cjkrythos
33Akron, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
cjkrythos
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Warning: this is a big profile. If you don't like reading big profiles, either skim the first two sentences of every paragraph here and move on, or just back out and run screaming into the darkness. I try to make this profile as descriptive about me, my tastes, and my views as possible, rather than the popular method of being as vague as possible.
***** you have been warned*****

I'm a dorky and politically confusing individual that drives truck, listens to techno/industrial, enjoys the outdoors(namely camping and possibly biking and kayaking), plays random PC video games(steam FTW), and loves all that is goodwill(yes, I mean the store). I have a strange pension for brutal, unrelenting honesty(that is to say, that if you ask a question, no matter how personal, ill answer it completely and totally truthfully). Oh, and I'm also one of those rare and elusive men that believes in chivalry, though a more modern version. Don't expect me to toss my coat in a puddle so you can walk over it, I will likely give you a very funny look.

I'm also a very career oriented individual. I grew up believing in hard work, I didn't enjoy the parties that others got to go to, I instead spent my nights working dead end jobs. Its taken time, but it paid off well enough. I want more than anything to find a woman who is equally career oriented. Someone who put getting a job ahead of the parties, someone who wants a better life, a house, the picket fence, some kids(likely playing lawn darts), all that bullshit. Its corny, but I believe in it. I want someone who can work hard, and at the end of the week, put aside some time to go out and do something, OR stay in and kill zombies playing Left 4 Dead with me.

However, I'm not the obsessive videogamer most people expect. I can spend a few hours in a day playing on and off, but, after that period of time, I absolutely HAVE to do something productive, Its a balancing act for me. the video games are my outlet from a life of seriousness. I currently work 10-14 hours a day, so at the end of the week, I have to balance all that out with a few hours of me time and then I do my cleaning and bills and such. Its why I want someone who I can share all this with, even if you prefer doing something other than playing video games. Personally Id much rather be camping, but setting up a campground is time consuming and its one of those things best done only once in a while rather than every weekend. Alternately there's Kayaking, but Id prefer to do that with a partner in case I have a problem on the lake. I also bicycle if the weather permits.

I'm a fairly cautious person by nature.

I am geeky, silly, and open-minded (and my demon name is "Destroyer of minds, wielder of puns" or at least that's what a friend tells me..... I wasn't aware I had one....)

Surgeon General's Warning: this profile may give you facepalms, groans, heartburn, and possible death by excessive laughter. You have been warned..... again.

TAGS: geek, books, sci-fi, science fiction, video games, zombies, camping, bicycling, truck driving, werewolves, dating, fantasy, dork, puns, steam, PC games
What I’m doing with my life
Right now I'm actually a truck driver. My job is semi-local, meaning I stick mostly to Ohio and surrounding area. I'm home daily for the most part, though my nights consist mostly of my getting off work, going home, taking a shower, and collapsing after watching some Netflix. I may or may not have enough time to pack a lunch for the next day and do some laundry, so on most days, it's a pretty busy living. Make good fundage with this though.

I hope to quit driving truck one day. It's a fantastic job and I'm proud to be doing it, but in all honesty, it ain't much fun being a truck driver when it comes to attempting to have a social life. Also, I dislike being compared to the vast majority of the drivers out here, some of them make the Unibomber look positively normal.

I'm currently working a lot on my own place. I bought, rather than rented, and while it turned out to be a bit more of a handful than I expected, it's getting better.

FYI, my truck driving does not mean I'm the type that doesn't bathe, listens to country, bitches about Obama or is excessively overweight. Truck drivers are like Starburst, we're all a bit chewy though some of us taste better than others. I'd hope I'm more of a lemon flavor as I can be sour sometimes, but usually I'm fruity, yet sweet. Yes, this means I do get stuck in your teeth, so be prepared for cavities.
I’m really good at
Finding deals.... yeah, it's sad, but we all have to have hobbies. it's this or Masturbation..... oh wait, I do that too *le-gasp* >.<

I'm also good at cleaning up and looking nice for dates and special occasions. No really, I can be a slob sometimes(what guys aren't?) but I know how to clean up and I do like dressing up nice. To give you perspective, I've been able to hit on lesbians in a gay bar and not get laughed at..... Actually got one to dance with me. :P ....Though she might have been drunk..... or high.

Im also good at looking younger than I actually am.... I have a freind that is 5 years younger than me and if you didn't know our ages, you'd still guess I was the younger one just looking at the two of us.

apparently making people think I'm insane(as per a profile response I just had where someone blocked me because I'm "The weirdest person they ever met on here") <~ This Amuses me.... greatly. I act immature at some points, and mature at others, Socially, I'm very immature, but when it comes to my professional life, I take it deadly serious. I don't do Twitter, Facebook, or other "social" media because it's crap. I do Pinterest, only because there are good jokes on there, recipes, useful tips, and other things I can use in my daily life.

Cooking. I cook for my grandfather and he likes my cooking. I usually enjoy things with cheese and BBQ sauce on them the most, but I'm also known for involving broccoli in the mix. Making awesome brownies lately. BTW, I'm terrible at cooking vegan, so It's probably not a good idea to ask. Not to say that I won't give it a try, and I don't mind dating vegans, but I'm happy with my meaty things. I tend to cook in that direction most of the time but I've been picking up tips to cook a little healthier while not abandoning meat entirely. Mostly just cutting out preservatives, insecticides, GMOs and such. I'm not at the crazy health nut point yet, but I'm hoping to establish a happy medium.
The first things people usually notice about me
My appearance makes me look a lot younger than I am, so sometimes I wear a beard for kicks just so people wont treat me like I'm 12(no seriously, I have pictures of me at 19 and OKcupid wouldnt let me post them because they thought it was a 12 year old kid). I seriously look A LOT younger than I am. On that note, if you look older than you actually are, and if we went out, I look forward to convincing everyone that we are mother and son, and then promptly making out on a park bench for laughs. You know you want to snap pictures of horrified looks....

My sarcasm, my sense of humor, and the puns.... OH THE PUNS.... they do not stop!!!

My sweet tooth, which usually leads to a lot of ice cream, usually cookie dough or fudge brownie. Ive found a way to mix the finest combination ever devised.... fudge brownie ice cream with booze, and no, it doesnt curdle the milk. :3 Its like drinking alcoholic caramel fudge brownies in liquid awesome.

Oh, and I'm short, so no references to lucky charms, I might be a Leprechaun, but I dont have any gold worth stealing...... not yet anyways, I do have a rich uncle.... (update: hes poor, so no lucky charms for you)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books:
A Whisper of Wings by Paul Kidd and Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Absolutely my favorite 2 books ever. I prefer sci fi and fantasy novels, but Ive also a smaller interest in mystery and Paranormal Suspense(as well as the occasional romance), so I have a wide variety of tastes with books. I also enjoyed the Xanth series, Jane Lindskold's wolf series, Brian Jacques' "Castaways of the Flying Dutchman"(magnificent book), The Spellsinger series by Alan Dean Foster, Charles De Lint's "wolf Moon", CJ Cherryh's Chanur saga, Andrew Swann's Moreau series, KD Wentworth, and Lisanne Norman's Sholan Alliance series. Been reading a lot of Heinlein and Christopher Moore. If you know anything about these books, you will notice a trend. Oh, and Dresden Files is awesome.

Games:
Most(if not all) starship flight combat games(IE Wing Commander, Galaxy on Fire 2, DarkStar One, Etc...) Many various RPGs(FF series, Legend of Legaia, Vindictus, etc...), and some RTS and FPS series if the game story is good enough. MacGuffin's Curse and a handful of other puzzle games. I'm not big on MMOs because they all tend to be about mindless grinding or farming of stuff, and then your life goes to s#%t because you never leave your computer. I finally saw the trend when I noticed I had a friend that would rather play WoW than get romantic with his girlfriend. Naturally I canceled my subscription a week later.

TV shows:
Fringe, Supernatural, Stargate, Sanctuary, The walking Dead, Lie to me, Misfits(Hulu Exclusive show), Eureka, Warehouse 13, Better off Ted, Agents of Shield, Almost Human, Arrow, Pretender(an older show), Dexter, Breaking Bad, Various Star Trek tv shows, and Chuck.

Movies:
"second hand Lions", "Limitless", "John Carter", "Never Cry Wolf", "The Abyss extended edition", "Green Street Hooligans", "fight club", "lucky number slevin", "Fifth Element", "Scary movie 1" and "2", "Shawshank Redemption", "American Beauty", Johnny Depp movies, Adam Sandler movies. I love pretty much all varieties of movies except for horror movies. Modern horror movies just generally fail to scare me. I grew up watching the Hellraiser movies, the Alien Trilogy, and anything else gory and scary that no child should ever grow up watching. :P Ive only seen a few that succeeded in bringing even the mildest of startled surprises out of me. Not to say that they cant scare me, just that they haven't. I'm game if you want to challenge me though.

Anime:
Bleach, One Piece, Bagi monster of mighty nature, Fairy Tail, and the ORIGINAL Dragonball(before the constipated battle noises of Z), Hayao Miyazaki films, Mamoru Hosada films(director of Summer Wars and Wolf Children), and a few others that catch my fancy. I like anime with more of a story and less of a bunch of overly muscular teenagers grunting in constipation. Oh, and Naruto sucks(yes, I said it, what you gonna do about it?) I know it isn't Japanese anime, but the original Avatar series was and still is, one of the best animated series out there.

Food: Most anything meaty and home cooked. I will however try just about any food once. I love Indian food. I also love Ice cream and milkshakes the way Bill Clinton loves interns. Yep, fresh, creamy, and under the table. With or without nuts XP Though I dont know if its a bad sign that I prefer chocolate.... Ok, Ill stop XD

Music: I listen to Trance, Goa, psytrance, industrial, some metal bands, certain classic rock, and some 80s pop groups. Included are bands like: NIN, Green day, Lonely Island, VNV Nation, Crystal Method, Delerium, Marilyn Manson, Orgy, Garbage, Hybrid, Blackmill, Eiffel 65, Placebo, Fatboy Slim, Perfect Circle, Puscifer, Synthetic Dream Foundation, Mushroomhead, and Prodigy. I will also admit to enjoying classic Micheal Jackson(before he turned into Skeletor) "YOU IS ALL IGNANT!!!" FYI, if my music tastes are not your thing, I can be just fine finding ones that we can share. I do like a lot of 80s and other classic rock, if only to recognize the classics. And our music tastes obviously dont have to be identical, though Country and rap are among two genres that I find it pretty difficult to relate to or develop any interest in.
Six things I could never do without
In no particular order:
Geeky stuff. childhood Cartoons, PC Video games, etc...

broccoli...... WHAT!?!?!?! hey, its good when its cooked right!!! Plus it makes me poop, and as we all know, everyone poops.

Juice or iced tea. I love green iced tea, cranberry grape juice and Ruby Red Grapefruit. I drink all Juice like some people drink soda or coffee. Also, I drink a lot of fluids because I have to, so expect me to go through jugs of random drinks, especially the above mentioned ones.

Books, reading, audio books, etc..... I tend to go through youth series like Percy Jackson and other series of myth/legend origin(especially werewolves) and through all manner of other scifi and fantasy series, though I found I could NOT do GoT, so dont ask. Too darned depressing.

The Internet, after-all, where else would I get my source of free porn? I use it to keep up with friends, and to watch stuff on Hulu/netflix.

A vehicle. Transportation is one of those things a lot of people take for granted, and I try to take care of mine.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I think about life. What I'm gonna do with it. What I want to do with a house once I have one. Sometimes this leads to browsing real estate websites for ideas.

I also ponder fantasy and sci-fi related stuff like zombies, werewolves, and how lame sci-fi original movies are. (OMG SHARKTOPUS!!!)

Finally I sit around and wonder both how Match.com could think that taking so many of the better features of this site out would have been a good idea.... AND how hypocrites can exist, by rules of math, shouldnt they cease to exist?(combining positive with negative equals zero)

Oh, and how does one have "casual sex" I mean if sex were so casual, does that mean I can wear nothing for "casual friday" And is there casual dress for casual sex? do I just need slacks, maybe a sweater..... or a sweater vest..... because thats the kinkiest thing ever..... Im hoping you are all having dirty thoughts of Mr Rogers now..... yes, you can sock me in the arm if we go on a date.
On a typical Friday night I am
playing on the internet..... WHAT!?!?!? there are so many things to do online, I'm essentially guaranteed to never get bored. I can check my stocks and then play a few games with my joystick...... FLIGHT SIMULATORS you warped child you. Weekday nights I tend to get home, try to get in some relaxation time after a long day(I work about 9am-11pm on average, sometimes a little later). Saturdays are the days you can expect to see me out and about, maybe sundays too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'd totally become a werewolf if(and ONLY IF) I could control it. I figure it would be awesome. Dig up the flower beds in the mean lady's yard, chase cars, crap in someone's prized vegetable garden, invite muggers to try to mug you..... I figure it would be pretty entertaining. Sure, forcefully transforming would be a bitch, but if you could control the wolf side, I'm sure you could have lots of fun with it. Besides, whats more cuddly than a wolf? You know you'd want to rub my tummy or play fetch!!!! Come ON! Just picture walking me to the dog park.....
FYI, with my purchase of a house, on the above note, you may want to keep an eye on Akron area news..... you never know when that headline may appear XP
You should message me if
...if you like geeky people. I happen to rate a 6 or 7 on the geekometer. yes, that is a scientific number. Tesla's geekometer has never proven to be false.(hey, he invented damn near everything else.... why not a geekometer) Also, being somewhere in the middle, I'm the perfect balance of normal and total dork. Best of both worlds if you will.

...If you have a car and a job to support making trips to fun places. I especially like women who are self-sufficient. No really, I cannot stress this one enough. Self-sufficient is a necessity

...If you are tired of dating deadbeat guys with no job, no car, and no prospects.

...If you have an attitude. I prefer smart-asses to the meek ones out there. I have that kind of sense of humor.

...If you PC game and want someone to game with, even if it's only online.

...If you like werewolves, zombies, and related discussions or movies.

...If you just want to chat. I got skype, aim, yahoo, and unlimited talk and text on my cell. I prefer chatting over the phone tho because I can put on my headset and talk for about an hour or so while driving, keeps me from getting bored while driving. Being bored equals bad because I tend to fidget or get sleepy, so you are doing a community service by calling me while I'm driving, as ridiculous as that sounds.

...If you read my profile and DIDN'T take me completely seriously, laughed, and thought my sense of humor might be worth having around. After all, I'm limited edition, and I do not come on compact disc.

...Or if you are a complete dork, look good in a bathing suit, and want to go to the Bahamas for a week, no seriously, I won a trip and I want someone with a nice butt to take.... Not true anymore, I went, it was a blast, but I'd be happy to go again for kicks..... and to see you in a bathing suit..... :3

_______________________________________________
In case some of you haven't gathered, I am a smartass and I try to enjoy life for what it is, an adventure. But with all things in life, there are always going to be some things I can't live with. The following are reasons you shouldn't message me unless you plan to only want to be friends. I feel the need to warn you because I'm on here to find friends AND a partner. If you only want a partner and something below fits you to the T, understand that these are all issues I've had in previous relationships. I don't want to waste your time and I'm one of those guys that feel the need to communicate things up front.

If you cannot take yourself seriously, and/or are not looking to date me, don't bother reading below. This is mostly for people who I'd like to go out with, but I'm trying to save myself the trouble of dating people who cannot take themselves seriously long enough to tackle a stance on the important aspects of life. (job, car, religion, etc...)

If something in the following fits you fully, I can promise you it won't go beyond a few dates or basic friendship. Before you read this, know that I'm going to stop the jokes long enough to get serious. If you can't be serious with yourself and know that I'm not making fun of you, I'm being critical, because I've judged myself by these same standards, so if you can't do the same, I really don't know what to tell you.

...If you are one of those die-hard Republican, Fox News is great, Glenn Beck is your idol, gays should not marry, foaming at the mouth Right wing extremists. Get Lost and pls forget my profile exists. I lived with a few of these for a while, it sucked, never again.

...If you don't have a job or a career and aren't really interested in ever getting either of the two. I'm at the stage in my life where I want a responsible partner. If you're in college, that's awesome, but I want someone with the drive to succeed, so don't bother if you lack that drive. I know a lot of women out there that want only the whole "motherhood" thing. I wouldn't mind being a dad, but I don't believe in the "breadwinner" concept. I don't want to spend 30 years of my life paying for family members I never get to spend time with. It's an outdated concept and seems to be the top reason I've seen relationships AND marriages fail.

...If you are over the age of 30 and don't have your license. Medical reasons aside, you would have had at least 14 years to get a drivers license, and if it hasn't happened yet, it probably never will. I wont become a taxi service. Want to prove me wrong? Dont't.... Do it for yourself instead. Transportation is completely worth it.

...If you want to save my soul because I don't go to church. No offense, but my belief in God shouldn't be an issue. If you believe otherwise, it won't work out.

...If you have any intention to drag me to an American football game or make me watch one on the TV. For several personal reasons, I have to refuse to watch football. Don't care if you watch it by yourself, just not with me. Fairly Neutral on a lot of other sports, but some of them you might get me to play.

...If you plan to smoke around me or do drugs around me. I'm not bothered if you vape or smoke pot elsewhere, but I don't want it around me. I have pretty nasty asthma, so I have to distance myself from these things. Also, drug abuse in general is something that will push me away.
More
The two of us
--
Dating
--
Lifestyle
--
Sex
--
Ethics
--
Other
--
Religion