62Los Osos, United States
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My self-summary

I am a sometimes bubbly extrovert who has been forced by current conditions into the life of a hermit. I don't like this, so I broke down and came to online dating in the hopes I can remedy my situation. I moved to SLO County from Santa Cruz - where I had a full life - in 2003.

I am quite friendly, positive and intelligent. I have had a cat for many years. I am a liberal Democrat. I try to do my best for the environment as well as social causes. I used to work in the education field, and I have a lot of opinions about it.

I was married and divorced so many years ago; it's not really an issue in my current life. I adopted and raised his daughter; she is now an adult and estranged from me (her choice, alas).

I have a big heart that goes out to people, animals and kids (yeah, they're people, but I think they deserve their own category).

In relationships, I am totally loyal/faithful, affectionate, (com)passionte, loving and caring. I hope you are too.

I have been drawn to Native American traditions and beliefs; I used to attend full moon ceremonies, drumming circles, etc. My life and behavior stem from my spiritual beliefs, which also include New Thought (e.g., Unity and Religious Science). I believe in God and that there's a spark of divinity in us all, which makes us all connected. I try to live from love, not pain; from intentional not mindless; from positive not negative.
What I’m doing with my life
Unfortunately, since becoming disabled in 2001, I haven't been doing much. I like to talk with friends (who are all long distance), watch TV, stay current on events and, of course, love my cat! I'm determined not to continue being a hermit. Despite my condition, I don't think I am a needy, high-maintenance woman and I'm definitely not a drama queen. I have been used to living alone/on my own and I cherish tranquility - I don't allow negativity/stress into my home or my life. I love to laugh, I'd like to start having some more fun and talk intelligently with someone about life!

Before becoming disabled, I was an assistant director of special education for a school district in Santa Cruz/Monterey Counties. In the past, I've been a special education teacher, education research/writer, editor and so much more, including working for the IRS! Boy, do I have some stories I could tell.

I used to be in a choir when I lived in Santa Cruz and discovered I was a decent tenor. I was also in a Buddhist (adhering to that faith not required) meditation group for survivors of chronic illness (it was very uplifting, not a whine/pity group). I miss those activities here on the Central Coast.

I suppose the largest thing I'm doing with my life is helping others who are in it. I've been told I am a vast wealth of information and I take pleasure in sharing what I know to help my friends. Also, as I explain in the next section, I'm good at analyzing situations, so I often help my friends figure out what to do when they face various problems in their lives. Knowing that I am able to, and do, help others is my raison d'etre.

Given my situation, I'd rather focus on what I'd like to do - hopefully with you!

I used to love dancing. It's been years since I've done any, so I'm not sure if I'm currently able to dance for an extended amount of time (of course, I can always stand there and sway back and forth if nothing else!) I like concerts, as long as it isn't just loud noise. I prefer small venues (like the Red Barn in Los Osos), rather than large arenas. I saw Bonnie Raitt there and loved it! I also like to listen to and observe people, e.g., drinking a latte and watching the scenery.

I'm drawn to the water and the woods. I find it spiritual and calming. So, any visits to the shore and boat voyages are great! I've been on a Windjammer cruise (on a 3-masted schooner), which I absolutely loved. After getting to know you (and hopefully we like each other), walks hand-in-hand on the beach or cliff overlooking the shore sounds nice! So do picnics and going to the movies (does anyone go to the theater anymore)? Short, easy treks in the woods are also appealing (I even have a brochure of local trails with a lot of info to help me figure out whether they would make me breathe hard, but not cause any pain, or whether I shouldn't step foot one on the trail for fear it will totally wipe me out!)

I have an adventuresome streak. Besides the Windjammer (in case you don't know, they are totally unlike the huge cruise ships, which I've also done; you totally feel the rocking and rolling beneath your feet - try dancing with high heels and too many rum drinks on that!) Years ago, I did a Tony Robbins firewalk, which involved walking barefoot over 12 feelt of hot charcoal. It was fantastic! Very powerful. I've water rafted (loved it; hated when it came to an end and regret not buying the photo, even tho it was a rip-off pricewise), tubed down the Ichnetucknee (sp?) River, in Florida, with the gators (!), and kayaked in another Florida river. I haven't done any of these lately, but I'm still game.

I stopped going to bars decades ago. I don't think it's a good way to meet someone (unless you're looking for a hook-up - which I'm not). Also, I sort of stopped drinking. I might have a rare glass in a social situation though.
I’m really good at
most forms of communication (I'm a published writer in the field of education). I've been called a human spell-check (although my skills are slipping) and won spelling bees in my adult life)! I'm also good at problem solving and figuring out what's wrong in interpersonal dynamics. once upon a time, I was a member of Toastmasters and won a trophy for 2nd place in thinking up and presenting a 2-minute talk on a given topic

Also, I'm very flexible and able/willing to compromise. I've often played the role of peacekeeper/maker.

I used to be a great masseuse. I'm not sure how long I could perform, but at the right time (pain level is down) with the right person (we have an emotional connection and trust each other), I'd be willing to give & receive!
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm vertically challenged (!)

I wear glasses

I'm overweight (frankly, I'm confused by OKC's various classifications of body type: what's the difference between overweight, full figured, a little curvy and 'a little extra?' I think I can truthfully say I'm not obese, but due to above, you'll just have to meet me to figure out which description best fits me.) Lately, my thyroid gland's been out of whack (and no, that's not an excuse; I've literally gone from hypo- to hyperthyroid which wreaked havoc on a lot of body systems, so I quickly gained 30 pounds (this is when my photos were all taken), then lost 19 in one week! And now I've gained back some weight yet again. So, I hope weight isn't an issue for you. I *can* say I'm not slender, so if you're looking for someone with so-called perfect or even average measurements, then don't waste our time by emailing. I would much prefer someone who is more concerned with the type of person I am on the inside.

My smile

I can be vivacious and caring. Seriously, I have a big heart. Also, I like to talk and laugh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like practically all kinds of food (even Moroccan) , although I can't handle super-spicy foods and don't care for most types of sushi (I did like something with salmon, but if you expect me to tell you which ones, you're out of luck). Chocolate is my downfall; gotta watch how much I eat of it. I popped out of the womb saying, 'Any flavor as long as it's chocolate!' I even eat okra! (Credit living in Florida for 8 years for that oddity.)

Ditto for movies (I like most genres), except I'd really rather not watch slasher/horror films. I've gotten better over the years when I watch movies with blood; now I don't get sick like I used to. I'm a very sensitive person, and that includes reacting to real and/or imaginary blood. I do like sci fi, psychological thrillers, action, some comedies and dramas. And, yes, I will admit I also like 'chick flicks.'

As for music, I like soft rock, r&b (especially old school), some jazz and blues, oldies from the 60's, 70's and 80's like Joni Mitchell, James Taylor, CSNY, Jethro Tull, some world music [other than Ladysmith Black Mambaza I don't know any names], a capella groups, etc.; nothing too heavy or nonmelodic, so heavy/acid metal is out. I like a little (big emphasis on little) rap and country (e.g., Bonnie Raitt, who I saw in concert at the Red Barn in Los Osos).

I really haven't been reading books lately, so I can't name a favorite one. The reason for this is I've lost some of my ability to concentrate this past decade. When I was reading books, their genres were often sci fi, spirituality, communications (e.g., Neurolinguistic Programming), metaphysics and/or self-improvement. Chopra, Dwyer are 2 authors that come to mind.
Six things I could never do without
indoor plumbing
my cat
communicating with dear friends (phone/internet)
spirituality and my mind
tv (the only reason this is even on my list is that you aren't in my life yet ;-}

(sorry; i slipped in a little extra and these are in no particular order)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Hmmmm, I tend to stay in the present moment, but I don't like to dwell on my medical issues. Sometimes I think about the future (e.g., whether I'll be alone, how long my cat will live). Sometimes I think about my friends' lives. Lately, I've been thinking about the oil spill.

I check in with myself to notice if my thinking is conscious and affirmative or habitual and limited by negativity. Preferably it's habitually infinitely affirmative.

Lately, I've been thinking about you, wondering if/when we'll connect, whether it will grow into a long-term relationship (I hope so). Although I checked off that I'm interested in short- and long-term dating, ideally I'd like a dating relationship that grows into a long-term commitment. It's been so long since I've been on the dating scene; some of my attitudes/beliefs may change in time - who knows?
On a typical Friday night I am
at home, watching movies/shows. In the future, I'd like to be out with you, or in!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Life hasn't been the same since becoming disabled. I don't look disabled; all my problems are invisible - but they're there nonetheless. I have limited energy. With my insomnia, I have weird hours. How I'm doing varies day to day. If you want more details about my conditions, I am willing to share; I just don't want to do it here! Also, I don't want to paint a morose picture and/or turn you off, but I do want to be real with you. I think it's only fair, plus it's a time saver, to say this upfront. That way, if it's a deal breaker for you, we'll both know right away. If that's the case, c'est la vie and it's your loss. After all, I am much more than my disabilities, similar to the way I am not my body, I just happen to live in it. My situation isn't terminal (or that serious) and it doesn't prevent me from having various types of social interactions and fun!
You should message me if
you're a man and you're looking for a woman (not a girl) - don't know if this is unnecessarily picky, but I'm turned off when a man in his 40's - 60's says he's looking for a girl; to me, girls are aged 0-approx. 12, followed by tweens, teens/adolescents, young women and finally women (which I am)!! I listed the age range of 45-65, but that's not written in stone.

you are single and not in a committed relationship
you are honest
you are respectful
you're intelligent
you are loyal
you're financially stable/secure
you are compassionate/caring
you're flexible (I don't mean physically, although that's not a bad idea!)
you live an hour or less from Los Osos (or you are willing to do all the driving)
you don't smoke cigarettes
you are not addicted to any substances
no game playing - mean what you say and say what you mean!
no criminals
I'm not sure about men with very young children. I did that once and I'm not sure I want to do the blending thing at this point in my life.

If more comes to me in this section, I'll edit it, so please check back!
The two of us