chicagoredone
54 Chicago, United States
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chicagoredone
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My self-summary
Hi Y'all: I'm a mostly retired, pretty laid back vintage dealer ~ wardrobe stylist ~ personal shopper.
Being a 420 connoisseur ensures that I don't get too ambitious and start working real hard, and not drinking alcohol makes it so I never, ever have a hangover the next day!

Check out my profile and some of the 3000 or so questions I answered before you send me a message--if you ask me to tell you about myself, I will likely tell you that I already did. I appreciate that you like my pictures, but they don't tell you enough to know if we're compatible.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR HERE ON OKC?
Thanks for asking.

Overall, I'm seeking genuine, smart, straightforward, kind and generous folks for companionship, conversation and carousing that begins with a friendly connection. Liking each other's company is very important to me. We don't have to dig all the same things, or be interested in the same subjects, or listen to the same music...I especially appreciate the magic of the interwebs for making it possible to connect with people I never would have thought of as a match and to learn about worlds I know little to nothing about.

HEY, BUT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND? A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP?

Yes--but not only that--and not some White Knight/White Horse scenario.

I'm looking for a deeper initial connection, a genuine liking of each other's company, a matching of wits and a major lusting of each others bodies. Having discovered that strong beginning connection, I'm seeking ongoing companionship with an open-minded, sensual, affectionate, generous, curious, interested sapiosexual man who is looking for a girlfriend and partner in an open/polyamorous relationship of our invention. That's a lotta words to say "good lovin".

(Some of your profiles are so appealing--and our match percentages are quite high at 95% or more--I find myself wishing that you might want to really connect with me. When many of you contact me, much of it is on a level I could call 'let's smoke and fuck'. Nothing wrong with that at times, on its own or as the beginning of an on-going pairing between us, but it's really lacking in the connection I love. )

**********{{{Read This PLEASE AND THANK YOU}}}**********

You SHOULD NOT message me if all you want is to talk dirty to me. BORING.
I am a sexual PERSON, not a sexual THING.
If I haven't met you and I don't know anything about you then I probably don't want to talk about having sex with you. Once I do WANT to, I'm real good at it.

HEY! MORE ABOUT MEEEEEEEE
...love to drive fast and sing along to The Lonely Island. (I would have recorded Natalie's Rap as my own, but the motherfuckers didn't ask.)
...love deep conversations with smart people who can THINK and think for themselves. This is one of the things I LIVE FOR. The best days are ones where i hear someone say: Wow, I've never thought that before.
...love fashion and jewelry, vintage and modern, from haute couture to busted Levi's with the perfect patina
...was born to listen to hip-hop and rap music (Skompton 4EVER)
...am grateful for my 20+ years of coursework and training with Landmark Education and the extraordinary people I met along the way
What I’m doing with my life
•Taking too many photos of the sunrise
•Accosting the resident and visiting chihuahua(s) with the question: "Now what are you eating?"
•Staying up late trolling profiles and chatting on OKCupid. You people are endlessly fascinating to me.
•Keeping my immune system healthy by kissing dogs I just met, eating the food that fell on the floor or has a past-due expires-by date, touching doorknobs, railings, handles...
•Ensuring quality standards on Aldi's private label chocolate bars (best chocolate around--imported from Germany--budget friendly and better than most other chocolate I've tried)
I’m really good at
****** procrastination******
• making my friends nearly shoot their drinks out their noses
• deciphering rap lyrics
• finding clothes for people that fit perfectly
• driving
•parallel parking (I only need about six inches)
• treasure finding
•rolling into a town and finding the Salvation Army or Goodwill Store without using any kind of map (not done much since the Googles make it so easy but I do have this pioneer skill)
The first things people usually notice about me
these are my guesses and the results of a small, unreliable, biased survey:
•my bright red hair
•my curves
•my sarcastic wit
•my boots or crazy pants
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Incomplete lists, all.

Books: Conversations With God, Presumed Innocent, This Perfect Day, Still Life With Woodpecker, Jitterbug Perfume, The Stand, The Poisonwood Bible, The Ethical Slut, Sex at Dawn

Movies: Boogie Nights, The Right Stuff, The In-Laws, Iron Man, You Can't Take It With You, Tropic Thunder, Caddyshack, The Princess Bride

30 Rock, BBC Top Gear (American Top Gear can suck it), The Office--either version, American Pickers, anything with Gypsies in the title, Antiques Roadshow, Boondocks, Weeds, Modern Family, Community, Parks and Recreation, Mad Men, Mecum Auctions for background noise and some sweet rides, Planet Earth documentaries, An Idiot Abroad--anything Gervais touches.

Music: I often listen to the same mix of nasty hip-hop that I have had on my phone forever adding a song here or there...
Lately BEYONCÉ BEYONCÉ BEYONCÉ ALL THE TIME.
Also, Childish Gambino...'Sweatpants' and 'Sunrise'=my favorites. Kendrick Lamar kills. Plus, Migos!

Food: the most important thing to know is NO CILANTRO. EVER. No hot peppers unless you want to see me cry.
The six things I could never do without
That whole never-do-without concept is kind of dramatic but here's a list of some stuff and things I like or need way more than other things and stuff that I like or need:

*Human touch
• Books
* Dogs
• my iDevices
• Eyeglasses (trifocals, yo)
• Sunshine
* Weed
• Dogs
• The Miracle of Modern Medicine (my brain chemicals on their own, they no worka-so-good)
• Weed
• People who make me laugh
*Dogs
*Ben & Jerry
*Music with poetry and beats (see Kendrick, Kanye, Gambino, etc)
*Weed
*Dogs
I spend a lot of time thinking about
...what I should be doing instead of staring at this glorious lake in front of me. Then I remember that THIS IS IT-- there's nowhere to get to--and I go back to staring at the lake.

...how to say what it is I am looking for here on OKC, without resorting to the dreaded 'You Should Not Message Me Fucking Ever If You _______' list.

...how I can get everyone to read Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships (Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha) It is the most revolutionary, clear and forward-thinking book I have ever read about humans and (our warped ideas about) sexuality. Read it NOW.

Article on Open Relationships with some good thinkin':
http://www.nightcharm.com/2014/08/13/open-relationships-are-not-about-sex/#.U_OZk4iq8ek.facebook

Monogamish Moments in History: Amelia Earhart's letter to the man who would become her husband http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/12/11/i-shall-not-hold-you-to-any-medieval-code-of-faithfulness-to-me-nor-shall-i-consider-myself-bound-to-you-similarly
On a typical Friday night I am
Boring.
...reading, hanging with Maryjane and my homies at home, playing with junk jewelry or playing Words With Friendszzzzzzzzzzzz, catching up on Breaking Bad, Californication, Shameless or something funny
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Rub my head or brush my hair and I'll follow you anywhere.
You should message me if
***(i'm putting stars next to this one it must be important)

***IF...you're interested in making a genuine connection, whether we chat or meet, no matter the nature or length of the time we spend together.
In the past, I've had many conversations with fakes and flakes--I prefer real people being real in their real lives. I'm begging you, don't waste my time and wreck my trust in humans no mo!

IF...you want to discuss any of my favorite books mentioned above--if I listed it, it made some sort of profound impression on me and I'd love to hear what you thought. Suggested reading also welcome.

IF...you want to watch the sunrise over the lake on a near deserted beach. Majestic and humbling.

And I really don't care if yer rich, but IF you are and you're afraid that American Express will put a limit on your Black Card if you don't go on an immediate around-the-world shopping spree, fuel up the jet--I can help.
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