63Columbia, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Married!!!!, to someone I met here on OKC! Not interested in meeting anyone new. Unless it's a request for a saxophone to play in a community band on a night I don't already have a rehearsal.

Important information: I'm a widow. I don't have an "ex"; I had a happy marriage of over 25 years, which was abruptly cut short by my husband's sudden heart attack and stroke, in July 2010. One thing you need to know about me is that he will always be a part of me, even if the best new relationship in the world comes along. If you can't deal with that, you can go away now.

Still here? OK.

What other things are important to know about me? Well, I really like music, classical music in particular. I have already ordered my season tickets for the Baltimore Symphony for next season. I play the saxophone in several community bands, and am the music librarian for one of them. I do a little arranging/writing of concert band music, too. I like being a versatile "utility saxophone" - I get chances to play the soprano, alto, and tenor reasonably often, as well as the bari that you see in many of the photos. I would love to have someone special to come listen to our concerts, and if you do some sort of performing arts, I'd happily do the same for you.

Things I like to do: go to military band concerts in the area around the District; eat inexpensive meals out (Panera Bread, Chicken Out!, and my local diner, the Double TT, are pretty much my favorites, but lunch specials at Thai and Vietnamese restaurants are also on my list); go to museums occasionally (I like all sorts of museums, but natural history museums are my favorite) - maybe even day trips up to NYC by bus or train, to go to museums there, since my best gal pal has a phobia of NY and refuses to do that with me. I used to ride a motorcycle; had to sell it because of health concerns (if you've ever ridden, you know that the question of "when it's time" to stop varies from person to person, but everyone should recognize his or her limits eventually.) I still have all my gear, though, so I'm ready if you have a bike! I like live theater, and I like jazz (although I find the most random far edges of the jazz genre to be rather difficult to listen to) and would go to more of those kind of performances if I had someone to go with. I like to cook dinner occasionally, but it's a pain to bother for one person. Someone to eat with would mean I could cook up a curry or some chili or my famous-amongst-those-who-know-me baked macaroni and cheese, and not have to eat leftovers of the same thing all week long.

Things I'm *willing* to do in the spirit of mutual companionship: go to baseball games, car races, dog or cat shows, go to other types of concerts besides classical. I can tolerate very limited amounts of opera.

I like board games. I'm not particularly good at them, but I enjoy them. I'm an adequate Scrabble player, and I know the secret to speeding up a Monopoly game so that it can be finished in only one evening. Adequate at Trivial Pursuit but weak in the movies/TV/sports areas.

Things I refuse to go to: any sort of fighting/wrestling/martial arts. Roller-coasters or other thrill-rides (but I do love going to the state fair, even if I don't ride the rides on the midway!). Things involving parachutes. Casinos - no interest whatsoever in any of the gambling establishments currently sprouting up all over MD.

Things I'm hopeless at, so if that's what you're looking for, alas, I'm no help: cards - I can barely play gin rummy and have never been able to understand bridge, or poker, or canasta - or Mah Jongg, for that matter. I can't dance. Hiking - I have trouble walking more than 200 feet or so without stopping to rest. Discussions of why exercise *won't* help that would wait till we're talking. Sorry, no long walks on the beach.

What else? I have pets - a cat, an elderly rabbit, two guinea pigs. That's the fewest pets I've had in years; I do miss having chinchillas and hedgehogs, but there's a limit to what I can take care of alone compared to when there were two of us to do all the cleaning. I sold my house in 2012 and bought a condo, and the smaller amount of space limits pets, as well. It also means that I have way too much stuff, which I am still sorting through and slowing pruning down to what fits. I'll probably always own more books than the average bear, but I've reduced them from previous levels.

I read science fiction, murder mysteries, humor, popular science, liberal political thought, and about 40 magazines a month.

A quick word about distances: I spent 24 years living in Texas, where notions of distance are quite different. At one point, from where we were living, in Austin, to where we had band rehearsal, in Austin, was 37 miles. I still have that same sense that anything that takes less than an hour to get to is local (as long as I can find a parking space at the end of it). Arlington, VA is about the outer edge of my "local" area at the moment; the District is local IF there's parking.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm retired. I've got congestive heart failure. Implanted ICD (defibrillator/pacemaker). Basketful of meds to take every day. Fun. I'm in good shape for the shape I'm in, though! I avoid the obesity that often comes with the condition by watching my diet carefully; I am convinced, too, that spending several evenings a week playing the saxophone is part of what keeps me healthier than I should be in this condition!

Before I retired, what I did was fascinating to me, constantly interesting and challenging, but it's the sort of thing where many people fall over sound asleep before I finish the sentence, so you stand forewarned: Senior financial analyst at the TX Dept. of Insurance, doing solvency monitoring of property-casualty insurance companies. I also was part-time adjunct faculty at a private university, teaching required introductory computer science courses to the freshthings.

I have community band rehearsals at least three nights a week most of the year. I play at least one concert every month; some months it's every week. Things are a little quieter after the 4th of July weekend up through Labor Day, than they are the rest of the year.

I knit a lot - and you can take knit as shorthand for "do a lot of fiber/yarn/fabric-y/craftsy things" - everybody who knows me tends to get stuck with a homemade gift sooner or later, and one of my goals in life is to make sure that every single one of my (so far) 40 nieces and nephews and 17 great-nieces and -nephews has something I've made for them, before I die.

Oh - this will probably count against me, but I might as well admit it up front: yes, I play FarmVille on Facebook.
I’m really good at
Carrying a conversation. Putting together kit furniture. Not playing in the rests. Quickly putting things into alphabetical order or numerical order or score order. Disguising my chronic illness so that it looks almost as though I can lead a normal life. Baked macaroni-and-cheese. Reading aloud.
The first things people usually notice about me
I talk a lot. (Admit it: you already noticed that's a damn long self-summary.) And when I talk, I sound pretty much exactly the way I sound in writing, or perhaps it's vice versa.

And I look younger than my age. Most people assume I'm between 40 and 45 when they meet me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Science fiction, murder mysteries, pop science. Asimov, Clarke, earlier Heinlein (but not his juvies; those sucked.) Anything by Calvin Trillin. The late Will Cuppy. /I, Freddy/ and the rest of the Golden Hamster series. /Rats, Lice and History/; /Guns, Germs and Steel/. Miles VorKosigan is the best science fiction hero ever. Kage Baker's Company series was better in the earlier books than the later ones. Currently reading /Thinking, Fast and Slow/ by Daniel Kahneman - that falls into the pop science category, I guess. I've read all five of the Game of Thrones books so far - it wouldn't be precise to say I /liked/ them, but they are fascinating and intricate. (No, I have not seen the TV show.)

I don't watch TV much - I watch the Rachel Maddow show a couple nights a week, when I remember to, and I occasionally watch episodes of some of the "hoarder" shows to spur me to continue sorting stuff out and giving it away.

I've probably seen more movies in the past two years than in my entire life before that - this dating stuff does seem to involve movies! Most of the ones I've liked best are the sort that would be described as "quirky" - Moonrise Kingdom, Quartet, Robot & Frank.

Classical music, jazz (especially saxophone), folk music and sea chanteys. John Williams' film scores. Sousa marches. Great Big Sea. The Kingston Trio. The Chad Mitchell Trio. The Nuclear Whales. I studied early music for a while, and can still sing a few very depressing Elizabethan songs, and play the recorder. I like classical music humor - Peter Schikele, Anna Russell. Flanders & Swann. I prefer Steeleye Span's version of "Tam Lin" over Fairport Convention's. Also I can sing far too many Tom Lehrer lyrics. Khatchaturian's 2nd Symphony. Johan de Meij's "Lord of the Rings" symphony, the original band version. I like some 60's and 70's rock (I can sing as much of "American Pie" and "Bohemian Rhapsody" as most people our age can), and I sing along with the radio when someone has it tuned to an oldies station. I sing along with jukeboxes, too. That's something I should probably warn people about - I sing in public. My whole family sings in public, whether we can sing or not. I fall into the "can carry a tune adequately" category, so I don't scare the neighbors' dogs, but if you are the sort of person who is totally mortified at someone singing for no particular reason, then I'm the sort of person who would mortify you.

Food? Anything except soft-boiled eggs or rhubarb. I love Indian, Thai, Vietnamese as well as Italian, Greek... although I have to watch what I order and how much, because I have to watch my sodium intake closely. My kitchen shelves contain far too much tea, with oolong predominating; many kinds of chutney, and a lot of baking spices. Although I'm not a vegetarian, I lean in that direction a lot of the time, and what I cook at home is vegetarian or chicken or seafood rather than mammals. I've got a pretty good vegan cashew chili recipe.
Six things I could never do without
Ah, this section is hard. I have been doing without for almost three years now the one thing I most thought I couldn't live without, my husband, and the fact that I've managed to get this far should, I suppose, be a lesson for me that there are very few things I can't do without. But in the spirit of the question:
Eyeglasses (well, that would be related to the books, wouldn't it!)
My baritone saxophone.
My pets.
The computer.
My loyalty cards for the supermarket, the drugstore, the pet store, and Panera Bread. :D
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What book to read next. DIY projects for around the house. Mentally rehearsing my parts for music.

I know it's common here to say that one thinks about some big philosophical issue, or how to solve some big global crisis, or how to improve oneself in some major way - but mostly, I don't think about those things a lot, and I'm not going to say I do. I think about how to live my day-to-day life, about the near future, about what to have for supper. I think about the book I just read, the book I'm currently reading, the next book in my stack. I think about music, a lot. I think about what I can do to stay connected with my large and far-flung family. I think about doing things to fix up around the condo far more often than I actually DO anything about it.

I still think about my late husband a lot - I can try not to mention him too much, but it would be dishonest to say that his name will never come up. There are still moments when I burst into tears, and you won't know what the heck set me off. Best I can tell you for that one is, wait it out - you don't have to "fix" anything; you're alive and here, and he's not, and that's all it takes for you to "win" any comparisons I might be tempted to make. I do a decent job of getting myself back on track fairly quickly when I happen to derail on thoughts of him.
On a typical Friday night I am
Eating an eggplant parmigiana sub. Attending a Baltimore Symphony Orchestra concert, in season. Grocery shopping. Browsing the aisles in Home Depot for fun; one never knows when a project for the weekend will suddenly bloom fully-formed in my mind. Playing with my pets. Picking up prescriptions at the drug store. Making last minute plans for Saturday.

Want to help me improve that? Know of any free classical, jazz, or folk concerts this Friday night?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I change this section at random times just to see if anybody notices or cares. (As far as I can tell, the answer to that is no, nobody notices or cares.) I'm teaching myself to play the euphonium, and I'm pretty awful at it, and I really don't care how much it annoys the neighbors.
You should message me if
You feel like saying hi. Or you play in a community band. Or you're interested in going to concerts. Or you want to talk about music or books, or some other interest we have in common. Or you just feel like saying hi. Saying hi is nice.

I feel flattered when I get a message that shows evidence that you've actually read this entire profile, and checked out the match questions and maybe the tests and personality graph, even.

You shouldn't message me if:
You're less than half my age, and looking for a "cougar." Wrong number.
The book you want to talk about is the Bible. Not interested.
The two of us