55Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
A) Draza Mihajlovic: "Fate threw me into this maelstrom. I wanted much, I began much and then the gale of the world carried me away.
B) Teddy Roosevelt: "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
C) Dr. Onur Gunturkun: "A kiss is still an osculatory apposition of the orbicularis oris and levator labii muscles with posterior involvement of the sternocleidomastoids, commonly in a dexterous orientation."
What I’m doing with my life
A) Controlling
B) Poetry
C) Underwater tatooing
I’m really good at
A) Putting words together
B) Walking, chewing gum, rubbing belly, patting head and knife throwing
C) Jury duty
The first things people usually notice about me
A) Elusive
B) Conclusive
C) Incisive
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A) Dickens, Cassavetes, TAL/OTM/WTF, Richman & thoughtful
B) Geisel, Fuller, David, Cohen & non-toxic
C) Neurosurgery For Dummies, Ishtar II: Iraqapalooza (dailies), ATM surveillance footage, a tree falling in the woods, & gefilte fish
Six things I could never do without
A) Folsom points, ducking stools, zoetropes (actually, I do miss those), mimeograph machines, micro-fiche, eight-track tapes
B) Kleenex, Astro-turf, Xerox, Zamboni, Styrofoam & Band-Aids
C) transcendence, noise, serendipity, curiosity, quiet & serenity
I spend a lot of time thinking about
A) How to use the subjunctive tense
B) Art is the lie that tells the truth
C) Look upon my works ye mighty and despair
On a typical Friday night I am
A) Meeting your parents
B) Acupuncture
C) No acupuncture
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
A) Birth
B) Flying solo, non-stop from New York to Paris
in 1927 and when I get off my plane, my zipper is undone. Oh
wait, that's Charles Lindbergh.
C) My second stroke
You should message me if
A) You are serene, sweet, smart & sexy.
B) You don't expect dancing until we have a joint checking account.
C) You won't laugh if I say:

There you go, already laughing at how we came to be what we are and what we hope to be from now on. I can only imagine the space between people that reels across oddly shaped paper with a savory commotion.

The sloppy soft rapture of me alone with you lies dangerously close to either joyful noise or fearful symmetry until reflected light reveals the shape of things beneath our secretly shared reverie.

If only all the rest who noisily prepare for flight were found still tingling along the pale sloping waters that seldom end patiently. Here and elsewhere an accumulated presence walks through me; the same way nothing never happens.

****** Your ad should not contain the following words unless they are meant ironically:
sassy, don't own a television, edge, edgy, bad boy, cool or hot (non-temperature usage), rock (as a verb), as comfortable in a tux as he is in jeans, fine dining, comfortable in your/my own skin, long walks [on the beach / in the rain / at sunset], indie film, partner in crime, quirky, spunky, awesome (non-theological usage), soul mate, emoticons, dude, hip (non-anatomical usage), David Sedaris etc.

A special note on "chemistry" I think some of you are expecting some sort of magical, instantaneous, movie romance connection. While this isn't impossible, it is, at best, unlikely. Trust me; a rapport that you make is much better than one that you find. Anyone can find lust at first sight, but love takes longer. Now you can get back to the funny.

Also, what's with all the requests for "someone who is nice to the waitstaff"? Are imperious asses that pervasive?

I notice that many of you put some legal boilerplate at the bottom of your profiles warning people not to disseminate the content of your profiles. First, any competent attorney will tell you that this has no legal weight, especially since, in opening a profile, you've agreed to terms and conditions that obviate such a declaration.

Also, remember that most of us have already revealed intimate details about our sexual preferences, political leanings and religious beliefs in the “The Two of Us” questionnaire. If you think that the corporate overlords running this site are not already sharing this information with their corporate overlord buddies, then you haven’t been reading the news lately. Maybe it’s “anonymized”, maybe not; but it’s out there.

So here’s a real warning that you can put at the bottom of your profile that will truly deter the squeamish:

Any person and/or institution using this website or any of its associated websites, you do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile information nor any of the content contained herein including but not limited to my PHOTOS. You are hereby notified that you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action with regard to this profile and the contents herein. The foregoing prohibitions also apply to your employee(s), agent(s), student(s) or any personnel under your direction or control. The contents of this profile are private and legally privileged and confidential information; violation of my personal privacy is punishable by my unleashing of a team of highly trained and highly motivated raccoon assassins. Yes, they will begin by knocking over your garbage cans and harassing your pets, but will quickly move on to wrecking your credit rating, getting you fired and then finishing you off with a series of antics that are simultaneously blood-curdling and adorable.

On a related note, why is there not a beloved cartoon character based on the raccoon? We’ve got Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse and a variety of other characters built on non-charismatic animal models. Raccoons have the bandit mask, the stripped tail, the hand-like paws and the mischievousness already built in. Setting aside, my above mentioned nefarious use of raccoons, I think we’re missing a real marketing opportunity here. So if anyone does launch a world-wide marketing campaign using the Procyon lotor, make sure to get me my 10% and a “Creative Consultant” credit.
The two of us