31Grand Rapids, United States
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My self-summary
I am far from a finished product.

I like to have fun, whether that's just sitting around and watching movies or playing video games, or heading out on the town for some adventures.

I alternate between very caring and dangerously narcissistic. I may not always say or do the right thing, and I may not always seem like I care, but I always have good intentions. That said, I have a very sarcastic side to me. REALLY sarcastic. I've made my friends cry. I used to be a psych major so I tend to overanalyze things, including myself, but I'd like to think I am good at identifying my own faults, although I don't always try to fix them.

Tell me a good fart or poop story and I will laugh hysterically. Arrested development much?

Cockram is my real last name, not a lame pick-up line.
What I’m doing with my life
Selling dreams to kids as a pro audio salesman at Guitar Center. I have a degree from Ferris in Music Industry Management, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind. That being said, I like my job (most of the time) and I am very quickly moving my way up. Most other big time goals (career, family, etc) have sort of taken a backseat for now.
I’m really good at
being awesome. playing guitar. telling inappropriate jokes at very appropriate times. being a jerk. quickly apologizing for said behavior. analyzing. over-analyzing. not ending sentences with prepositions. laughing. playing drums. sort of OK at playing bass.
The first things people usually notice about me
I look like Seth Rogen, supposedly.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'll keep this short because I don't really like listing all of my favorites.

Fight Club - Chuck Pahlaniuk

The Big Lebowski

How I Met Your Mother, Its Always Sunny, The League, Archer, The Office (UK and US)


Buffalo wings and IPA.
Six things I could never do without
A fan near my bed
Sour Patch Kids
The Coen Brothers
Raspberry Ice Crystal Light
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whether god exists
My Les Pauls
the inevitable zombie apocalypse
remembering how to spell apocalypse
if Brits call zombies "sombies"
On a typical Friday night I am
Working or relaxing with some choice hops. Possibly karaoke(ing?).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm kind of scared of frogs.

I have restless leg syndrome.
You should message me if
-you fight in the war room.
-you're a real cinderella story.
-you don't call me Shirley.
-you have much to do and less time to do it in.
-you can make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs.
-you really tie the room together.
-you married Linda Cooksey.
-you'll give me asthma.
-you've got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours because every other fucker in your department is fucking ill.
-you shop smart, shop S-Mart.
-you've ever fired your guns up into the air and yelled "Ahhhh".
-you don't tip.
-you're part eggplant.
-you're in lesbians with me.
-you go back and to the left.

-you can name any of the above references.

If I contact you and you are not interested, don't be rude and ignore me, because I probably won't take the hint anyways. Just tell me. I will always respond to a message.
The two of us