I am the Greek god of sophisticated taste, hot sauces of level 7 and higher, false irony, and finding a way to just barely squeeze into your tight schedule using witty double entendre.
I'm more curious about who you are, what makes you come alive,
what you're passionate about, and how we vibe.
Do you think about the world, are you confident in yourself,
are you a woman or a girl, or an adorable little elf?
Ten facts about me:
0. I like to build and fix things
1. Everyone loved me in middle school
2. I'm totally not afraid of butterflies, totally 100%, yup
3. I think that animals are people too
4. I make a mean batch of french fries
5. I have an enormously satisfying sense of humility
6. My eyes see in at least 1080p
7. Parents love me
8. I'm attracted to strong, independent women
9. I'm wondering if you're her
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
I typically place 5 - 7 cm of toothpaste on the bristled end of my toothbrush before vigorously cleaning for at least 500 strokes while passionately humming our nations anthem to the rhythm of the brush.
My showers are frequently hot, wet, and steamy. I move around a lot making sure to hit all the right spots. I know all the right spots.
Then I do other stuff that people pay me for.
Going fast. Going slow. Going sideways. Blowing nose.
Teasing cats. Hitting home. Swinging bats. Wielding a comb.
Developing complex software systems.