34Oakland, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
If I could be any punctuation mark I'd be a semicolon; if I could be any phoneme I'd be a schwa. I enjoy fervently making false claims about root vegetables, blurring dichotomies, and even splitting an infinitive or two when I'm feeling feisty.

Other interests include cilantro, cognitive science, photography, and other people.

I am analytical, wry, and never bored

I'm in an open relationship. I don't have rigid expectations about where OKC connections will lead - various permutations of sex, romantic attachment, and platonic friendship are all OK. I'm currently more interested in meeting women than men. I generally only relate well to straight cis men if they're "culturally queer" / really reflective about the construction of gender and sexuality.

WARNING: I am overcommitted these days, so if I don't write you back, it is likely a sign I'm losing at Schedule Tetris rather than a judgment of incompatibility. Feel free to write me anyway; I may write back several months later when I level up.
What I’m doing with my life
Juggling far too many activities and projects because the world is so abundantly interesting (and I'm so easily distracted) that I can barely keep up.

A couple years back, I was prioritizing backpacking and mountain-climbing and gardening and fermenting things, and spending most of my weekends on elaborate food preparation projects or deep in the wilderness. After moving to the bay a year ago, I fell into the local hacker/maker/interactive art culture and spent the summer building a giant metamorphosing fire sculpture, and am now scheming to build swarm robots and DIY brain stimulators (which I promise are totally not going to kill anyone). I ride my bicycle ~50-150 miles per week and am always interested in raising that average.

I also waste a lot of time on the internet. Don't tell anyone - it's a secret.

I would like to do more:
-amateur mycology (of the culinary kind, mostly)
-climbing of all the things (bouldering gyms! mountains! trees!)
-illicit camping in urban liminal spaces

I recently co-founded a hammock cult and am fond of rigging hammocks in as many places as possible.

Also, I'm still looking for the perfect home for my 2nd pair of 7-inch-diameter googly eyes.
I’m really good at
Cooking. Writing. Indecisiveness. Nesting parentheses. Abstract concept-wrangling. Making people sleepy with magic cuddle hypnosis powers.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyelashes, my shyness (although this is context-dependent: once you get to know me well, or if you get me going on the right topic, I will never shut the hell up).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
As I grow older I feel less and less defined by my tastes, and increasingly reluctant to rattle off a long list of band names as tribal signifiers. I do have deeply felt attachments to certain books and music (and film to an extent, although less than the other two), but am erratic about keeping up with new stuff.

Best two novels I've read recently: Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson and Zazen by Vanessa Veselka. Been considering rereading Infinite Jest for the 3rd time.

Shows: Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, Battlestar Galactica (this is a comprehensive list of all the TV i've watched in the last 3 years!)

Music: today I listened to Emeralds, Wye Oak, and Fever Ray.

Magazines: Harper's and Bitch!

Websites: I am addicted to Metafilter/Ask Metafilter, mostly as a lurker.

Food: South Indian food, tom yum soup, avocados in dessert contexts, avocados in non-dessert contexts, polenta, quinoa, yams yams yams, raspberries, bitter greens, garlic and lemongrass and cumin and ginger and chilis. Vegetables I grew myself, or that you grew! I'm really into food preparation and sharing as a means of social connection. That being said, these days a disturbingly high percentage of my calories come from burritos and Larabars. I love to cook, but it takes time, and it's less fun when you're only cooking for yourself (hint hint).

Tangent: today I learned that beets contain geosmins, the chemicals responsible for the smell of freshly turned soil after a rain, which humans can smell at 10 parts per trillion. How awesome is that?!
Six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Thinking. Memory. Narrative. Sex. Coding. Relationships, broadly construed. My cats. The surreality of present-day American culture. How people perceive and/or impose patterns in lived experience. How to live a better life (and wtf constitutes a better life, anyway?) Buddhist psychology and mindfulness meditation. Fantasy trips to other countries (cycling through southeast Asia, anyone?)
On a typical Friday night I am
WARNING! WARNING! measures of central tendency are not good summary measures for asymmetric distributions!

(Translation: on a typical Friday night I am a giant nerd.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Well, what do you want to know? My conversational boundaries are permeable, and topics which are supposedly taboo in "polite company" (sex, religion, politics, etc) tend to fascinate me. I also worked in reproductive healthcare for a couple years, which erased a lot of stigmas for me -- now I'm prone to blithely bringing up topics like cervical mucus in mixed company. Oops.
You should message me if
You are looking for compatible things (see my self-summary for what I'm looking for) and you are:
-Reflective, emotionally open, and intellectually curious
-Passionate about an esoteric topic and willing to tell me about it
-Up for a long, rambling walk through the city or backcountry with the goal of getting lost, perhaps guided by a walking algorithm we concoct beforehand
-A woman in tech who wants to hack on shit together (makeouts optional)
-Knowledgeable about rope bondage (I'm not, but I'd like to be)

Realistically, things are unlikely to work out between us unless you a) live in the east bay or b) live in SF and will seek parity in how often we cross the bay to see each other.

If you want to write me but aren't sure how to initiate a conversation, here's a prompt: tell me about something you've been trying to figure out lately. Alternatively, propose an absurd adventure!
The two of us