34Dublin, United States
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My self-summary
If you don't have a sense of humor and/or are easily offended, you should probably leave now. Lighten up, people!

I suppose it's best to start with a few facts about me, so here goes...

Things I appreciate:
-Witty banter
-Tattoos (the more, the better)
-Politically incorrect humor
-Swearing proficiently
-Grammar (yes, this includes spelling)
-Happy hour
-Sleeping in (I'm starting the #allsleepmatters movement)
-Warm weather

Things I do not appreciate:
-Recreational drug users
-Organic/natural pandemonium (just because it comes out of a box, doesn't mean it will kill you)
-Fake laughing
-Cold weather
-Dance clubs
-Telling me about an episode of a show that I just told you I don't watch

I don't have any kids. I'm a fan of spontaneously doing something or going out if I feel like it. Having said that, I am by no means a party animal, and I know how to handle my booze. You should, too.

Not into games, flings, or anything else like that. I don't mind if you're divorced, but separated is still married as far as I'm concerned.
What I’m doing with my life
I do absence management for a major technology company. I own a condo, have no roommates (which would just be weird at 34), drive a bad ass truck, and would love to live in a place with a better year-round climate someday. I'm perfectly ok with spending Christmas on my patio with a beer and stringing lights on a cactus....or palm tree.
I’m really good at
-Jumping to conclusions
-Locating the snooze button on my phone with perfect accuracy
-Grocery store agility
-Showing up to work just in time to not be late
-Spacing out
-Swearing like a sailor
-Texting while driving (Bite me, AT&T. I'll determine whether or not it can wait).
The first things people usually notice about me that I'm not wearing any pants. Turns out that's frowned upon in most public venues. Thanks a lot, society.

I actually get the Daughtry thing quite often.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Book: Ted, White, and Blue
Actually, any social commentary will probably suffice.

Movies: Suspense, horror, and comedy

Shows: The Blacklist, Scorpion, American Horror Story, Madam Secretary, The Last Ship, Family Guy, and random stuff on Discovery or History.
No, I'm not on the "I don't have cable" bandwagon. I like my shows.

Music: If it's on WNCI, I probably don't like it. Megan Trainor may be all about that bass, but I am not. Bruno Mars is no SRV. If you don't know who SRV is, we may have a problem. Some bands I enjoy include Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top, Bob Seger, Halestorm, The Pretty Reckless, Disturbed, Black Stone Cherry, SRV, Brantley Gilbert, Hank Jr., and Montgomery Gentry to name just a few.

Food: I prefer that which had 4 legs and used to be alive. Chicken and fish are good, too.
Six things I could never do without
Evidently, no one found the humor in my last list. Sad state of affairs. Here's a new one:

1. Walmart - if I need burgers, a shirt, Clorox, a beard trimmer, beer, or tires, Walmart's got me covered. At 03:00.
2. Muro 128 - Google "recurrent corneal erosion" and you'll know why
3. Good bourbon
4. Vegas
5. Warm weather
6. My phone - I really hate myself for admitting it, but it's true
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why I still live in a cold weather state. This generally happens from around Halloween until about Easter.
On a typical Friday night I am
Likely at happy hour, karaoke, or at home doing absolutely nothing. I'm ok with any of those.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You should message me if
You're in it for the long haul.
The two of us