34 Madison, United States
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My self-summary
Oh...I guess I'm supposed to do some serious introspection here and write something incredibly profound. Okay, I'll come back to this part later. (I suppose I could have just said "I'm a procrastinator." and been done with it. But dammit! I'm making an effort for you! Yes YOU!)

What I’m doing with my life
Reveling in the misfortunes of Lindsay Lohan not caring what you think about that.
I’m really good at
...absorbing trivial knowledge that will only help me if I finally achieve my goal of appearing on Jeopardy!
The first things people usually notice about me
...is my somewhat offbeat, irreverent sense of humor. It does take a little getting used to but once you get me, you get me for life
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Despite having no desire to be judged soley on my entertainment choices, I'm going to go ahead and throw a few things out there just so people can't say that I'm not being a good sport.

Books: "Ready, Okay!" by Adam Cadre, "Christ: Crisis in the Life of God" by Jack Miles, "Sock" by Penn Jillette

Movies: Oh geez...I'll watch anything. I have no standards. To prove that, I will now publically admit to having seen "The Ladies Man" in the freaking theater! The only movie I have ever walked out on due to sheer boredom was "Fast Food Nation" (read the book. It's 1000x more interesting!).

Music: I'm the one keeping Britney Spears in business. I wish I were joking.
The six things I could never do without
Sarcasm, Snark, Innuendo, Intillegent Conversation, Inane Conversation, and Buffalo Wings (I would have put that last one in the box above but I'm doing this on MY terms!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Every conversation, IM, email, phone call, and text message I sent or received throughout the day. I dissect them and read completely new meaning into each one until I'm satisfied with the interpretation. To be clear, in this context "satisfied" means that I have successfully uncovered a hidden conspiracy or something equally dramatic.
On a typical Friday night I am
...looking for ways to resolve the perpetual ennui that constitutes my life at present.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I would totally get a tattoo on my penis if:
a) I could find a qualified artist willing to do it
b) I could decide on a sufficiently clever thing to put on it.

(Suggestions for either accepted!
You should message me if
Oh I'm a total conversation junkie. Any pretext you come up with will work just fine.