50Cheltenham, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice with my bare hands. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas and occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up inclines with unflagging speed, I am an expert in Akido, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. I am the subject of numerous documentaries, I build large suspension bridges in my back garden, I enjoy urban hang gliding.

Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy eveningwear. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless pool shark. I have a golf handicap of 4. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.

Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I sleep once a week. When I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are paid on time.

On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a whisk and a sandwich toaster.

I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and chess tournaments at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

News update: I am currently out of the office but will be back shortly
What I’m doing with my life
Living, working, cooking, driving, reading, eating, watching, listening, laughing, running, sleeping, looking, resting, studying
I’m really good at
Putting the moon on a stick
The first things people usually notice about me
Nothing, I am invisible to the naked eye
Six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Yes I do
On a typical Friday night I am
Thinking about.....
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Some of the things in my self summary are lies
The two of us