I am.
What I’m doing with my life
What, are you my fucking parents or something? Jesus, I pay the bills. Don't worry about it.

Seriously, though, I'm an engineer.
I’m really good at
Increasing entropy all up in this bitch.
The first things people usually notice about me
...that I'm hiding in the bushes... Though I'm getting better at going unnoticed.

I don't really know... I'm lanky and awkward? I guess I've been told I have ridiculously long eyelashes but they seem pretty average to me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, A Brief History of Time, Some stuff by Bill Bryson, etc.
I will be honest; I don't read that much. It's not that I'm an illiterate cretin or anything, it's just that I'm usually spending my free time on other interests that I honestly think of as more constructive. Ask me about them. They are awesome.

Movies: The Shawshank Redemption, Adaptation, Boondock Saints, Casablanca, Pulp Fiction, Dr. Strangelove and many others I can't think of.

Music: Pretty much everything from Simon and Garfunkel to Slayer. The exempt genres are hip hop and EDM which I can only listen to ironically for about 5 minutes before I snap. I'm not sure how anyone can enjoy listening to music that sounds like dial up modems raping each other.

Food: Good beer. Sushi is pretty awesome, I guess
Six things I could never do without
My dog and probably some other stuff. He's laughably awkward but also a total badass and my favorite hiking buddy.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend about 90% of my time thinking of clever palindromes and the remaining 10% pondering the mystery of why I never get laid.

I often lie awake at night wondering how many Ph.D carrying stripper are out there in the world.
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
...I kidnapped the Lindbergh baby

I was once accused of being a closet intellectual.

also, every now and then I steal road signs
You should message me if
You, too, are an enormous dork who is incapable of taking many things seriously.

With a relative amount of regard,
The two of us