38Canton, United States
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My self-summary
Some background on me, I was born in the remote village of Habibi in the outskirts of Djibouti to an Albanian prostitute where I was raised by an ascetic monk in the Azerbaijan Mountains before moving to Croatia at the age of 5. At the age of 15 I was conscripted into the Croatian military where I served as a janitorial technician in Iran. After moving to Florida, I followed my mother’s footsteps and roamed the streets as a prostitute, selling bjs for a couple of bucks. After a brief stint in rehab, I turned my life around and became a personal trainer. In the past several years I've hunted with the indigenous tribes of Sri Lanka, found a few previously unknown star clusters with nothing more than my grandmothers magnifying glass, some duct tape and tinfoil, and have had a statue erected in honor of me in Uzbekistan for peace negotiations with the native Titthibhalad tribe.

Let’s take a moment to figure out who I really am and what it is I am looking for in a person. I have a long profile. I am clear in what I want, if reading isn’t your forte, you may want to turn around now. Clearly from the first paragraph I am a goofball who likes to joke. My name is Kris, I have been in my field of work my entire adult life. It’s not a job, it’s a career. I run the corrosion monitoring group at an oil refinery. I have anywhere from 20 plus people working for me day in and day out. I have my priorities in life in order and look for the same in a partner. I fall into the category of nice guy who would give the shirt off his back for someone more than I would for douchebag who uses people for his own personal gain. I am an honest, trustworthy, confident man who realizes he brings a lot to the table yet doesn’t act arrogantly about it. That said, I am not the guy who lets people walk all over me and I don’t do drama, games and tests. It mildly saddens me that the bar has slowly been set lower by the masses of how someone should act these days but that said, I expect a lot out of people I bring into my life.

My expectations in a partner are high. Call me picky I guess, but I’ve dated enough since getting divorced that I know what I want. Insecurity doesn’t set well with me. If you post pictures everyday on Facebook or Instagram to get validation by the boys on your friend list, we won’t get along well. If your fun list includes hanging out at the bar every night, getting high, or being on dating sites to see how many guys will carry on a conversation with you because your self-esteem sucks, we won’t get along. I’m also not interested in women currently separated, currently married looking to play the field or those recently divorced looking to ride the cock carousel. If I send you a message my recommendation to you is to bring it. By that I mean one or two word answers will cause me to tap out and move on to the next person whose profile piques my interest. If you can’t carry on a conversation to save your life I have no interest in meeting you. The ability to carry on a conversation and witty banter are important to me. More important than a lot of other things combined. My other expectations in someone I meet on here are they are honest, are someone I can trust, they don’t have the personality of a potato and can have fun. Big list I know, sadly most people can’t bring that minimalist list these days.
What I’m doing with my life
Making new lanes and paving them.

Raising the bar. I'm not a limbo dancer ;)
I’m really good at
Having fun but knowing when it's time to be serious and buckle down.
Dealing with people and understanding different people need to be handled in different ways.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm almost always smiling and trying to get others to smile also.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite tv shows are Big Bang Theory, most anything on the Food Network, Discovery or History Channels. Music wise I like pretty much anything from country to rap.
Six things I could never do without
My kids
Sadly now my cellphone
Food Network
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why people make life so complicated.
On a typical Friday night I am
starting an epic adventure.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My dishwasher has racks on racks.
You should message me if
you want to.
The two of us