Why you should not date me
an essay by Stevie
I love chickens. You love eating chickens. This is bound to create some awkward moments where I ask you politely to maybe not eat dinosaurs in front of me. I'll make you amazing vegetarian food instead that you'll have to 1) like 2) not like 3) pretend to like.
I'm not really male or female, which is weird, and learning new pronouns is work. Maybe it'll be confusing when someone calls me she or they. There's a lot of easier cis-bros out there to date, ones that aren't feminists and who are ok with the system. Oh, and I'm mostly some kind of lesbian or something, except when I date men? It's confusing. People should really stick to neat little color-coded boxes.
I probably drink too much. When I do drink, I talk loudly about gay sex. When I don't drink, I talk loudly about gay sex.
I love lots of people, and don't have a lot of free time because there's lots of people to love and there's so many books to read. I'm already someone else's girlfriend so there may eventually be confusing feelings.
I go nude camping. That's weird. I should be more ashamed of my body, but I'm usually not. Like, my armpits aren't even shaved! In public!
I spend lots of time doing things, like volunteering and art, that don't make money, so that's a waste. I also have a job that makes a lot of money, so I don't have that starving artist vibe. I have a car, which isn't cool, but I bike everywhere I can, which means I sweat.
I think you should do you. That's an awfully cliche phrase, and wouldn't it be nicer to have someone to control you so you don't have to make as many decisions yourself?
<3 cats, but I'm allergic, but it's ok, thanks modern medicine.
<3 queers and dancing and dancing queers
<3 climbing, biking, standing on my head
<3 board games
<3 art and making software
Folding t-shirts into burritos.
Good vegetarian/vegan food. Sushi.
Trashy pop and queer folk music.
Battlestar Galactica, Orange is the New Black, PuppyCat.
OMG STEVEN UNIVERSE!
Good conversation over coffee
If I don't respond right away I'm at work or otherwise busy (or just thinking of sown thing clever to say), don't just deactivate your account! _._