35Piedmont, United States
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My self-summary
I was abandoned as a child in the wilderness of Northern Maine and raised by a family of traveling circus midgets.

I am fiercely loyal and protective to the ones I care about.

I like the moonlight on a warm summer night. I haven't been on a roller coaster in a while so I need to find one to ride. I love the wind in my face and the speed. I love the excitement of new places, I haven't had a lot of chances to travel, I would love to travel around.

I play some guitar(admittedly, I'm a bit out of practice at the moment) and love 80s cartoons. I'm a huge Transformer fan. I'm an operation Iraqi Freedom veteran.

I would like to go hiking in the fresh air, or skip across a lake on an inner tube. I know how to shoot a bow and have played around with medieval hand and a half training swords. I have trained in Jeet Kune Do(the fighting style Bruce Lee co-created).

I am aspiring stop motion animation director, I could use some help with it though. I have come to the realization that I really want to co-write and/or act in an amateur/big budget film (not porn, you perverts).

I am something of a Nerd. I love science fiction and fantasy. I am fascinated with sci fi technology, I love space ships and robots. I love to read technical manuals about sci fi tech.

I love to play my XBox One/Xbox 360. Let me know if you want to play. My gamer tag is S1DESW1P3
What I’m doing with my life
I am a unicycle mechanic. I specialize in tire rotations and alignments. I used to be a clock tower clock winder. I could have gone pro but it has become all about the money, no one does it for the sake of the winding anymore.
I’m really good at
In high school I was voted most likely to survive a zombie invasion. Also captain of the Analogy Team!

Driving in snow.

Telling the difference between mayonaise and salad dressing by taste.

I've been told I am quite the cunning linguist.

I can take an arrow in the knee like a champ!

My super-human strength allows me to open things you would normally find the contents of unobtainable. Pickles, olives, spaghetti sauce, and the like.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have to believe from the way the construction women ogle and wistle at me while I walk to work it's my fine shapely legs.

I don't know, you tell me. No really, I would like to know.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like more things than listed, I just don't feel like typing them all out. Go ahead and ask me though.


The Dark Tower series
God is Not Great
I am America(and so can you)
5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth


Lord of The Rings
Iron Man
Back to the Future
Monty Python and the Holy Grail


Burn Notice
Top Gear
Daily Show
Colbert Report
Star Trek
Mystery Science Theater 3000


It depends on my mood what I listen to. I will listen to all kinds of music from punk, alternative rock, and some metal, to cheesy 80s love songs. I also like orchestral movie scores. I don't like country, systhesized radio pop, and rap/hip hop.

Sevendust, Breaking Benjamin, NOFX, Lagwagon, Melloncollin. Just to name a few.


breakfast burritos

I hate onions!
Six things I could never do without
indoor plumbing
tasty vittles
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I am going to take over the world.

Post apocalyptic wastelands and my survival strategies.

Why do so many girls on here have pictures wearing fake mustaches? Do girls have mustache envy? What is up with that?
On a typical Friday night I am
I usually dont make advance plans, so it depends on what is going on. I can go out and do something, or say home and do something there.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't have the best sense of direction

I don't believe in the moon....I think it's just the back of the sun

I am fullly capable of engaging in serious discussions when necessary
You should message me if
I don't really put a lot of stock in okcupid's match percentages, so don't let that stop you from messaging me if you want to.

I am ready to try life in co-op mode, I would like something that's going to last a while.

You like my profile and want to talk. Im looking for Someone flirtatious who likes to cuddle and hold hands. Sense of humor is a must since I like to joke around. I'm looking for a girl that likes excitement, but also doesnt mind just hanging around. I understand my girl has her own life and her own friends just as I do so she will have her own stuff to do. Someone who is real and not trying to scam me. No one with loose wiring or sexually repressed need apply.

You want someone to protect you from horror movie mosters!!

You recognize and appreciate the reference in my username.

If you are going to give me a high rating, and I am aware that people have, why not just send me a message and see what happens?!
The two of us