56Lafayette, United States
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My self-summary
I've been divorced a year, after a 4 year separation, and recently endured the loss of my last sibling. I'm looking for friendship and laughter at this point, and then seeing where it leads.

I am a passionate and introspective guy. I dive into the things that interest me at the moment, and I like to study things and gain expertise. I think I've spent too much of my life indulging the interests of others, though. I want to meet someone who really enjoys the same things I do.

What do I enjoy? I do a lot of triathlons, but you don't have to. I do it to stay healthy, not to beat rivals---my only rivals are my own previous best performances. I like to swim because it is social, to ride bikes because it feels great to cover such beautiful territory outdoors, and to run because it's meditative. Any amount of overlap there would be great.

I love music, and I really, really like it when I am emotionally immersed in a song with another person together. There is some real, powerful bond that happens then, and I really miss having that in my life. I like rock...classic, but I am open and eager to latch on to new stuff.

I like going to movies to escape, so I like dramas that allow to imagine being in another place and feeling deep emotion, or comedies to relieve the stress of life. I don't like horror or non-stop action movies. Movies are couples activity for me; I like having that someone that I see everything with.

And who am I? I'm agnostic, but that doesn't mean non-spiritual. I think a lot about ethics, and I believe in karma. I just don't believe in the existence of supernatural beings in human form. But I have know a lot of serious Christians that I respect and have learned much from.

I'm liberal. Really liberal. It's mostly out of feeling lucky for my fortunes and a sense of responsibility to all those around me that I know who were less lucky. I try to behave as I would wish I would behave were the shoe on the other foot. I know I need a conscience in these matters, and I want a partner that is dedicated to these same ideals, one that can help me stay strong and hold to what I know I believe in, even when the going gets tough.

I am looking for a relationship that has strong Philos, Agape and Eros components. I want someone who sees the world as I do to help see it with me. Of course, we all want physical chemistry, but I want the chemistry to be strong. I want a partner that is the most gorgeous woman in the room to me, but there is so much more than the physical that is needed for it. As an agnostic, it is hard for me to see how I would have a satisfying relationship with a very religious person. My spiritual connection needs to be with another human being, not a church or unseen force of faith. I've known and admired some very introspective religious people, so I don't see it as impossible, just less likely.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm working as a software developer in my dream job, and trying to figure out what I could do that would be less stress, more service and round me out as a person. I'm trying to keep from letting myself get into a rut professionally, and to keep fresh challenges ahead of me.

I've been thrown into a situation of having to help a sister-in-law plan an early retirement, and so I am suddenly very interested in retirement issues, and am researching these.

But I want to really "live" the rest of my life. I know I enjoy travelling, but I hate to travel alone. I want to see Machu Piccu and bicycle New Zealand and see a solar eclipse, but not alone with no one to savor the memories later. I want to laugh and share joy and build shared memories of life well lived.

After spending so much of my life acquiring, I've turned now to divesting. I want to live a simple life surrounded only by the things that I really need, and not weighed down by excess possessions. It sounds simple, but it is an extraordinary effort, really.
I’m really good at
Debugging things. Analysis and research. Learning things, and writing.

Learning probably captures it. I've taught myself a lot of skills. I can learn, and appreciate, and develop. Expertise and a feeling of mastery usually causes my interest to wane though, and I tend to want a new challenge.

I like learning languages. And mathematics.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm understated.

(Hey, I thought that was funny!) I am understated, though. And I have a dry wit. I can be quiet, but I'm friendly, and I am enthusiastic about the things I love.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't read a lot of fiction. I used to like to study Shakespeare long ago, but most of my reading these days is professional study material (which I read out of a passionate interest). I like abstract math and computer languages, and mostly read for tinkering with these things.

I also like to read history and well written editorials.

Movies: Religulous, Galaxy Quest, Mystery Men,Snow Falling On Cedars, What Dreams May Come, Star Wars, Juno, Braveheart, The Shawshank Redemption, Lord of the Rings, Pan's Labyrinth, Silver Linings Playbook. Watched "Rock of Ages" a couple times recently.

TV Shows: The Daily Show, the Rachel Maddow Show, The Amazing Race, The Good Wife, and Big Bang Theory, but I don't make a point to watch any of them.

Music: Classic Rock, The Beatles, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Natalie Imbruglia, Sinead O'Connor, Sara Hickman, Bette Midler, Jackson Browne, Greatful Dead, Queen, The Rolling Stones, 10000 Maniacs, Fleetwood Mac, Shawn Colvin, Meatloaf, Jimmy Buffet, Elvis Costello,
Kid Rock, Pink, Dala

My current jones is for Irish drinking songs after a buddy introduced me to the band "Gaelic Storm". It'll pass, I'm sure, but I'm a bit obsessed with them now :)
Six things I could never do without
1. Friends
2. Music
3. Intimacy
4. Learning
5. Electronics
6. Racing. Or cheesecake. It's really a tie.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Happiness, living a good life, teaching kids responsibility, being a more compassionate person. I think a lot about the dimensions of love---friendship, attraction, beliefs, interests and attitudes, and try to learn from the history of my life. I think about the purpose of life and about what it takes to be happy.

And retirement planning.
On a typical Friday night I am
Out with friends or co-workers, or watching a movie, or just getting to bed early in preparation for a big Saturday. More the latter in the summertime. Friday nights are hard, I will admit. I miss having a go-to companion for Friday after work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not afraid to wear a purple tie. Well, maybe just a little afraid.
You should message me if
You sing out loud in the car, but would be terrified to do so with others. Or if you have a romantic fantasy that you think you would love to share but are too embarrassed. You have vulnerabilites that you want eased by sharing with only one other person. You want intimacy.

Ultimately--not on a first date :)
The two of us