checcard
55 Pittsburgh, United States
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checcard
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My self-summary
It's safe to say I'm the guy next door with an edge that most wouldn't suspect (a good kind of edge). I enjoy life and work hard. I need to take more time out to play hard as well. I returned to Pittsburgh to be closer to family after losing a close family member--and have been trying to find my stride since getting here. Was working in NYC for about 14-15 years before this. Went to CMU and Columbia, and have worked at Cornell and Columbia, and now at Pitt. I'm a geek that writes a lot of grants and passionate about neuroscience and all translational areas of research. But I don't do science any more just find funding for it and manage that funding.

I'm trying to be less cynical (it's a facade) so read on with an open mind--I'm not a snob, prude nor holier-than-though, I just write (type) faster than I think. I'm kinda intellectual but also kinda trailer trash too. It's the southern boy in me...I'm trying to fit my square peg into round holes (oops, badly timed pun but I'll leave it go).
What I’m doing with my life
Wow, that creates a lot of expectations and I am already too hard on myself. But I work for a university and have worked in academia for over 20 years--but I never completed my degree. Go figure. Cream rises to the top? meh. I tend to believe I am just determined and have the work ethic from my father and his family: hearty country stock that negotiated the depression and WWII and came out on top but we're also just good people. I strive to follow their example and hope to not disappoint their legacy. But that being said I am ultra liberal and my own person, but if my grandmother looked down at me on any given day she would close her eyes and shake her head, but smile and not be surprised one bit--she'd blush but still give me a hug. I don't know, I went back to school at Columbia because they were silly enough to accept me. I'm majored in undergraduate sex and Middle Eastern Studies....with an interest in anthropology and film studies, but at the moment I am just very overworked. I am back in Pittsburgh now and trying to figure it all out. I work at Pitt and am looking at what the next step will be and where it will lead me.
I’m really good at
Wow. I'm really good at being critical of myself and accepting of others. I also am really good at finding someone's g-spot? Or at least working for a very long time to find it. I am nothing if not determined (and only half kidding).

I'm a good cook, almost god-like (kidding-- I don't even know if I believe in God--Buddha saves?) I'm good at listening objectively but calling you out on your BS (and expect others to call me on mine). My friends call me Dolly Lama. I try to do right but can fall into that cynical rut that comes with being an ex- New Yorker. If I were to leave the US it will be for Paris, the Middle East, China, or London. I love my family and the U.S. but don't know if I can live outside NYC except maybe DC or SF... maybe Pittsburgh will work again--we will see.

I'm good at relaxing, but can party with the best of them...just in moderation. I'm good at ignoring labels and stereotypes. I am an equal opportunity employer. A friend has said my taste is like the United Colors of Benetton. I am blind to race, age, and body type. Your brain should excite me and the rest is a bonus. 21-70, all races, incomes, body types. But baggage is only tolerated if you're self-aware and working on it. I'm not your mother, teacher, preacher, or therapist. I support your exploration of things you would rather not have known--but am NOT an enabler.
The first things people usually notice about me
I don't really know. I get run into a lot on the street so maybe people don't really notice me! ;-)

I guess I've been told I have a good ass, good hair, nice lips, and that my brain is sexy. I don't know...I think I have a big penis but I really don't so how can I be objective about any of this? (Is that joke off-puttin?) It works well. So what if I have this delusion? But why should I believe what others say or notice about me? ;-) IF thus far my sarcasm has turned you off just move to the next profile. I have no agenda and my picture is not fabulous but it isn't a glamour shot or professional head shot, I'm not flexing my biceps in a mirror at the gym, and the photo was NOT taken in the bathroom mirror. If that's what you're looking for you selected the wrong profile. Also, if you have any of the above in your profile I am likely to ignore your advances (but you're not messaging me anyway so we are all good)! Actually I'll likely check out your pretty pictures but I'm a realist--we are only a match if you're less superficial than you appear, because, hey, it's a dating site and we all know how marketing and advertising works in 2016.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: This list, and the "music" and "food" lists, will be an ongoing work in progress because I inevitably think about this and then another book pops into mind that I cannot believe slipped my mind. It's also not meant to intimidate or be stuffy. I just like stuff a lot and sometimes lists like this make me remember them fondly and allow me to revisit that joy! . Recently published books that come to mind are: Bel Canto (Ann Patchett), White Teeth (Zadie Smith), The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (Michael Chabon), The Imperfectionists (Tom Rachman), Atonement (Ian McEwen), and anything by Cormac McCarthy (and everytime I read a synopsis for one of his books I thought, "meh" and then eventually picked them up and loved them). That leads me to just listing writers and there are a few that I find almost infallible: Salmam Rushdie, Philip Roth, Toni Morrison, Margaret Atwood, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Haruki Murakami, J.K. Rowling (though I hate to admit it--my favorite was the Half Blood Prince), Jeanette Winterson (if you have not read 'Written on the Body' then I will give you a copy), A.S. Byatt ('Possession', among others, but the movie was cloying). That's just a few favorites and doesn't include any of the standard classics. A more interesting question here would have been books that were highly regarded that we did not like! You might think these are great. I think they are overrated, whether because they are simply badly written (The Historian, The Memory Keeper’s Daughter), pretentious prattle (Absurdistan, Special Topics in Calamity Physics, Everything is Illuminated), boring (Life of Pi), overrated due to serious subject matter (Lovely Bones), well written but uninteresting (Bee Season, Wickett’s Remedy), or fatally flawed due to oversimplification of a truly horrid situation (The Kite Runner). Now that's a conversation starter list! Oh, and I haven't read Freedom (Jonathan Franzen) yet. I need to pick it up for next month's reading enjoyment.

Movies: 12 Angry Men, Kiss Me Deadly, The Killing, The Big Lebowski, My Cousin Vinny, Tropic Thunder, The Blues Brothers... 'Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now', Best In Show, The Fountainhead, A Single Man (some days I feel like George and other days I feel like Charley, but in general I'm most like Kenny--just a little older), Notorious (no dream is too B.I.G.), Casino, Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, The Lion In Winter (hands down probably my #1 favorite but I just can't completely commit to anything being #1), Notorious (the one with Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman), One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Dog Day Afternoon, Soylent Green, Aliens, Donnie Darko, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Streetcar Named Desire, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Requiem For a Dream, Wall-E (yeah, yeah, I can't help it), Memento, Up (come ON Pixar is the shit), City of God, There Will Be Blood, Inception, Avatar (I didn't want to like it but I caved and saw it and yep, loved it), Kill Bill, Vol. 1, ALL The Lord of the Rings movies, 300, Mulholland Drive, The Dark Knight, 28 Days Later, American Gangster, Brokeback Mountain, Milk, Pan's Labyrinth.... OK, I'm done for now! But I like me some movies!

Shows: I recently embraced my inner geek and have become hooked on series based on various superheroes and the like. Am I missing anything? Let's curl up on your sofa and you can catch me up.

Music: This one gives me hives just considering having to commit to a "list" of favorites--and I like every genre that exists, even if on a limited basis (country or rap/hip-hop). There is always something that I find merit in musically or stylistically. I am probably a frustrated musician/singer/performer that never dedicated the time to it so that makes me admire the passion and dedication of anyone who has done so. I just cannot tackle this without boring the hell out of you (if I haven't already). So I will only leave one word here that cannot be ignored--Beethoven. Without a doubt Beethoven is musically the greatest to have ever set a note to a staff.

Food: Another list that would be exhaustive. I am a foodie (do not hate on me for that word I used it 30 years ago before the fucking food network was around), I love to cook, I'm pretty damn good at it, and I have said that I want to have my own "food show"--or quit my job and buy a food truck to spend my days on the city streets sharing my food with anyone that wants to throw me a few bucks for my efforts. I make mean tamales--although a Mexican friend called them "gay" tamales: I once made them with goat cheese and roasted chicken! But I can make them as traditionally as your mamma.
The six things I could never do without
I hate this question, so I’m going to tell you what is on my nightstand. I know, I know. Saucy, right?

* a lamp that I never turn on because I prefer candlelight
* a bigass candle with a mild scent
* iPhone charging stand (seriously, for a full decade or three there was an alarm clock but I got rid of that and the fax machine)
* Plato's Phaedo ("if there is anything beautiful other than absolute beauty it is beautiful only insofar as it partakes of absolute beauty")
* my earphones (because I hate holding the phone when I'm talking while lying in bed--and not phone sex, ya perv, but um, okay, sure. I give good phone--I actually did it for a living back before the Internet was in use
* Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior (nice contrast to Plato, huh?)
* a couple of art books and "Architects on Architects"
* one of my Canon 35mm film cameras. I have a digital camera too but live for b&w film, fixed lens, and natural light!

If you want to know what’s in my nightstand, you’ll have to work really hard for that information. I know it's more than six but it's what's within reach and if I can't live without it then it needs to be close by if I'm close to death...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Well, more like wondering...wondering why guys half my age are quick to ask me to go fuck but guys my age won't go out with me because they are too busy trying to fuck the guys half my age that are trying to get me to fuck them? Hey, I'll own it. But it's getting old. Unless of course you have a good brain then I don't care how old you are... EEOC?

Oh, and world peace.
On a typical Friday night I am
...am trying to recover from the week (and sometimes preparing to work through the weekend as well). It may mean a drink or two with friends after work and then home to relax or just a drink or two by myself in a cool, dark corner watching people. I have begun to cook more regularly after a period of not making time to cook. If I have the time I don't mind just curling up in bed with a good movie, or on the computer geeking out, or with a book laying sweetly across my chest pretending that it is being read.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
that this is the stupidest OKC question? However, being in a somewhat compliant mood (oddly) I will tell you...but only in person. This will be shared with you but you will have to earn this information. It's good I promise.
You should message me if
....you managed to read this far then I would say it would be repayment for the time that you just invested (wasted). I can make it worth your while.
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