I hate people who say they only smoke when they drink. I say "me too, but I drink a lot".
What I lack in good looks and sex appeal I more than make up for in social awkwardness and mumbling. I've also been told that I stare at the ground when talking to people, but that's probably just when I'm drunk and feeling especially charming...and talking to people.
Beers: I'm all about local beer and drink tons of Porkslap and Ommegang, Peekskill's Eastern Standard and Newburgh Cream Ale. But I'm always willing to try IPAs and porters. Not really into that sour or gose crap but hey if that's your thing.
Types of cats: Balinese, Egyptian Maus, Maine Coons, Himalayans, and Nebelungs.
Favorite conspiracy theories: Currently, I'm totally into the whole Donald Trump is working for the Clinton's thing. For one thing, he's totally BFFs with the Clinton's (not saying that's a bad thing, but its true!) and he is totally systematically alienating every single group that the Republican Party establishment knows they need to win over to stay relevant. Plus, he's not as dumb as he looks, he's knows he can't actually win. Not sure how I feel about 9/11 as an inside job. Still kicking that one around. Same thing with the Robin Williams/Illuminati thing. I'm pretty convinced that Princess Diana's death was not an accident, the moon landing was definitely staged and that the magic bullet theory is totally bullshit. And yes, the Illuminati, CFR, Bilderbergs, Rothschilds, banking cartels and military industrial complex ALL answer to fourth dimensional reptilian overlords.
If you want me to list some cool bands you should check out (because sometimes I just read profiles for the sole purpose of finding new music) try these: Spits, Clarke and the Himselfs, Nobunny, Weird Paul, R. Stevie Moore, Juan Wauters, Milk Dick, Jerry Paper, Ariel Pink, Hunx and his Punx, Jay Reatard, Samuel Locke Ward...older stuff...Sparks, Dead Milkmen, Jawbreaker, Tiny Tim, Dead Milkmen, MDC, Crucifucks, Hasil Adkins, Cramps, Mekons, TV personalities, Gun Club.
Favorite karaoke songs: Private Eyes by Hall & Oates, From a Distance by Bette Midler and Jamaica me Crazy.
Last Friday I was determined to have a Christian Slater movie marathon and watch them in order from oldest to newest but decided at the last minute to just say screw it and start with 'Pump Up the Volume'.
and you understand and agree to abide by the correct usage of the word "epic" as in..."Beowulf is an heroic epic poem written in alliterative verse", or "The Iliad is an epic poem written in dactylic hexameter" as opposed to "I went to Burger King today and had five big macs and 12 orders of french fries and it was epic man!"
and you will never treat me like a yellow starburst or a green jolly rancher.