I'm not adventurous, spontaneous, down to earth, easy going, or laid back and I definitely won't go with the flow. I don't Skype, Tweet, Tumbl, Plurk, or Reddit. I'm not Pintrested in Instagrams, but I'm LinkedIn, and on occasion I Facebook. OMG, BTW, FWIW I don't LOL and I won't BRB.
Also, I hope to soon add more pictures than a few "me as best man in a wedding" and "here's what ridiculous bullshit I get away with wearing to work" such as my salmon, yellow, plaid, or red trousers. This perhaps won't raise any eyebrows unless you consider exactly what I do for work. Perhaps my next group of photos will feature something more fun, like me dressed up as a hamster while playing ping-pong against Batman. My normal attire is a good ol' fashioned t-shirt (likely featuring zombies, superheros, or a Big Lebowski reference) and jeans, possibly a hoodie or light jacket, weather permitting. Now that I think of it, maybe I'll dress as Batman - I have at least four different shirts featuring the iconic crest. Or The Joker - I just love that shade of purple.
I added more pictures.
None of them feature costumes or ping-pong.
I hereby consider myself summarized.
In mental health, I may be on the way to not making a hell of a lot of money, but I guarantee my stories will be better than anyone that thought being an accountant would be fun, and I've pretty well ensured that any Scientologists in the OKC community will summarily move on. After racking up student loans that rival the national debt, I'm looking forward to a long career of working with the disturbingly personality disordered, the acutely suicidal, and the floridly psychotic. Any these could refer to either colleagues or clients. I love this field.
Down the road I hope to get involved in public policy regarding mental health, substance abuse, and corrections.
-winning over those who once found me off-putting. It's difficult to convey that in a profile as I can't think of a way to offend people early and have them keep reading for the redemption later. We should probably meet once so I can be charming, again to be off-putting, and a third time for the payoff.
-remembering that obscure story you told once four years ago about your cousin and exactly why his Scottish accent was important to the situation in question, but I'll probably need to ask you your name a few times before I get it right.
Interpersonally - I was recently told by multiple people that I have been desensitized to the word "crisis" (and suicide, for that matter, but it comes up less. Both because of my work) and that it's interesting to hear me say it so often and without the same affective attachment usually associated with such a dire word.
Movies: The Big Lebowski, Casablanca, Snatch, Slapshot, Batman Begins and Dark Knight Rises, Shawshank Redemption, High Fidelity, zombie flicks, The Avengers, 12 Monkeys, UHF
TV: Californication, Breaking Bad, Dinosaurs, West Wing, Warner Bros. Cartoons including but not limited to Merry Melodies and Animaniacs, NHL Action, Battlestar Gallactica, Sherlock, Orphan Black, Orange is the New Black, In The Flesh. Does anybody out there remember MTV's Downtown or Clone High?
Music: I was raised on classic rock - The Who, Santana, Pink Floyd, and the like, but my latest in heavy rotation include Tom Petty, Celldweller, Arctic Monkeys, Lorde, and Muse. Usually I just wanna listen to something I can ignore. Like Glitch Mob.
Food: It was recently pointed out to me that I get way too excited about food. All of it. I have no intention to change. I tend to prefer "peasant" style food. Sandwiches, burritos, gyros - things originally meant to have all your protein, vitamins, minerals, and carbs in one package to be eaten on the go. I recently discovered the magic of Banh Mi. Hooked.
Video Games (they're important pieces of pop-culture. Don't judge me.): the Fallout, Bioshock, Mass Effect, Batman, and Assassin's Creed series.
2. Whisky. I have no less than three different bottles at a given time. Right now, Bushmills, Jameson, Angel's Envy, Glengoyne 17 for the special occasion, and Hirsch Small Batch Reserve. I was not terribly impressed by JW Blue, but then I'm the kind that would rather sit down to a well cooked and dressed hamburger than a steak.
3. NHL action. When Barry Melrose announced the lockout in 2004, I threw my lunch at the tv. When the most recent lockout was being mulled over, I put together a list of NHL sponsors to boycott - including Dunkin' Donuts, until it was over. I've called out of work to watch important games. I'm a huge Tampa Bay Lightning fan and recently adopted the Bruins as my second team. I grew up in a New York family, so this is a bigger deal than you'll probably give it credit for. I hate the fuckin' Penguins.
4. Hyperbole. Hyperbole always makes everything a at least a billion times funnier. Call this an extension of sarcasm if you like. I don't, but if you do then you're probably the dumbest person who could still manage to figure out how to access the internet and should burn in the blackest pits of fiery hell.
5. Fighting. I'm not a chest-beating, hardcore UFC fanatic and I'm definitely no gym-rat, but combat sports keeps me active after years of being the quintessential couch potato (I was roughly 330lbs at one point). I'll probably never compete, even at the amateur level, but I've got a few moves when it comes down to it. I think mostly, it appeals to the comic loving, nerd side of me - I wanna be a superhero.
6. Superheroes. I grew up addicted to X-Men comics, but recently have more appreciation for the more iconic characters of Spiderman and Batman. I have probably a dozen shirts (at least four Batman) and a dozen more pairs of socks that feature comicbook heroes. Also my two most recent pair of Converse All-Stars feature The Joker and Harley Quinn.
Here's a few things I can absolutely do without:
1. The sentiment/quote, "If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!" What's the threshold for that? If I have Cat In The Hat and Hungry Hungry Caterpillar I'm getting laid, but if I only have the latest issue of The Economist on display you're going home early? If that's the deciding factor for fucking then fuck you, stay home. I have a kindle app on my phone that gets a fair amount of attention and I visit my local library. Books get expensive and fuckin' heavy, so, no, I don't have a lot of books in my limited space and when I find that I do own more than one shelf's worth of books, I collect those that aren't particularly important to me and donate them to the library so others might enjoy them for free. Historically, I'm unlikely to re-read any book.
2. Any sense of superiority around not liking/watching sports. The human body does more than transport your head to the nearest bookstore. Professional sports are the pinnacle of what humans can do when the best of the athletic body and strategic mind are combined. Every football play is a chess match, not just apes crashing into each other. The best defensive baseball teams have precise coverage for every potential mistake a teammate might make. Fighters train themselves to keep their eyes open and wits about them even when punched in the face. If you don't enjoy it, fine, but a polite, "Enjoy, but it's just not for me," will suffice.
("He's probably just bitter and insecure because he hates reading and loves sports," you might think. You'd be wrong.)
3. Daniel Tosh.
Better systems for treatment and management of all levels of criminal/problematic behavior, mental illness, behavioral health, and addictions.
The sheer volume of people on OKC looking for their "partner in crime". It seems like the only reason the Greater Boston Area isn't on the brink of destruction is only because the latest wave of criminals weren't informed that lawlessness doesn't require a buddy system.
My various existential crises.
Bacon shell tacos, cheeseburgers where each bun is a bacon-grilled cheese sandwich, or perhaps Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos. Basically whenever the food world decides to divide by zero.
Feminism, Racism, Classism, and other systemic, subtle, underhanded oppression. I'm new to a lot of this, so go easy on me. Not that I used to be a racist or misogynist, but more actively considering the privileges I have due to nothing I actively did and how the gap can be bridged on individual and societal levels. "Privileges" like not being subjected to street harassment, told to smile, called a whore when I don't respond to messages, or being inundated with demands for sex. These are behaviors I'm proud to say I've never engaged in, but embarrassed to say I've only recently considered how damaging they are and started speaking out against them.
Here's some shit I like to do for fun
Run some laps around the pond or through the cemetary; go to the gym to beat on a heavybag, flip a tire, and swing a sledge hammer; Sit on my ass and watch movies, shows, or hockey; Chillax and joke with my homies; Pretend I can get away with using words like homies, trousers, and poppycock and be taken seriously. Whatever I'm doing, I'm probably happier doing it with a beer or glass of whisk(e)y nearby and easily transportable to my face or in my near future.
I saw and met Nickelback before they were getting excessive radio play on Top 40 stations; when they were playing small clubs. Before it was embarrassing to admit that I saw and met Nickelback.
I'm not nearly as surly as this profile reads. In fact, sometimes I'm downright engaging.
You can accept "Because it's The Cup!" as justification for phenomenally ridiculous behavior around May-June.
You wanna discuss who would win in a fight between various superheroes.
You wanna help me provide hilarious commentary over a Netflix movie, MST3K/Rifftrax style. Or just watch a movie and/or Rifftrax with company.
Also, thanks to my work, strange stories FO' DAYZ! (That's what the kids say when then want to convey that there's a lot of something. They add "Fo' dayz" to the end of the line.) and you wanna hear some.