31Ottawa, Canada
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Let's start with the good stuff first:

I'm smart. I'm funny. I'm sarcastic and I love to snark. I'm articulate, well-read, and always interested in learning new things. I go through books like some people go through food. I've had some of my short stories published. (This is significantly less impressive than it sounds.) One of the things that attracts me to people, both romantically and platonically, is how well they use language, and whether they can make me laugh. I'm silly, geeky, computer-savvy, game-friendly, and open to a great many more nerd-shaped things. Despite my health stuff, I have a good life with good people in it -- I keep busier than you'd think.

I'm sexually experienced and adventurous; I help run sex education forums/communities/workshops and helping people in that department is very important to me. I'm into cis women, cis men, transwomen, transmen, and whatever else people want to throw at me outside of the gender binary. I am not possessive and do not have jealousy issues. I'm primarily a monogamous person, but I have had good experiences with non-hierarchical poly relationship structures. You can be a monogamous person, or not. Come as you are.

I'm open and really honest; I'm even learning how to temper the less happy end of that with a little grace. I'm deeply protective of the people I care about. I'm fond of kids and animals, and am good with both. I think critically about the world around me. I don't believe in pity-party one-upmanship, and I always take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I take criticism well. I'm politically-conscious and left-wing. I'm a feminist, which is not a synonym for "misandrist". I'm organized, responsible, and respond well in a crisis. I get annoyed as often as anyone else, but I'm hard to really offend and even harder to shock.

Aaaaand now the bad:

I'm disabled. I have health problems. They limit my ability to go out and do things as much as I'd like to, have made me a little overweight, and generally make life frustrating sometimes. I am not disabled in the sense that I'm blind with a cane or have a wheelchair. For the most part my disabilities are "invisible disabilities" -- if you saw me walking around on a good day, you would have no idea I was ill. This is both a blessing and a curse. I promise I will never make my health problems your problem -- they're not a crutch or an excuse and, after twelve years of living on my own, I'm quite good at taking care of myself -- but there will be times where I have to cancel plans at the last minute because I'm having a flare-up (sometimes I have very little warning) or because I just don't have the energy. I try to do my best but it's the reality of my situation, so I try not to guilt trip myself about it too hard. (That way lies madness.)

I'm low-income. I take classes when I can and I work part-time as a teacher during the school year, but I'm still on disability and that's what pays my rent. I'm not as poor as I used to be, but both me and my wallet would prefer it if most of the time we hung out in ways that don't cost much money.

I think that's about as thorough as I can be. If you read through the whole thing, you deserve a cookie. (Did I mention that I bake?) I know it's more common for people to talk about the specifics of what THINGS they like -- shows, books, music, etc -- but that doesn't really tell you if you get along with somebody past the small talk level, so I thought I'd go for what makes me who I am instead. I hope it finds the right people.

Thanks for taking the time.
What I’m doing with my life
During the school year, I teach at a local elementary school, running an OCDSB-mandated tutoring program for at-risk kids. Before that, I did graphics for the blind at a transcription company. And before that, I was a librarian. In my spare time, I'm an internet radio DJ and am learning American Sign Language. I may even get serious about learning how to play guitar again.

In the meantime, I am always, always, always trying to improve myself and my life. Learning is awesome and life is awesome. I wish I had the time and the ability to learn everything there is to know, see everything there is to see, and do everything there is to do.
I’m really good at
Cooking, baking, knitting, taking direction, thinking in practical terms, solving problems, being a shoulder to lean on, measuring by eye, graphic design and photomanipulations, falling on my ass, stubbing my toes, swearing creatively, and mothering my friends. I'm not very outdoors-y these days, but I still build canoes, tents, gear packs, sleds, and parkas from scratch with my dad. I've got a great aesthetic sense. I'm also good at training dogs, which has recently been put to the test!
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm really, really busty. I'm fat and okay with that. I rocked a super fun pink buzzcut for a year; it's growing out again but the silly colours are common, especially since it makes my students happy. Personality-wise, I talk like I know what I'm about.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BOOKS: This is an unfair question, and I don't really believe in favourites to begin with. I've got my mini-library behind me, so let's take a look and list some authors. We've got... Guy Gavriel Kay, Terry Pratchett, William Gibson, Neal Stephenson, Neil Gaiman, Emma Bull, Steven Brust, some Marvel TPBs, Warren Ellis' "Freakangels", some Runaways TPBs, Susan Cooper, Jane Austen, T. A. Pratt, and Jasper Fforde.

MUSIC: I'll listen to just about anything. No, really. I'm pretty easygoing about music; the only types that really put me off are the extreme ends of rap, country, and metal.

FOOD: I love food! I have a bunch of dietary restrictions, but I'm all about simple pleasures. I mostly prefer food that isn't Americana, like Indian, Greek, dim sum, sushi, Ethiopian, Thai, etc. I'm less fond of French and Italian because of the amount of dairy involved. (I'm lactose intolerant.) I love trying new and interesting foods, and I have an Eat One of Everything policy, minus the stuff that would do serious damage to me because of allergic reactions. But frankly, I'll probably even try a few of those. At the same time, if my partner is happy to go bbq me a nice medium-rare steak, he or she is probably going to get laid.

GAMES: Metroid, Final Fantasy (the whole run, but I liked 7 the least and 10 the best), Portal, the Zelda games, the Resident Evil games, the Dead or Alive games, the star Wars games, Lifeline, the Mario games, Smash Brothers, Soul Calibur, Myst, Spore, The Sims, Timelapse, the old Commander Keen games, Goldeneye, Grand Theft Auto, Kingdom Hearts, City of Heroes...

RPGS: Oh god. I've been playing tabletop since I was 12, and with the same group of friends, even. We've played everything under the sun -- D&D (various editions and settings), GURPS, Shadowrun, Big Eyes Small Mouth, Teenagers From Outer Space, Deadlands, Star Wars, most of the World of Darkness games, and one New Year's Eve we sat around playing Munchkin as a drinking game. (Munchkin's great fun. If you can't make fun of yourself, what's the hell's the point?)

TV: House, Babylon 5, True Blood, Canivale, Friday Night Lights, Sherlock, Scandal, Orange is the New Black, How to Get Away with Murder, Agents of SHIELD, Deadwood, The 100, Elementary, Chicago PD, Battlestar Galactica (the remake), Supernatural (which was really terrible for a few seasons there but got fun again), The Good Wife, The United States of Tara, Weeds, Suits, Justified, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, Hannibal, House of Cards (UK and US)... I go back and forth between tones and genres a lot.

PETS: I grew up with horses, dogs, cats, fish, hamsters, guinea pigs, and rabbits. I love pets. Back when one of my now-exes and I were still living together, we owned cats, but I could barely make ends meet financially after we broke up, so had to let him keep them. (The cats are happy and well-loved. No worries on that front.) And my most recent ex-boyfriend had a dog that I'm pretty sure I loved more than he did; I still miss her. I've always been happy when my roommates have pets, because then I get to interact with them too, but these days the only pet here with me is my corn snake, Eve. CORRECTION: I adopted an abused Chiweenie in June and we have been working hard together to get her back on track for health and happiness. It's pretty fucking great.
Six things I could never do without
Serious answer? I "did without" a lot at one point in my life, so my standards are weird. Casual answer? My smartphone, a cup of tea, and a good book of whatever variety you've got handy will do me just fine.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
People. Their experiences, the way they interact, where they're coming from, and how to work with it.
On a typical Friday night I am
At my best friends', making her strawberry cream-cheese swirl chocolate-fudge brownies while she picks what series of terrible movies we'll watch, heckle, and throw popcorn at. Sometimes we go out for sushi or Thai, and other weekends I'm at my regular tabletop D&D group (we've been running for a decade and a half!). Alternately, I'm hanging out at my sister's place, spending time with my nieces and nephew, with whom I am really close. I love those kids fiercely.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Good luck finding a question I won't answer. If you can manage it in a socially-savvy and charming way, you get extra points.

(I recognize that this will probably also get me targeted by a bunch of creepers who'll take it as a challenge, but that's okay. I have a delete message button!)
You should message me if
Will you make me laugh? Can you be an arm for me to hang on to on my bad balance days without being weird or an ass about it? Can you talk about a lot of different topics? Can you accept constructive criticism, especially about communication? Can you have fights without yelling, lashing out, or being passive-aggressive? Are you able to laugh during sex when something ridiculous inevitably happens? Will you respect my capacity with power tools, my feminist perspectives, and my zero-tolerance policy for food guilt or words like "retard"? Can you appreciate tomboy women who are more comfortable in motorcycle boots than heels, and who'll probably mix unshaved 'pits with really cute underwear? If so, I would like to hear from you.

Just so it's clear, I'm really not looking for casual sex right now. I genuinely wish you the best of luck if that's what you're looking for -- high five! -- but I'm not it. And frankly, if your first line is to ask me for photos of my tits, I'm going to have a good laugh and then delete the message without replying. ;)

If you sent me a message and never got a reply, I am really, really sorry about that. It's usually not because I disliked you; it's more likely because I was busy or had a bad health streak. There are also periods where I get burnt out on the number of asshats endemic to online dating sites. So if you've sent me a message and haven't gotten a reply, please try again. Be nice about the fact that I never got back to you. Say something more about yourself. Talk to me. I'm sorry you're having to do the legwork twice, but trust me when I say that how you handle it will probably tell me more about you than your profile could. :)
The two of us