UPDATE 1: Whoever flagged my photo can burn in hell.
Now that we've covered that, here's something I found about me online.
"Michael _______ is a writer and representative of the Republic of Zaqistan. In the past he has been described as “a living example of the dysfunction of the American medical system.” Currently writing for VICE Media, he specializes in radical economics with a pop culture twist, late night existential discourses, and potentially treasonous conceptual art projects."
UPDATE 3: None of that matters.