These boxes are silly. You only come to my profile cause you think I'm cute/ could be cute/ or you're cringing cause you clicked accidentally.
So now it's time to reel you in with how funny/interesting I am. Luckily for you I am both of these things. I'll just make a funny/interesting list.
• I went to school for musical theatre. I sing so much that I don't even notice it anymore.
• I sing in a Jazz Ensemble. But I also sing pop, RnB, blues, Rock, Folk, and Opera.
• I think all incense smells like hippy farts.
• I hate ketchup, mayonnaise, pickles, and grape flavored food. Also, pumpkin spice beverages are disgusting!
• I like bacon, Netflix, and Oxford commas.
• I work with adults with special needs and children with Autism. I love my guys and if you use the "R" word, I'll educate you, very loudly, on why it's wrong.
• I'm also a really great server and bartender. I can carry a tray in one hand up and down spiral stairs on a boat.
• I've hand crafted drinking games based on Law and Order SVU, LOTR, every disney movie, and now OKCupid.
• I used to be ugly. And fat. So now I don't go to buffets. Real talk, I've lost 80 lbs and I'm still trying to drop more.
• I teach the children I nanny to do silly things; make seal noises, the stanky leg, and to say "ahhh" after taking a drink out of their sippy cups.
• I have multiple power tools, know how to throw a punch, almost never wear makeup. Cause my dad tried to raise me as a boy and or lesbian- he was unsuccessful with the final product.
OKCupid drinking game
everytime someone says:
I love the outdoors
Looking for a nice girl/guy
And everytime a profile has a disclaimer or warning. (Yes, like the one below)
Warning: I don't own Uggs or a North Face... But partially due to my laziness, and partially due to my great butt and thighs, I have given up, and almost exclusively wear spandex as pants. - i've become who I hate..
Teaching myself guitar and piano.
Being a bro
Working with adults with special needs
Being a nanny
I'm also really excellent about cooking. In a way different from most, in that, I'm terrible.
The non hair.
The Office, You're the Worst, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Transparent, Grace and Frankie, Hoarders
Tarzan series, Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Calvin and Hobbes, Treasure Island
Backstreet Boys, 90's: pop, RnB, hip hop. Michael: Buble, Jackson, Bolton
Like, who was the zoning comissioner in Middle Earth, all these structures seem to be very very unsafe... WHERE ARE THE HANDRAILS?!?
Less weird things like:
How I'm not doing my part in this world... Eating more steak should help.
How awesome it would be to pee standing up. Guys, is it awesome?
Okay, I guess that isn't normal either
When can I take my pants off?!
I'm terrified of dolphins.
I spit out the chocolate chunks in my cookie dough ice cream.
1 If you're cute. If you don't know, ask somebody
2. you understand the difference between
Your and You're.
4. you won't try to set me on fire in my sleep.
5. If you're the type of a person that... eats lunch
6. if you noticed that I skipped 3.
7. You can quote Muppet Treasure Island, any LoTR, or It's Always Sunny without prompting
8. You think that that bitch Rose should have shared some of that door with Jack
9. If you'll throw your pie for me.
For ages 21+
Ps. I don't small talk in real conversation. I won't do it here. If all you say is Hi, hello, sup? Etc. in your message i most likely won't respond
Be interesting, or be gone