34London, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
Consider this a warning.

Since one of the most popular shows on TV is based on a series of doorstop-sized fantasy novels, and the highest grossing summer blockbuster films of the past decade are all about comic characters, I can't use the word 'geek' any more. It's become mainstream. The brand has been diluted. The word does not convey what I need it to. So...

I am a massive nerd.

I like massively nerdy things, like statistics, and word games, and the economic implications of copyright law. I write smutty limericks with linguistics jokes in them. I read books about the history of hat-wearing in Western culture. I spent a good two hours last night thinking about why tears are the only bodily fluid we don't find gross. I buy second-hand textbooks on subjects I'm not even studying. I can talk for quite a while on why I think art is an artefact of the human visual system. A couple of weeks ago I decided, for no reason whatsoever, that I didn't know enough about how steroids worked, so I went away and read up on them.

If that scares you off, it's probably for the best. If it piques your interest, by all means read on...
What I’m doing with my life
Like the Soviet Union, I have a five year plan, though mine will probably prove to be more popular. I'm doing tech things for a fashion company at the moment, and studying towards an Economics and Maths degree in my spare time. The plan is to do a Masters in badass applied maths techniques in a couple of years, and then make amazing things.

In my spare time, I swing dance (Lindy Hop, Balboa, vernacular jazz and Blues), meet strange people in museums, draw, and play the piano very, very badly. Seriously, it would anger you.

(As a bit of a warning, some people think I'm a bit mentally into the swing dancing, because I travel up and down the country [and occasionally abroad] doing it. This is because they haven't met the other swing dancers who are far more mentally into it than I am.)
I’m really good at
A previous incarnation of this profile had several hundred words in this section. This was rather too immodest, and made for heavy reading. Just ask me to impress you, and I'll see what I can come up with.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably the outlandish facial hair. It's like a hook, so people can remember me as "the guy with the sideburns", rather than remembering me by whatever it was I offended them by doing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I am in Stage Two of growing old. This consists of me starting to like things my parents liked when I was a kid, but I couldn't understand at the time. Some examples include Nat King Cole, mushrooms, and complex dramas where people have lots of feelings.

I've gotten quite into espionage fiction over the last couple of years. I reckon espionage fiction falls somewhere on a spectrum. At one end of that spectrum you've got square-jawed action heroes riding away from explosions on a jet-ski they're sharing with a bikini-clad bombshell. At the other end you've got middle-aged men in the 1970s sitting in a darkened room, chain-smoking and wondering who they can trust. I've started to prefer the latter end of that spectrum. I think that's also a part of Stage Two of growing old.

I own some cake tins. It's my intention to use them at least twice before January.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The amount of androgenic body hair someone has (both men and women) is largely a consequence of their testosterone levels. Testosterone levels are also associated with both positively- and negatively-perceived behavioural characteristics (aggression, sexual appetite, risk-taking, etc.). Is the current trend for hair removal just a fashion, is it for accentuating secondary sex characteristics, or is it part of some weird strategy for concealing one's testosterone levels?

Stuff like that. I think about stuff like that, all the bloody time. Remember that, future girlfriends, when you feel the need to ask what I'm thinking about.

My team at work occasionally go for lunch at Byron, the curiously prevalent burger chain. Their comment cards are phrased "I've been thinking...", and every time I'm in there, I fill it out with whatever philosophical perplexity I've been mulling over of late. I like to imagine they have a mull over them as well.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I like to think I have a fairly sophisticated and complex sense of humour, but the funniest thing I have seen in recent memory is the scene in South Park where Randy Marsh is wheeling his space hopper-sized balls around in a wheelbarrow while singing Buffalo Soldier.
You should message me if
Have you got something you want to talk about, but you don't know anyone else who'd be interested? I'd be interested. Talk to me about it.
The two of us