36Portland, United States
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My self-summary
[Edit: 16 May 2017]
Yikes. It's been two-ish years since I touched this profile. It's gotten so out of date it makes me cringe, but I don't have the time these days to sit down for a full revision.
Just keep in mind while judging from this profile that this was the me of two years ago -- and it's been a hell of a two years -- and I'll be polishing things up as I can.
[End edit]
I sometimes have entire conversations with certain friends consisting entirely of Meows.

I was always the Weird Kid, the Quiet Kid, and the Smart Kid, growing up. Surprisingly, trudging through public school didn't grind those traits out of me.

I'm a theology geek.
You don't have to have this in common with me for us to get along, though.

I'm Polyamorous, specifically Relationship Anarchy style.

This is part of a larger pattern in my life, of analyzing and deconstructing societal norms, expectations and assumptions as much as possible, to guide my life according to what works for me, not according to "that's just how it is".

I'm a gamer geek in many senses -- card games, board games, tabletop, LARP, PC, or consoles. Though I hardly remember what it's like to have the free time for any of these.

"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes 'aww'."
-Jack Kerouac

"...everything you learn is already part of you, even to the Godhead Itself. Study nothing except in the knowledge that you already knew it. Worship nothing except in adoration of your true self. And fear nothing except in the certainty that you are your enemy's begetter and its only hope of healing. For everything that does evil is in pain."
-Clive Barker, through one of his characters, in 'Imajica'
What I’m doing with my life
[Edited May 22, 2017]

Part time college student, finishing up a BS in Computer Science, with a double minor in Math & Physics.
(So close to done!)

Full time paid software developer, working on identity & access management software.

Deeply involved with and dedicated to Social Justice, via Trans-Inclusive, Sex-Positive Intersectional Feminism.

Working on being more active in Cosplay.

Occasional mermaid.

Recreational studies outside of my college focus(es), in a wide variety of fields. For example, the weird little niche field of Cognitive Ethnomusicology, a three-way overlap of Music Theory, Anthropology and Psychology, all of which fascinate me.

Among all this, trying to juggle in time for my current sweeties and friends, and keep up on my favorite shows.
I’m really good at
Reading, spelling and grammar. They're second nature to me.


Recognizing faces.


Understanding others' perspectives.

Crosswords, Sudoku and logic puzzles.

I've also been told I give really good hugs and kisses.
The first things people usually notice about me
Often the first thing people notice about me is that they've just stepped on or collided with me. I have an amazing way of being unnoticed without trying.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
* The Iron Dragon's Daughter by Michael Swanwick. Gritty steampunk fantasy. child slavery, sex magick, love, death, drugs, violence and college. And so much more, but I can't give away the ending.
* Most anything by Neil Gaiman. He's had horrible luck with film/TV adaptations though.
* The Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop. Very atypical fantasy setting. Strong female characters drive both the 'good guys' and the 'bad guys', no knights in shining anything, one dragon and it doesn't fight anyone or have a hoard of gold. Plus three unique, intense and fascinating mentally scarred male anti-hero types that would put a Wolverine or Punisher to shame.
* Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy. 'Young adult' steampunk with philosophy, theology and quantum physics = <3
* Only Begotten Daughter by James Morrow. The Second Coming is a female, and Christians kill Her. Then things get interesting.

* Douglas Adams. From the Hitchhiker's series to Dirk Gently. Wonderful sense of humor, 'random nonsense' that turns up at the other end of the book, or in another book entirely, to actually make perfect sense and explain EVERYTHING. Holistic Detective Agency. Impossible Couch. 'Nuff said.
* VALIS by Philip K. Dick. How much of this is directly autobiographical and how much was embellished to make for better Fiction reading, I don't know. But if even a small chunk of it is accurate, it's an intense experience. And the book will twist your brain in to funny shapes.
* Dune by Frank Herbert.
* Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land.
* Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke.

Other-ish fiction:
The Magus by John Fowles. The literary equivalent of Schroedinger's cat or a Rorschach test. I'm still not sure precisely what the meat of the plot is about, and I think I prefer it that way. Don't read it if you don't want to think.
* Daniel Quinn's Ishmael. Using fiction to deliver a real-world message.
* 'Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal' by Christopher Moore
* I don't read much realistic fiction, so this one won't reach 5.

* Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson. His works tend to repeat each other often, but this one says the most in the best way in my opinion.
* Freedom is a Two-Edged Sword by John W. 'Jack' Parsons. Not only was he a brilliant mind in the field of rocketry, but this provides a great glimpse in to the thoughts of such a dynamic personality beyond that field as well.
* Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot.
* Quantum Self by Danah Zohar. (This has a particular sort of synergy when read immediately after or before the previous book.)
* The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future by Riane Eisler
* Immanuel Velikovsky.
* Godel, Escher, Bach by Douglas R. Hofstadter
* The Passover Plot by Dr. Hugh J. Schonfield
* Undoing Yourself with Energized Meditation and Other Devices by Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D.
* From the Ashes of Angels by Andrew Collins.

* Principia Discordia & Apocrypha Discordia
* The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. Not so much a story as a series of inspirational quotes strung together loosely by a narrative. Beautiful ideas though.
Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche. I don't understand why people see his ideas as so gloomy and negative and destructive. I didn't get that at all from it.
Various & sundry religious or spiritual scriptures and treatises. The rarer or more unusual the better.

Movies: Too many to name thoroughly, so I'll pick one for each letter of the alphabet.
American Beauty. Now that I've finally seen it, it replaced Amélie as my A.
Boondock Saints
City of Lost Children
Dark City
F - Crap, a tie. Fifth Element or Fight Club.
Godzilla movies (a type, not a title, but still.)
Idle Hands
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
Knockaround Guys
Labyrinth, though Ladyhawke came in right on its tail.
Mel Brooks movies.
National Treasure
Office Space
Payback. Ooh, or Paycheck.
Romeo + Juliet
Serenity. Closely followed by Secret of NIMH and Secret of Roan Inish.
Tank Girl
V for Vendetta
What Dreams May Come
Young Frankenstein. And if that doesn't count 'cuz Mel Brooks is already covered, Young Einstein.
...My problem with movies is I have a talent for being more tolerant than most people of bad movies. Some I like BECAUSE they're bad.

This is a difficult one to cover thoroughly enough. I like at least a little bit from every genre. Seriously. Name any genre, and if I've ever heard it I can name at least something I like in it. If I HAVEN'T heard it, I'll thank you for expanding my horizons.
I like atypical time scales, as well as complex & intricate melodies. Especially intricate bass melodies.
particularly great music gives me an immediate physical sensation.
Also, Jonathan Coulton rocks my socks.
Six things I could never do without
I have to assume for the sake of a more interesting question that the basic needs of survival are provided for, and this is more a question of what you would completely break down without rather than what you would literally die directly from the lack of.

1. Giving and receiving physical touch with a human being I trust and am comfortable around. No, I don't necessarily mean sex. I am a very touch-oriented person, and can go fairly crazy if I go without it for long. My personal boundaries when it comes to touch are unusual. It's all or nothing, depending on which side of that crucial comfort-level boundary you fall. I've upset people by attempting to give them hugs, and those people confuse me.
2. Music. Whether a magical perpetual generator, a stereo and a stack of unscratchable CDs, or simply the materials, tools and knowledge to craft my own more 'primitive' instruments.
3. Someone of at least slightly above average intellect to converse with.
4. A private place. Being an introvert, I need peaceful alone-time once in a while to recharge or I go a little crazy.
5. The ability to bathe.
6. Someone I love. (This would in theory cover 1 and 3 as well.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The interplay between the psychological models of Freud, Jung, Reich and Leary.
How much of human behavior is autopilot or conditioned thinking.
Advanced physics theories.
Who and what I am.
How to put half the things spinning through my brain in to words.
Recursion, paradoxes, and fractals.
On a typical Friday night I am
...probably at work, unfortunately.
When I'm not, I'm usually reading something or researching something online or, rarely, hanging out with co-workers or friends doing a whole lot of nothing in particular.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have past experiences in emotionally abusive relationships.
You should message me if're in the Portland area and want someone to hang out or go on adventures with.


...there's something about my personality or interests you harmonize with, and you don't mind an internet pen pal who can be slow to respond sometimes because I'm mulling over my reply for an eternity, and I'm also really busy.

If you call people "Tumblr SJW", don't talk to me.
If you deny the existence of Privilege, don't talk to me.
If you have a problem with non-binary gender identity or non-heterosexual orientation, I don't know how you even made it this far, and you shouldn't talk to me.
If you can't come up with an opening message more stimulating to conversation than "Hey", you should probably wait, look over my profile again, give it some thought, and try again later.

I'm here for friendship and getting to know people. I'm not averse to anything developing beyond that, but I barely have time to properly devote to the loves I already have, so I'm certainly not seeking more of them.

Also, I will never be content in monogamy or even polyfidelity, so if your ultimate goal is to find someone to fit one of those roles in your life, that someone will not be me.
The two of us