I commute a half hour down to Westminster, MD, and work for a local energy company, selling residential heating oil. The job is very new, but I'm excited. The company is family owned, and the warm office culture is something that was decidedly lacking in my previous careers. Honestly, this is the first time work has felt like I might have room for a real life outside of the office. Leaving retail scheduling for a M-F gig is pretty exciting in and of itself, too.
Oh, and right now, I'm living at home with my parents. The lack of privacy and the dynamics of being an adult child living at home are strange, but I am lucky my parent's offered me back my bedroom to make paying down the financial fallout from an abusive ex, possible.
Reading an entire series and not remembering the main character's name.
Cooking. You will never starve while dating me. (I feed people when I like them.)
Using anything as an excuse to hideout with the pup, and a book.
Taking the bull by the horns.
Not letting chronic depression kill me.
I'm non-religious, but Heinlein and Vonnegut are sort of my patron saints of rational thought. I like how quietly hopeful each of them makes me feel, despite their calling out society, in all its shitty glory.
I'm amending this to the six things I could never do without in a relationship:
Mutual respect and care. (Is that two? Whatever.)
Direct, honest, frequent communication. (Passive aggressive men make me bonkers. I don't want to be bonkers. I want to feel like you trust and respect me enough to be honest about how and why you feel the way you feel.) I like hearing from the person I'm dating. If you go radio silent for a few days, unexpectedly, especially after we've met in person, I'm interpreting it as, "he's not that into me."
A lot of touch time. (Sexual and non-sexual.) Cuddles, bro. I'm a hand holder. Not so much into PDA like public makeout sessions, but I love your hand on the small of my back walking through a crowd, or sitting on the same side of the table so my leg touches yours. If you don't like casual, non-sexual touch, I'm not the right girl. Also, I am high drive. If I'm dating you, and we like each other enough to get naked, I want to get naked. Real life makes schedules tough, but absent of outside obligations, I aim for at least daily sex.
A partner who wants to actually be partners. I deeply appreciate it when you show up, and contribute--especially in the domesticity of daily life.
Alone, together time. Sometimes, it's a blast to meet up with friends, play tourist, try a new restaurant, go for a hike, whatever. Realistically, though, I want to actually enjoy the relationship time spent in the downtime between big plans and socializing. I need *a lot* of book/puppy/partner cuddle time that isn't actively entertaining my partner. Play your video game. Read next to me. Dick around on your phone on Reddit. I appreciate "doing our own thing in the same room" time.
What I think I want in a partner vs. how those same attributes could slowly drive me crazy.
Whether or not physical chemistry is as important to me now, as it was in choosing partners in my twenties.
How to avoid filling a role or being a hole, instead of being appreciated as myself in my future relationships.
What changes I can make in my daily life to be happier in a week, month, year...
How to avoid doing this.
Routine. (Slow death? Better
I'm not great at going back out once I've made it home, so weeknight social time is tough to talk me into.
I think most of my homebody tendencies come from not wanting to leave the pup, though. I'm definitely more social if the activity allows for him, too.