Woman walks into a bar. "What'll you have?" says the bartender. "An entendre," says the woman. "Make it a double." So he gave it to her.
I am Quasimodo. Be my Esmeralda?
I have a rheumatoid inflammatory condition. And some heart problems. Thus I am unlikely to accompany you on any marathons. I will happily cheer you on, and be waiting at the finish line with a nice beverage for you as well as a big towel to wrap you in.
But I am not defined by my maladies. Just being up-front.
I've discovered that I miss being able to put my arms around someone. As that eminent philosopher Dave Attell has observed, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
A certain lack of delicate sensibilities is something I enjoy...in everyone. People are too offended by words and not offended enough by substance.
That said, I am absolutely horrified by the current occupant at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Mango Mussolini is not and will never be my President.
I like movies very much, and music. I play several instruments badly. Art is important to me, although I am more likely to look at an unusual piece and think it is cool than stroke my beard and use words like "zeitgeist" to describe it. I don't apologize for this; there's nothing wrong with liking a piece of art because it looks cool. Just ask H.R. Giger.
Movies: Anything directed by Stanley Kubrick, Terry Gilliam, Alex Proyas, and Akira Kurosawa; or starring Shintaro Katsu, Tony Jaa, Steven Chow or Chow-Yun Fat. I am also obsessed with Louise Brooks, the silent film star.
TV Shows: Iron Chef. Top Gear. Warner Brothers cartoons (preferably pre-1950--Daffy Duck was hilarious in those days, before they made him Bugs Bunny's punching bag).
Music: Loud and nasty. I have seen Slayer nine times (huh? Speak up!). On the other hand I also like Willie Nelson. And the older I get, the more I appreciate the genius of Tom Waits.
Something to read.
Mount Rainier. I lived in a place where I could only see it on really clear days for a long time; back in the valley now and loving the view.
My car. I drive a giant old Lincoln Town Car that is sort of a living room on wheels. It's like a 210-horsepower Barcalounger.