51Trenton, United States
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My self-summary
Despite being polite and a bit old-fashioned, about the only thing I'm intolerant of is people who walk too slowly on the sidewalk. Probably because I grew up in PA, came of age in NY and am now in central NJ. Friends say I'm witty, artistic, and offbeat, and I'm a good conversationalist with a dry (ok, also weird) sense of humor.

I'm also married, and my wife and I are both joyfully exploring open, honest non-monogamy. I think labels only go so far, but the one that gets used for this is polyamory. I know it's popular these days, but that's only because it's awesome.

I'm not especially looking for casual sex. I don't have the inclination, temperament or time to be promiscuous, despite having heard wonderful things about it. I'm hoping to make real connections and have some adventures but in the end I'm looking for more of a girlfriend, someone with whom I can share a heart connection.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm taking care of my family. I'm seeing the beauty of the world around me. I'm trying to be a good friend and positive force in my little corner of this shrinking planet.

My career is going OK and I'm making a living, but not a killing. I'm passionate about what I do though, which is try to humanize technology. It's great to be able to stand up for the little guy, even if I'm not fighting injustice or saving the planet. (Those are just hobbies.)

I help run a local meetup group called PolyNJ that supports people in non-monogamous relationships and I'm also involved with other tri-state area poly events like OpenLoveNY's monthly poly cocktails.

I'm perpetually trying to find more time for creative pursuits. Just took up the piano for the first time after years of dreaming about it. I also dabble with writing & movie making.
I’m really good at
I've been a techie for a long time, and I can do at least a little bit and sometimes a lot of nearly everything computer-related. I'm pretty awesome at generally figuring out how things work.

Also conversation. Yeah I said that already. Apparently I'm also good at repeating myself.

I am a good communicator, though. I know how to listen, even if I don't always do so perfectly. I can turn a phrase. I try to be insightful and empathetic. I don't dismiss people even when I disagree with them.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably that I'm smart, and that I have a unique take on things. I don't generally stand out much in a crowd. But give me a small group and watch out. Heads will spin.

Also, people are often surprised when they find out my age since I look a lot younger than I am.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - I went through a period of only reading non-fiction for a while, but I got past it. Now I strive for more of a balance. History, anthropology and psychology are some of my favorite topics. I have an endless fascination with the workings of the human mind. I also have a sweet tooth for trashy science fiction novels, but it's not all the fiction I read.

On my Kindle now: Debt: The First 5000 Years by D. Graeber, American Nations by C. Woodard, Homeland by C. Doctrow, Saturn's Children by C. Stross, Three Felonies A Day by H. Silverglate. As for my dead trees pile, I just finished No Place To Hide by G. Greenwald and I'm now working through a biography of Ian Mackintosh.

Movies - I LOVE movies but I don't go to nearly enough of them. I like an odd combination of art house cinema and comic-booky action flicks. Actually, I like nearly anything. Documentaries, if they're well made. Indie films. The occasional summer blockbuster. The only genre I'm not really interested in is horror. CNN's website is good enough for that, most days.

A fairly random sampling of favorites old and new: Wish I Was Here, Moonrise Kingdom, Inception, Avatar, Everything Is Illuminated, Lars and the Real Girl, Mystery Men, the Harry Potter Series (but the books were better), even-numbered Trek movies, The Matrix, Raising Arizona, Back To The Future, Flash Gordon, Streets Of Fire, and anything by Kubrick.

Shows - I don't watch TV.

(long, awkward pause)

Um, so moving on...

Music - I've pretty much given up on the whole idea of musical taste since I figured out that limitimg my exposure to things I might enjoy wasn't really serving any good purpose. I will listen to anything and probably like some of it. My heart belongs to 70s rock even though nobody thinks it's cool anymore. I like classical but not well enough to reliably tell Stravinsky from Janacek. And someday I'm going to be that old man who still listens to bubblegum pop on the radio, and I'm just fine with that.

Food - I like all kinds of food but I'm a vegetarian, so we're probably not going to a steakhouse on our first date. I love flavors from all over the world- Korean food is a favorite. I'm more drawn to rich flavors than to spicy ones. Also love picking a great wine or beer to complement both the meal and the season.

When tempted, I have been known to eat dessert before dinner. You have been warned.
Six things I could never do without
Music, something to read, imagination, interesting skies, caring people, hope for the future.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Justice. Sex. Art. The media. The last conversation I had with my wife. Gadgets. The future. And that's just on a typical drive to work...
On a typical Friday night I am
Looking to get out of the house against all odds. Unless it's my wife's night with her boyfriend. Then I'm thinking about My Little Pony, because that's what I watch with my daughter on Fridays when Mom's away. (We are both too old for it. Neither of us cares.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I look at the photos first.
You should message me if
• You're smart
• You're open minded
• You're >90% OK with open relationships / polyamory
• You already have a primary relationship but are looking for a complementary connection
• You're interested in discussing or finding out more about polyamory
The two of us