Bullet points? BULLET POINTS.
- Avid runner that likes telling gravity to suck it.
- obsessed with bouldering, which is basically rock climbing without ropes, and is the bees god damn knees.
- Make pizza so good that it should require a Surgeon General's Warning to account for the possibility of having blown the eater's mind. I always have dough and sauce prepped in my freezer in the event that my friends are hungry at 3am. I host many mid-morning dinner parties.
-You really shouldn't need anything after that pizza shit, honestly.
Ran out of bullet points? RAN OUT OF BULLET POINTS.
Am also trying to get my foot in the door with stand-up comedy, because I feel like that's the natural progression of anyone who was the star class clown of 5th grade. Most of what I do in my life boils down to one singular intention: to make someone laugh and/or happy. It's the reason I love making terribly unhealthy cupcakes and pizza for people, as well as why I attempt to write things that make people smile.
Cheering people up when life sucks.
Playing hot lava.
Jumping reversal corkscrew-fives.
"Hey. Hey, fuck you you side pony fucking son of a bitch. Fuckin' side pony. What is this. What are you, HUH. Fuckin' pony. Side pony. WHO DOES THAT"
"You really aren't helping your case right now."
*THIS IS NO LONGER RELEVANT DUE TO CUTTING OF SAID HAIR BUT FALSE ADVERTISING IS EXHILARATING SO
Also - Eggers, Sedaris, Adams, David Wong
I watch a shit ton of movies and dig everything with an emphasis on comedies, since they're something I aspire to write for in the future. That being said, I am particularly a giant nerd for all of the old Henson movies, and can do the voices for most of the characters. Which I practice, alone, in my apartment. Which is only vaguely depressing. Like a three on the depressing meter. Four, tops. Some stuff: Labyrinth, Dark Crystal, UHF, Big Trouble in Little China
Arrested Development, Sunny in Philadelphia, Flight of the Conchords, 30 Rock - don't have cable but have been trying to get myself into a new show through Netflix every once and awhile BUT THERE IS JUST SO MUCH. OVERWHELMING.
I buy/listen to/play so much music that I wouldn't know where to start with any of it, so I'll say this: music is a thing happiness is made of, like pancakes and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and is a big part of my life.
Band you should check out: The Jezabels. Intense aussie-indie rock.
I went to culinary school years ago, which ended up turning me into some sort of ULTIMATE MEGA FOODIE that will eat everything. Except Circus Peanuts. Fuck Circus Peanuts. Indian and Thai food in particular make me want to do a jumping fist pump.
Out with friends
Covering a shift at work
Checking out local bands
Getting all up in whatever creative shit I am feeling at the time.
Making dinner and either A. Watching some pretty wonderful Netflix movies, or B. Watching some pretty wonderfully awful Netflix movies - like that one with Jean Claude Van Damme where he wears ripped jean shorts and has a tussled mullet that looks like it’s been marinating in Crisco for the better half of a decade. I think he shoots someone with a bow, too.
That the mailman is probably the closest thing I have to a girlfriend right now, as he’s “accidentally” seen me naked AT LEAST seven times.
-you're cool with someone making you ridiculous amounts of food
-you have any questions on pachycephalosaurs and their fused membranes.