28College Park, United States
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My self-summary
Welcome to the wild and wondrous world of online dating. I'll be your host, Agidius Megalapalos. Just kidding, not telling you my name... go home you're drunk.

I am the Greek god of sophisticated taste, hot sauces of level 7 and higher, false irony, and finding a way to just barely squeeze into your tight schedule using witty double entendre.

But honestly...
I'm more curious about who you are, what makes you come alive,
what you're passionate about, and how we vibe.
Do you think about the world, are you confident in yourself,
are you a woman or a girl, or an adorable little elf?

Ten facts about me:
0. I like to build and fix things
1. Everyone loved me in middle school
2. I'm totally not afraid of butterflies, totally 100%, yup
3. I think that animals are people too
4. I make a mean batch of french fries
5. I have an enormously satisfying sense of humility
6. My eyes see in at least 1080p
7. Parents love me
8. I'm attracted to strong, independent women
9. I'm wondering if you're her

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
What I’m doing with my life
First thing in the morning, I run to the bathroom and take an enormously large shameless look at myself, and reflect on the day to come in all its trials and tribulations.

I typically place 5 - 7 cm of toothpaste on the bristled end of my toothbrush before vigorously cleaning for at least 500 strokes while passionately humming our nations anthem to the rhythm of the brush.

My showers are frequently hot, wet, and steamy. I move around a lot making sure to hit all the right spots. I know all the right spots.

Then I do other stuff that people pay me for.
I’m really good at
Finding out exactly what you want, how you want it, and giving to you the way you like it.

Going fast. Going slow. Going sideways. Blowing nose.
Teasing cats. Hitting home. Swinging bats. Wielding a comb.

Developing complex software systems.
On a typical Friday night I am
Why, are you asking me out? ;)
You should message me if
If you are confident, smart, entertaining, and fun, come find me immediately.
The two of us